Last year I bought my wife a tablet for her birthday and since then it has sort of consummed her ooorrr.. maybe I'm wrong but you tell me.
So like I said I bought her a tablet, but everynight during the week, after I get home and the kids goes to bed, (which will be another story after this). We both sit down and talk for about 10 -15 minutes then she takes out her tablet and plays games (candy crush, uno, checkers, etc) for over 1-2 hours and so I'm, left watching tv and will little or no communications all night. Sometimes, I've even as a surprise, brought home take out and a movie for a in-home date night and still the same results, if she doesn't like what I've rented. I've mentioned she is addicted to the tablet and she get defensive and slings the mud back. Not only the tablet, but she relies on texting and facebook for communicating with her " friends and family" I know this is a new form of communicating with people these days, and it has its place, but to rely on this a pure form of taling to people.. please! I work as a mechanical engineer so I'm around high tech all day, so when I get home the last thing I want to do is surf the web or turn on any goo-gadget. I want to unplug maybe I'm old fashion becasue I don't have a smart phone.
Is it me or is this a problem?

Lastly my 11 year old daughter has been asking for a Ipod, becasue "everyone else has one" I told my wife no way no how will a 11 year old get one, and then the fighting started with how I love to control everything. Them she tells me about her " piecce of [censored] phone she has and its embaressing that she doesn't have a smart phone, but guess who would have to pay the bill bec asue my wife is a stay at home mom. Is it me being a control freak or my wife being addicted to electroncis and

First off read how to eliminate lovebusters.

Then, Dr H recommends four four hour dates outside the home. You can't have 'in-house' dates because there are too many distractions in the home.

If you can lure your wife out on dates she'd be in love with you and need fewer needs to be met by other people. It really does take 15 hours a week (see how many hours she's online looking for affection!) Men can typically be in love with less maintenance.

But nothing will work if you lovebust each other.

Under PoJA, if you object to the tablet it should go. But I would introduce that policy slowly, eliminat ing lovebusters first. You might be OK with it if she gave you dating time.

Welcome to MB, frank.

In an MB marriage, your complaint about your wife's excessive use of electronics would not be met with defensiveness and mud-slinging (if her use ever grew to that level in the first place). Also, you would come to a joint decision about your's daughter's request for a smartphone.

Your wife should be willing to listen to your complaint, and she should be able to see that a marriage where she checks out from you and uses a tablet at all times is not a marriage. So, why isn't she responding to this complaint?

Clearly, the problem in your marriage did not start with the purchase of the tablet.

Your marriage needs a complete overhaul, so that you and your wife spend at least 15 hours per week out of the home on dates, meeting the 4 intimate emotional needs. Your marriage also needs to become one in which you each try to meet the other's most important emotional needs, avoid love busters, and respond to respectful complaints. There does not seem to be much romance in the marriage you describe.

You also need to learn about the Policy of Joint Agreement (POJA), and about negotiating and brainstorming. For example, with your daughter's wish to have a smartphone and your wife supporting her, your response should not be a flat out "no way" and "guess who would have to pay the bill". You are right to want to protect your daughter from the Internet horror stories we hear, and from addiction, but you could explore whether it is possible to let your daughter have a phone with limited functions, and see whether there are family plans that could cut the bill. You could also control for how long she is allowed to use it each day.

You need to brainstorm, and take each other's perspective into account. Perhaps, after a respectful discussion, your wife will agree that your daughter should not have a phone for another year.

Incidentally, "you" would not be paying the bill. The money you earn is joint money, between you and your wife. it is not yours to decide how to spend. That's a horrible attitude to bring to a marriage, and no wonder your wife dislikes it.

Indeed.