This really stinks. Heard my ex's voice on my voice mail this morning, called him back just to let him know I did not ignore his call, but left my cell at home. He said he did not think I was ignoring, but I mentioned you never know. He was only telling me that he left mail in my car at work again. I asked how he was doing, and he said (fine, I guess). Then told him to take care, and hung up. I hate how this marriage ended and I miss him. Also I hate his stubborness and refusal to get help for himself. Why couldn't God just answer my prayers for us? God hates divorce, so why did he not help????? <P>I was doing pretty good up until hearing his voice. I am working on getting my life together and hoping to be happy again one day. Can make it day to day without breaking now, but I am not happy. I wish for him to be too. Even after all the hurt he put me through, I love him like no other and hate the thought he is not happy. Maybe he is and he only wanted me to think different. Who knows.<P>I think it's time for me to visit my dr. for some meds. Have not been on them for a long time, but maybe they will help.<P>Just have to get this out of my system. Divorce is the pitts and after reading some of these post from other men all the sudden yearning for ow that their spouse, and acting like they will die if they dont have them, really makes me feel there is no hope for a truly happy marriage. I can be happy with one man, and no matter how good another looks still not desire him. How come I cant find a man who can offer me the same, or is this only possible in fairy tales???<P>Bluestar<P>going to bed now.
