My partner of 14 years will discuss our relationship with my family members and others. I feel humiliated by this and have asked him not to discuss our relationship with others. His comments are in the vein of, "We are always fighting. We have lots of issues. Etc." I feel so disrespected and maligned. He thinks that it is O.K. to do this. Any feedback out there.

Could you please answer our questions from your first thread that you abandoned?

Have you read about POJA?

Have you read this?

Living Together Before Marriage: Compatibility Test or Curse?

Have you thought about emailing Dr Harley?


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I did answer all the questions from my original post. Did I miss one?

Yes. I did read the section on living together.

Yes. I have read the POJA. My partner feels that it doesn't apply in this case. He thinks that he needs to have a place to vent when he thinks that I am not listening.

Bat I am puzzled as to why you remain in a relationship that provides you with zero levels of extraordinary care. Your bf vents to you to others because their opinion is more important than yours. He makes rules about *his* car - because he hasn't legally provided you with his possessions. It is his car! Also, it is more important than you. It is his, you are not.

If you were married he'd be well aware that one phone call to a divorce lawyer and his car is half yours. Along with everything else. You may be financially benefitting from cohabition - but he isn't! None of the monetary gain you are reaping is legally his.

So there is no motivation to work on the relationship whatsoever. If you lived apart (as Dr H counsels unmarried people to do) just how often do you think you would see him? Are you important enough for him to schedule time for you? I doubt it somehow.

I wouldn't stay in a marriage where my opinion was as disregarded as yours is. With his attitude, he could find a new gf tomorrow. He does just as he pleases.

So walk out You can do that without having to pay for a divorce - so do it.

What is your question?