Although Dr. Harley's advice did not suggest that exhausting all means to obtain evidence now was imperative or urgent, to answer your question I will call the police dept today and ask for a copy of the report.

I will be very surprised if it is accessible, but Melody I respect your kind advice and will see if it is.

basically telling them you would be delaying your happiness and marriage until they were out of the house.

And then having your DD move in with your ex?

And then not even protect her and your other DD (and their friends for that matter) by getting that police report.
I don't think you are thinking clearly.

Although you did not correct Dr. Harley's wrong assumption about proof, I hope that you do follow through and get the report. I have no doubt Dr Harley assumed, like I did, that there was no proof and no way to get it. There is no reason to delay telling your daughters.

Sunny,

At the end of the day, you are jumping into one marriage when the last one isn't even cold.

You are NOT putting your children as a priority, despite telling yourself otherwise. You talk about all your children like they are grown adults with their own lives, but they are NOT. They are teenagers, not adults, right? But you treat them like adults because it suits YOUR goal.

They are being forced to suck up and deal with this. You don't want to slow do or stop this, and nothing they say or do will change that.

Enough already, I can't even. This thread is all about you and what you want. You only see and read what you want.

Dr. Harley specifically said not to marry him and to let your kids heal. That isn't this, no matter how much you twist it to suit your goal.

Good luck to you, Sunny. Out of the pan and into the fire. The reason everyone here is "mean" is because you are talking like a selfish 12 yo with a crush, when you are a grown woman barely divorced with kids. Knock it off already and start using your head!

Dr. Harley has spoken quite clearly on this and I am following his advice which was provided personally to me, based on the specifics of my situation, on this matter.

will follow Melody's suggestion and place a call to the PD, although Dr. Harley did not express that it was urgent/imperative for me to exhaust all resources to obtain proof.

ITA.

If you were to tell Dr Harley that after getting his advice, you had a conversation with your DD that ended in her tellin you she was going to go live with her dad but that, no really, she is thrilled with your new marriage and this has nothing to do with that - he is going to reiterate his advice to you to not to get married, and he will probably emphasize the fact that you need to focus on your relationship with your DD.

I know this because I have had my own communications with Dr Harley regarding my 19 yr old DD. He is very much (as you have already seen from his advice to you) an advocate on keeping a close intact relationship even with teen and almost grown children. He would be alarmed that your DD now wants to move out. I can guarantee it.

If you don't slow down and start thinking clearly, you are going to end up damaging your relationship with your kids, damaging them and also with a troubled 2nd marriage.

You are just telling yourself people are "mean" because you don't want to hear it.

"Regarding your ex-husband's situation, what evidence do you have that he did this? Did the girl tell you about it? Unless there is proof beyond your husband�s admission (which he could now deny), I wouldn�t mention it to the girls. I would, however, encourage your husband to tell the girls about it, so that they don�t hear it from someone else years from now. He probably won�t tell them, and a few years from now, you might tell them yourself. But I wouldn�t worry about the effect that it would have on the girls if they were to find out about it. My perspective on truth is that as painful as it is sometimes, it�s always worth having."

This is quite a pile up based on something I never said.

There is a police report but I DON'T HAVE IT. Never did. I have never read it.

His attorneys even told him that he could not talk to me about what happened in case the police question me but he told me "everything" - what he said was everything, anyway. They told me that to save his tail from jail I had to stay out of it.

Now, I wish I had requested a copy of that report. I don't know if they would even have a 15 year old report or if they would give it to me because it references a minor. I don't know.

There IS a police report out there - or was. In answer to Dr. Harley's question - how do I know for sure - I know for sure because of police involvement and because of the money I had to spend on attorneys. He could simply deny it because I currently have NOTHING to show for my allegations other than his knowledge that I am telling the truth.

Contrary to all of your pile-ons, Dr. Harley did not express the repulsed urgency that you all have expressed. While I know it happened, I don't have any evidence to prove to anyone that it did.

I will follow Dr. Harley's advice on the matter.

Let's be honest. He did not speak "clearly" because you left him with a wrong assumption. You can't say he spoke clearly when you didn't give him all the facts. You let him wrongly assume that there was no proof leading him to give advice based on that wrong information.

Why would Dr Harley say any such thing if was under the impression that there was no evidence available? His advice was given on the basis of a FALSE ASSUMPTION that you did not bother to correct until prompted here.

They told me that to save his tail from jail I had to stay out of it.

Your post assumes a lot.

When your husband kisses a nude teen, don't save his tail from jail.

I don't know if they would even have a 15 year old report or if they would give it to me because it references a minor. I don't know.

"Unless there is proof I wouldn't mention it to the girls...." There actually IS proof, so he advised that you tell the girls. Did you read this, Sunny?

We have been over that at long length Markos.

I can't change anything that happened 15 years ago. I sought MB advice at the time, even and wasn't advised anything like what MB advises today.

"Unless there is proof I wouldn't mention it to the girls...." There actually IS proof, so he advised that you tell the girls. Did you read this, Sunny?

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"Unless there is proof I wouldn't mention it to the girls...." There actually IS proof, so he advised that you tell the girls. Did you read this, Sunny?

Great, so let's talk about what MB advises today for your daughter who wants to move in with her father who kissed a nude underage girl.

When will you be finding out about that police report?