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DBack, can you ask your wife to come by and post and introduce herself? She doesn't have to commit to doing Marriage Builders, but we'd like to meet her and get a chance to hear her perspective. In particular anything she can tell us about how your marriage could be better, tell her we can help coach you on those if she'll share them with us. If she has any complaints about your marriage she can share them with us and we can help you work on it.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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She might, not sure.
But only if the mods will nuke most or all of this thread and we can start fresh. Several of my early posts were partly my imagination worrying about things (including the title of this thread), and given that at the time those posts were made in the context of an anonymous board, I'm not going to intentionally dredge that up with her.
Last edited by DBack; 06/23/15 01:55 PM.
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She might, not sure.
But only if the mods will nuke most or all of this thread and we can start fresh. Several of my early posts were partly my imagination worrying about things (including the title of this thread), and given that at the time those posts were made in the context of an anonymous board, I'm not going to intentionally dredge that up with her. C'mon, DBack - don't be such a conflict avoider!  Marriages can easily survive mistaken allegations. Last year my wife saw a couple of warning signs that I might be starting an extramarital relationship. She snooped like crazy and confirmed that I was not. There were absolutely no repercussions - we are still happily married. Rip that band aid off, get past it, and get this program put into practice.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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She might, not sure.
But only if the mods will nuke most or all of this thread and we can start fresh. Several of my early posts were partly my imagination worrying about things (including the title of this thread), and given that at the time those posts were made in the context of an anonymous board, I'm not going to intentionally dredge that up with her. We do so much better in life when we acknowledge and reveal our mistakes, rather than trying to hide for them! Why would you want to be less than radically honest with your wife? Reveal to her as much as you know about yourself.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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"Rip that band aid off, get past it, and get this program put into practice."
I'm doing that third part already. We did the EN quiz together and she said she would read HNHN after I do.
But no, I've made the mistake of saying things that I didn't mean or shouldn't have said in the past or even just failed to defend her enough against things other people had said about her - and when she found out the level hurt was in the "unrepeatable" range.
At this point its a distraction from my primary goal, which is proceeding nicely.
Last edited by DBack; 06/23/15 02:08 PM.
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Hiding things from your wife does not bode well for you.
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I'm doing that third part already. No, you're not. Radical Honesty is an essential part of the program.
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"Rip that band aid off, get past it, and get this program put into practice."
I'm doing that third part already. We did the EN quiz together and she said she would read HNHN after I do.
But no, I've made the mistake of saying things that I didn't mean or shouldn't have said in the past or even just failed to defend her enough against things other people had said about her - and when she found out the level hurt was in the "unrepeatable" range.
At this point its a distraction from my primary goal, which is proceeding nicely. Let her know about your mistakes! Be radically honest!
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Actually, on second thought,
If the problem here is that your wife has angry outbursts at the suggestion that she might be having an affair,
then I suspect that the problem is that she is having an affair.
Has this been a repeating theme?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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So I talked to her about it and gave her the option to ask questions, come on here, etc. She doesn't want to know about it. And she wants to seek advice together.
So I probably won't be here that much in the future.
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