I think you are on the verge of turning this around and eventually ending this affair and the addiction aspect. You've done the work of exposure and are in a reactive phase.

Use the scripting veteran posters are arming you with and not arguing with your wife will help to not validate her reactions. Her brain on affair will not see the truth.

Telling your wife you only want her to be happy is your brain on the affair. Its in a kind of fog too. Your in pain and you want to not be in pain anymore. You see your wife and you see pain.

You may not feel confident this can be turned around so for now, right now, its best to borrow our confidence. We see you are in this pocket and its a matter of time for the affair to implode.

This phase of complete bald face rejections and betrayal from your spouse is traumatic. The best thing to do is put one foot in front in the other each day, each hour and each moment and muster all the faith you have in a power greater then yourself. Having this experience may help you get through other tough spots in life.

Don't leave the site. Come back and post everyday. We know you are doing the work. You can come here and complain and vent.