Last year in July I left my husband amid false rumours of his cheating and moved in with my gay male friend. Husband was very hurt, and we barely saw each other or talked for about 2 months. We lost the house we were renting. He wanted a dissolution, and I didn't because I realized my mistake. In October my husband showed up in the middle of the night crying, saying he loves me, doesn't want to end our marriage and that he forgives me.
We got back together that night. We saw each other as much and as often as we could and dispite being homeless and living apart with different friends our marriage was continuing to get stronger. We were making plans to completely reconcile our marriage and move back in together. In March he moved in with friends I'd never met;a married couple with two little girls. I found out the end of April that By the middle of March they had broken up and she and my husband were together. All this time he had been telling me he loves me,and we'll be getting our place soon. I have always loved my husband and always have told him I do. Our intimate life has always been off the charts amazing.
I found out about him and ow though a mutual friend, and confronted him via phone immediately, I found out it was true.when I asked him when he was going to tell me, he said soon.
He had said ow loves and respects him, but never once had he told me he loves her.
I know we still love each other and I want to fight for and restore our 22 year marriage. I just don't know how to or how to get him to leave her, get our place and restore our marriage. I pray for us and our marriage all the time.
I don't know why he left me, he hasn't told me. What can I do to get my husband and our marriage back? I really want to confront ow. Should I? Please help me. He's coming over today, work related. Saturday we are picking up some of our stuff from a friends and putting it in our separate storage units.

Welcome to MB. I am sorry to hear about these events in your marriage.

Could you explain about the "Ss" in your signature, please? How do you come to have a stepson, if you've been married that long?

Married 22years
H-43
Me-49
Ow-35
D-21
S-20
Ss-10

Why are you convinced the rumors of your WH cheating prior to this OW are false? For him to move in with this couple and he's banging the OW in about two weeks, I would suspect the cheating rumors are correct. Either he was cheating with this OW all along or with another. Sorry but I do not buy his story. If he loved you and wanted to leave OW, he would leave but he hasn't.

Have you been in contact with the OW's BH? Did the BH move out? If so, if he moved back in he could kick your WH out.

Welcome to MB

He had a 1 month affair that is how I have a ss. Dont know how to find her h. Know their first and last names. According to het Facebook her h cheated on her. Don't understand how she can do this to another woman, after it was done to her...
Do I confront her? Should I ask him why he left and why he ended our marriage?

I suspected as much.

That, and the current affair, make him a serial cheater. There have probably been other affairs. Are you aware of any?

black_raven's points are also important. In fact, it sounds to me as if he could have been in a swinging affair with this couple. If it was a routine affair, her husband would never have let him move in. I also wonder about the paternity of their children.

You need to contact the husband who moved out, and get more information about this "affair" and when it started. Can you contact him at work? You must not forewarn your husband or OW.

I think that first, you find out all you can about your husband's past, and then make a decision about whether and why you would stay with him at all. Don't ask him about the past or the current affair; he will simply lie to you. Get in touch with OWH. Most of us on this forum contacted the other person's spouse, and most of us only had a name to begin with. I tracked down OW in my marriage in about 5 minutes on the Internet, and she lives in another country and has an incredibly common first and surname.

Do some searching to find this man. What does the online electoral register tell you about the occupants of the house?

What do you know about the woman who is the mother of his OC? Are they still in touch with each other?

What do your grown-up children know about their father's affairs?

Well given that he is a serial cheater, I honestly would not bother with Recovery. Adultery is a way of life for serial cheaters. As S_C said, there are likely other affairs you don't know about. Sorry but I would cut your losses.

I have no way to contact her h, only his name. Never met either of them. I seriously doubt my h would give me his information.
There are only the two affairs that is know of.

Have you had affairs?

It is suspicious that you moved out to live with a 'gay male friend.' Did your WH suspect more?

He co-parents with of mother and he can't stand her.
Our adult children do know about her. Our son and ss live with them. Daughter is living with her bf and their child.

H was abandoned by birth mother,grew up in foster care, was later adopted and was never treated right by them. I am the only one who has loved him unconditionally and been there for him.

I have never cheated on h, I am faithful to him.

You should be able to find the husband if you have his name and address. Have you looked? I agree with sugarcane that there is more to the story than you know.

I would also throw your attention into becoming self sufficient. The fact that you are in your 40's and are homeless is very alarming. Do you have an occupation? Do you work?

You can if you want but OW is not the problem here. Your WH is the problem. That your own son moved into the OW2(?)'s house as well is disturbing. Why isn't SS10 living with his mother?

Your son and your ss live with whom?

They live with h and ow
Omg,she's on my sons Facebook friends list.

Tried all suggested ways to find ow h and couldn't find him.

Ss doesn't life with his mother because she can't control him

The funny thing is the last thing he bought me was sexy undies.
Current ow is studying to be a pastor and is studying pastoral counseling.

I don't understand why this bothers you. Your son lives with her.

Good luck to you.

I am employed at Wal-Mart work 32-40 hours weekly, ironically I started the same week I found out about ow.

Why does YOUR son live with OW? And why wouldn't she be on his FB list, if he lives with her? Why does that surprise you?

What shocks me is the chaotic life you and your children appear to have been living. Why isn't your son with you? You said you are homeless. Where do you sleep tonight?

And please be a bit more resourceful and controlled. If your son lives in OW's house, he knows her husband's name and probably where he lives and works. He can help you get in touch with him.

Can you see OWH as a friend on OW's FB?