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WE can move forward when you admit and accept that this is not an affair and you are not married. That is the crux of the problem. Your relationship is not a commitment that protects you from other relationships. Your boyfriend is a free agent and is free to marry others. In his mind and the mind of his family and me we are married. It was difficult with his family at first because they are very rich and I was lower middle class professional. This gesture was what made them trust and accept me into the fold. He and I and our son and his family and our family and friends all consider we are married. So the question of contact. You are saying he will keep the contact going like someone addicted to cigarettes and drugs.
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You are saying he will keep the contact going like someone addicted to cigarettes and drugs. Jenni, what Marriage Builders materials have you read? Which articles on this site?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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I have read Plan A, Plan B, stopping love busters, emotional needs. I am trying to concentrate on attracting him back and have gotten far with stopping love busters. And I am also focusing on myself, and have lost 20 lb in the last 2 months working out in the gym.
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Your relationship is not a commitment that protects you from other relationships. Your boyfriend is a free agent and is free to marry others.
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What Marriage Builders books do you have?
Are you listening to the Marriage Builders Radio show, daily?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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[
In his mind and the mind of his family and me we are married. But you are not married.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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In his mind and the mind of his family and me we are married. But ... you're not. He could marry the other woman tonight if he wanted.
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It's a great thing that sis-in-law can't stand this OW. She thinks OW is after his money, unlike me. You won't be a threat because you are not married.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I also got a new job in this small firm in the same technical field as his company and my boss the CEO, Simon, is great. I am trying to kind of use Simon a bit to make Paul (that's my guy) feel slightly jealous, though there is nothing there in reality.
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I also got a new job in this small firm in the same technical field as his company and my boss the CEO, Simon, is great. I am trying to kind of use Simon a bit to make Paul (that's my guy) feel slightly jealous, though there is nothing there in reality. You saw that suggested in Marriage Builders?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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What Marriage Builders books do you have?
Are you listening to the Marriage Builders Radio show, daily? I have His Needs Her Needs and Love Busters. Where can I access the radio show from? I have seen the YouTube videos on this site.
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I also got a new job in this small firm in the same technical field as his company and my boss the CEO, Simon, is great. I am trying to kind of use Simon a bit to make Paul (that's my guy) feel slightly jealous, though there is nothing there in reality. 
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If he married the new girlfriend, she would have access to his money. The sister in law probably doesn't want that to happen.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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What Marriage Builders books do you have?
Are you listening to the Marriage Builders Radio show, daily? I have His Needs Her Needs and Love Busters. Another great one to get is Buyers, Renters, and Freeloaders. There is a lot of Marriage Builders material in that book that is not in the other two. Where can I access the radio show from? I have seen the YouTube videos on this site. There is an app you can download to listen to the show on your phone or tablet, or you can listen on your computer. Here is the radio show page: http://www.marriagebuilders.com//graphic/mbi4200_radio.html
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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I also got a new job in this small firm in the same technical field as his company and my boss the CEO, Simon, is great. I am trying to kind of use Simon a bit to make Paul (that's my guy) feel slightly jealous, though there is nothing there in reality. You saw that suggested in Marriage Builders? It seems to be working, at least in attracting his attention and distracting him from being obsessed with the OW. The weight loss and that combined, he's suddenly looking at me as if I am a different and interesting person. Will that work? It makes me more attractive and interesting in his eyes, I think. Suddenly we have more things in common to discuss. It's the same field the OW was working in. So I am replacing part of the emotional needs and recreational needs that she was filling, right?
Last edited by jenni19; 06/19/15 10:19 PM.
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No. It is highschool behavior, and no where near the foundation for a healthy, strong relationship.
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I also got a new job in this small firm in the same technical field as his company and my boss the CEO, Simon, is great. I am trying to kind of use Simon a bit to make Paul (that's my guy) feel slightly jealous, though there is nothing there in reality. You saw that suggested in Marriage Builders? It seems to be working, at least in attracting his attention and distracting him from being obsessed with the OW. Where did you see it suggested?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Jenni, are you 19 years old?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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No. It is highschool behavior, and no where near the foundation for a healthy, strong relationship. But the weight loss, the exciting new job, my new friends, and commons subject matter to talk about... that all seems to be working well . I am hoping the new things will distract him from the OW and I think they are.
Last edited by jenni19; 06/19/15 10:23 PM.
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No, I am 44. Paul is 43. and the OW is 42. We met in Uni and have been together since he was 19 and I was 20.
Last edited by jenni19; 06/19/15 10:25 PM.
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