In December, 2014 I found the inappropriate emails and dating ads he was sending. I found marriage builders in late January 2015. I introduced MB to my husband in February.

I started Plan A back in late February. I did it for maybe 3 weeks.

I don't think I gave it my all during the first time in Plan A.

While I was doing Plan A in late February, I continued to look into all the past credit card bills and email accounts and other avenues searching for answers because I felt there was more than what my husband revealed to me in December, 2014. While searching through the credit card bills and past emails, I discovered some things that my husband did not reveal to me in December, 2014.

In early March, I gave my husband a list of 30 questions to answer regarding some facts I knew. Based on his answers, some were the truth and some were not.

I don't feel I handled my first attempt at Plan A the correct way. Am I wrong? While in plan A, should I have been looking into the past when Plan A is suppose to move us forward?

Plan A time is done. All Plan A means is that you offer to meet his needs in the marriage if he cooperates in a plan of recovery. That is all it is.

Now would be the time to show him what it will take for recovery, starting with taking a polygraph. If he won't cooperate, then you should make plans to separate and go into Plan B.

Yes, you were supposed to look into his past because he was not telling you the truth. This is critical information about your life and you should always snoop on him. You have a right to look at everything, his emails, credit card bills, everything.

There is NO stage in Marriage Builders that excludes snooping. Snooping is good for your marriage.

You need to get it straight in you mind that you will ALWAYS have to snoop on this man. Like ML said, in a MB Marriage snooping is ALWAYS acceptable and suggested by Dr. Harley. You also must snoop secretively from your H. If he discovers a snooping method then you need to find something else and like Melody once told me, "You must become a better snooper". My H (soon to be XH) didn't appreciate the comment nor did he like me snooping. Why do you think that was? Because he was having an EA that he was hiding and if I snooped I was going to uncover it. DO NOT feel guilty for snooping...it's a necessity and will be for eternity if both of you are willing to recover. You might decide it is too much of an emotional burden to bear and that is why Plan B is effective to protect your emotional state.