Infatuation is the same as falling in love.

Always refer to the dictionary for word meanings!

Well - that's a matter of definition, isn't it? And that will vary, depending on who is doing the defining, and for what purpose.

I have never heard Dr H use the term "infatuation", or try to define the difference between that and romantic love. He uses the term romantic love, which he does define, and he tries to make romantic love last a lifetime.

I do see what you are trying to get at, but I think you're trying too hard to define specific stages. Dr H doesn't really do that, to my knowledge.

The term 'infatuation" has rather pejorative overtones, I think. People seem to use to for the very purpose of dismissing certain feelings. They use it to describe feelings that, in this view, cannot possibly last. The argument is that if you take life-changing decisions when you are in the infatuation stage, you will come to regret them, because your feelings will wear off and you will be stuck with someone you don't love at all - you might not even like them very much.

I've never heard Dr H talk about that with respect to getting married. He gives advice on how to choose a future spouse, and the willingness to POJA is the most important criterion that we can use to predict the likelihood of success.

Having your feelings wear off is not to be confused with finding out that your spouse is a mass murderer. You need to know as much as you can about your future spouse's history.

But Dr Harley is very much against the idea that our feelings must wear off. The goal of MB is to stop them wearing off, and to keep in-love feelings alive.

Interestingly an illogical relationship also has less chance of lasting.

CS Lewis calls Eros the most powerful, but most dangerous love. I would agree. Read The Four Loves if you have not. Actually, read everything you can by CS Lewis.