You'd be better off throwing your money down a drain. How can you possbily resolve or change something that ended a long time ago? It's done and can't be changed.



If your mother is abusive - end contact with her today. For heaven's sake don't go to some quack somewhere to relive and remember it all over again in fine tuned detail.

Focus on now. Focus on Today and on learning to PoJA with your husband. Focus on your happiness today.

Hi indiegirl,

Yes, my mother was mentally/emotionally abusive to me throughout my childhood. Hear she belittle me and put me down verbally everyday does take toll on my self-worth.
She also physically beaten me once too, this did go to Court and I was taken away to "Foster Home" for few years before I returned back home.

I left my mother house when I was 18, and I'm 30 this year. So clearly I don't have a close relationship with my mother.

I do drive home to visit my father once a month, the dad that never abuse me. My dad is old now. Dad is 10+ years older than mom.
But everytime I came home to visit. My mom give me a hard time, from insulting me to said many hurtful things about me and my marriage.

Trust me, you know what emotionally torture is when you swallow your own tears while eating. I can see my own tears drop down the rice bowl as I was eating on the table.
I NEVER once I can have a nice meal with my old dad without hearing my mom insulting me. If it weren't for my dad, I don't think I have the strength to come home to see her.

I do love my husband and I can't picture my life without him. If married him mean my mother disown me, then let it be. I have no regrets married him.
The only thing I worry is would my childhood have any negative effects me when I become a mother.

Thank you for all advice, really appreciated and will follow the advice given to me. Again, thank you.

You right. I need to forget the past and concentrate working on my marriage, will go working on it right now.
Let the past stay in the past. Those suffering days in my childhood are long gone, now need to concentrate on the future.

I suggest adding "He Wins, She Wins" to your reading list. The secret to resolving issues in marriage does not start with solving issues of the past, but rather begins with developing negotiating skill that are respectful of each other's perspectives. This enables solutions that will make both you and your spouse happy. When you accomplish that, then the other side issues with your family will be manageable.

That's why this problem is still uppermost in your mind then - because it is still going on today. If you could work out a way to not see her - visiting him elsewhere or when she is out, this problem would go away.