I'm not promoting it or spamming. I'm just curious if anyone is familiar with Athol Kay's program and a critique of it.

I'm not into it myself, but I have a BIL who has followed it somewhat for a while. My only exposure has been limited reading of the site and forum last year. Of course that site alone can only give a one sided opinion. Some of the topics seem intuitive - make yourself as attractive as possible. But others seemed somewhat manipulative, at least at first glance.

I am somewhat familiar with it. I believe he and his wife probably have a happy marriage, but a lot of what he recommends would be considered by most wives to be demanding or disrespectful. I know that a lot of his recommendations would make my marriage worse, not better.

One thing I saw that disturbed me was that when he consults with a couple he always tells them "I can see you love each other," just to make them feel good. I think that's terribly misguided. It comes from a pop psychology idea that what married people really need is to tell each other they love each other - it completely ignores the reality that in order to be happy in marriage, a husband and wife have to have their emotional needs met by each other. It's love in word, rather than love in deed, as Marriage Builders shows how to do.

I think Dr. Harley has a lot more experience in this area and a much better proven track record.

Opinion1: this should be moved to the Other Topics Forum.
Opinion 2: Even though Athol makes some decent points but game playing does not build a win- win outcome.

It might work as a roadmap or crucible for keeping each other off balance, in a marriage where openness, and honesty are lacking... Even if the chase is exciting, it Does not create safety.

The goal in marriage should be SPECIFIC need meeting and not game playing. Not ALL females or males are the same, especially after years of marriage.

There's some decent enough advice. Sexual exclusivity, making sure you meet PA and FS needs etc.. but it's pretty basic common sense level stuff that will only help a man who is behaving in an extremely entitled way towards sex and sexual outlets. However they only counsel against 'extremely high' porn use, rather than advising on eliminating it.

Dr H works at a much higher level of knowledge. I cannot imagine Dr Harley having a website where a half naked woman is on the welcome page because he understands contrast effect.

The stuff about targeting a woman at a certain stage in her cycle is very disrespectful. It would be far better to PoJA and ask a woman about her preferences - all the women I know have vastly different reactions to their cycle. Besides, the biggest effect on female libido is their level of romantic love not their cycle.

All in all I think he is poking at things with sticks and has gotten a few of the more obvious problems right.

Exactly. It's great and important to improve your attractiveness (rating? yuck!!) and good to improve your masculinity/femininity, but the whole concept supports renter mentality. And I have read his book.