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PA = Physical affair
I also edited my post...bad read lol.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Do I expose more or do I just work on me? The BEST way and time for you to "work on you" is in Plan B. If you are in a solid DARK (imperative) Plan B you will see everything crystal clear and be able to identify the areas you need to focus on for you. I'm sure they will not be what you feel are the areas you need work on right now because you are in distress. When you are in a Dark Plan B you will be in a Peaceful place in your life within a short amount of time.
FS of 27yrs
BW
DDay 11/2013
Began MB Seminar 7/2014
H quit MB Seminar 10/2014
Filed for D 11/17/2014
PB 12/18/2014
D 07/29/2015
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Have you looked up Lyme ? It's not a fatal condition!
BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months
Divorced
Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.
If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.
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He's said he wants a separation and is an awful husband and doesn't want to hurt me anymore. While noble, I agree it just doesn't add up. Do I expose more or do I just work on me? You should separate and go into Plan B. Did you read our posts? I think it is noble to "work on" yourself, but that is a distraction right now. Your life is in crisis and you need to get moved out. And you need to expose on OW's side.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I haven't gone to OW but I have the resources for her and her family (the whole she's sick and dying and her family is having a difficult time thing has held me back which typing it sounds silly but that's the truth). I would contact her family. You could even contact them out of concern... Dear OW's family, My H, John Doe, has informed me that OW is ill and dying. I am sorry that OW is ill and dealing with a life threatening disease. However, I have also discovered that my H and OW are engaging in an inappropriate relationship which at least reaches the threshold of an emotional affair. I am sorry your family is dealing with OW's illness but I want to salvage my marriage. I take my marital vows seriously. If you could use your influence with OW in ending contact with my husband, I would appreciate it. You can contact me at xxx-xxx-xxxx or at JMSF@yahoo.com if you have any questions. Thank you. Something like that. You may find out that her family knows nothing about her impending death. Kill two birds with one stone.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Have you looked up Lyme ? It's not a fatal condition! x2 I have many friends and relatives in an endemic Lyme area that are very ill, and have been near death multiple times over 15 yrs, but bounce back time after time... and after watching all that I'd still say Dr Harley is accurate in stating that the suffering brought on by infidelity tops it all. It wouldn't change a thing about the plan if she were dying, but that might make you feel better and more convinced you are being sold lies.
Married to Pearlseeker for 13 yrs
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I haven't gone to OW but I have the resources for her and her family (the whole she's sick and dying and her family is having a difficult time thing has held me back which typing it sounds silly but that's the truth). I would contact her family. You could even contact them out of concern... Dear OW's family, My H, John Doe, has informed me that OW is ill and dying. I am sorry that OW is ill and dealing with a life threatening disease. However, I have also discovered that my H and OW are engaging in an inappropriate relationship which at least reaches the threshold of an emotional affair. I am sorry your family is dealing with OW's illness but I want to salvage my marriage. I take my marital vows seriously. If you could use your influence with OW in ending contact with my husband, I would appreciate it. You can contact me at xxx-xxx-xxxx or at JMSF@yahoo.com if you have any questions. Thank you. Something like that. You may find out that her family knows nothing about her impending death. Kill two birds with one stone. I like this but i would eliminate the part about inappropriate relationship and just call it what it is. If you start using qualifiers, they will too.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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He's said he wants a separation and is an awful husband and doesn't want to hurt me anymore. . "I know it's wrong but I like it and I can't stop cheating on the woman I vowed to love forever". It's not noble chick. Hi BrainHurts - Thank you for the response.
I've exposed to his family and close friends and my family. I haven't gone to OW but I have the resources for her and her family (the whole she's sick and dying and her family is having a difficult time thing has held me back which typing it sounds silly but that's the truth). Think if it was your sister though - would you appreciate her last days being used on this? Being some married guy's OW? Grief brought my ex and his OW together too. She was his best friend's widow (and my friend). I exposed on the anniversary of his death to her family and in-laws. They were incredibly grateful to me for the heads up - she'd been acting pretty weird. Also, WS is convinced that he's the one who is going to save her. He "has to save her, I won't let her die" he says. (Lyme, Parasites in brain and in legs is what I've gotten.) I really hate the Knight in Shining Armour Affairs. So very pathetic. Does he think he has healing powers or something? With luck, once her family knows he won't get near her hospital bed. He will get punched out by her dad for making her a mistress while sick! The separation in the same house is a common cake eating ploy - he doesn't want to give up the needs you meet, but he likes the side drama of being her knight in shining armour. If she were solely responsible for meeting his needs in Plan B she would fail miserably. But that is not the reason for Plan B - it is to keep you healthy and happy and whole.
Last edited by indiegirl; 04/09/15 05:09 PM.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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She is not dying of Lyme disease. That is a load of quack.
I have performed a quick search of Pubmed and nmortality risk came up. She either believes this because she has been reading unserious websites or because she wants to snap your husbsnd.
Last edited by happyheart; 04/09/15 06:30 PM.
me, DH
5 children
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Wouldn't be the first wayward to lie!
Exposure to her family will clear that one up....
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Thank you all - the last 24 hours have been very difficult but I appreciate all the support and suggestions. I will be taking action this week.
BS
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Thank you all - the last 24 hours have been very difficult but I appreciate all the support and suggestions. I will be taking action this week. What actions will those be?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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