Hey Spicey, let us know what is going on.<P>I haven't been able to post much today because of work and my son's doctor's appointment.<P>Did he contact you, you him. Let us know what we can do to help<P>My prayers are with you,<BR>Love,<BR>Jessica

I just found a message about your H on another thread.<P>I know you are worried, I would be too. Remember that that is evidence of you love.<P>I see so much promise for you. He is hurting for you and for the person he become. I don't perceive this as hurting for her. You have a man out there that hurt you, but that is killing him. I feel that too is evidence of love.<P>Take heart young Spicey. You have a man that did a very bad thing, but I don't feel he is a bad man. Go to him. Let him come to you. Be thankful that in this terrible situation you are atleast lucky enough to still have the love of your husband. <P>You may not feel loved right now. I fully understand this, but take it from someone who has dealt with this for 18 months. He is really showing some very positive signs right now.<P>I just would like to see him home where you can keep him safe and he can help you and thus help himself and thus help the two of you as a married unit.<P>Tak heart, your situation is really sounding good to me in a way that I wish you never had to experience.

Essyboo, Thank you very much, you don't know how much you have helped me these couple of days. It seemed liked we (H& me) talked forever and I cried myself to sleep in his arms. If it hadn't been for this forum I probably would've left my husband. Once again thanks.<BR> Now tell me how are things going for you? Here you are keeping me strong and you have your problems to handle. I feel bad because I have been drawing your strength and giving you anything in return. Is there anything I can do for you? You have come to mean so much to me.

Read my thread entitled I told my husband I loved him.<P>So much healing is matter of attitude and letting yourself heal.<P>You have helped my too Spicey. I found myself telling you things that I knew had to be done and realizing how hard I was keeping myself from doing them. <P>I told you to listen to your heart and I wasn't listening to mine.<P>Things are going good for us right now.<P>Remember my theme. If we always manage to love each other today, and we always manage to love each other tomorrow we will always manage to love each other forever.<P>I try not to worry about next year, next 5 years, or yesterday. Love him today and love him tomorrow.<P>When I start worrying about the future or dwelling on the past I cause myself pain and trouble. I stop trying and working and then things go bad. When I am able to keep myself focussing on the issue at hand it really isn't hard to be happy and find some security.

Making sure Essyboo sees this.