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If only she would open up to me and see that change can happen. Ron, this is normal. Almost everybody here who saved their marriage started with a spouse who did not believe that the marriage could be saved. Her feelings will change after the affair dies and no contact is established, and after you have made enough love bank deposits to change her feelings toward you. Be sure to expose this affair to everyone who counts, especially your children. Exposure speeds up whatever is going to happen. Be sure also to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, daily. You need to learn everything you can about Marriage Builders in order to use its tools effectively and save your marriage. Don't wait for your wife to decide change is possible. Start now.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Ahh, my wife just texted me and want to give permision to let her phone and tablet off my plan. I fell like i am in a losing battle.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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Its hard to feel like everything i do is in vain. I have told my family, elders in the church, her family i cant get ahold of off, told the OM father, my friends, i am woundering if i should tell the head lady at a church food bank she is close too were she volunteers.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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**EDIT**
Last edited by Denali; 07/07/15 02:57 PM. Reason: TOS non MB advice
I am going out of town for work.
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Please read my message I posted on this page.
Last edited by WonderingHow; 07/07/15 02:05 PM.
I am going out of town for work.
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She has a relationship outside of are marrage. I dont have many friends and most are older and married.
As far as i can tell between her and the OM its been talking and holding each other. I dont thing its gone beyond that, but she has put it out there that he can take advantage of her.
I been trying to keep things a person to person talk, she been trying to do it all by texts and been deflecting with can we talk about together.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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Ron, your pastor is naive about how to end an affair. Exposure was absolutely the way to go, and still is. Sometimes good people fall back on concepts of respecting their cheating spouse's privacy and they don't want to snoop. You did well finding your wife's notebook and following the advice here to make a copy of it.
You also did well with your exposure and if more targets pop up, should continue with exposure.
Nobody has mentioned this yet: Do not tell your wife about this website. It is your secret weapon.
Belle, Domestic Goddess
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Last night i talked to the head lady at the food bank she volunteers at and is pretty clost to my wife.
Today i finally heard back from my her dad, so i'll call him tonight.
When should i sit down with her and tell her what i know and when should i put on FB
Yep i made copies of everything i found, all the letters and text messages.
Right know i am trying to spend as much time with her and the kids, and make breakfast and coffee. And get the kids going. Since she working at night i try to make sure the apt is clean and picked up.
No i have not told her about this website or forum.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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I cant believe it on her FB she posted with a reposted photo "lol...Oh how i miss you my love!!"
Getting more careless i guess
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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I have to thank you all, i been reading other people posts and listening the MB radio.
I was starting to feel depressed and running into walls, but know i feel encouraged seeing how others worse off than me have brought there marriages back together.
I pray Ill be one of those happy stories too, I cant help but get emotional right now.
night
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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See your doctor for anti depressants.
You don't have to discuss exposure at all.
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Wow, i am going to be on MB Radio. Joyce Harley said thy will call on monday the 13. How long does it take before it airs? Are anti depressants really necessary? See your doctor for anti depressants.
You don't have to discuss exposure at all.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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That afternoon.
Yes, ADs are a great tool to get you through this time.
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You said you are depressed. ADs can help you be more resilient while you Plan A.
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Yes, but depression is nothing thats sticks around long.
For me everyday is a new day and the negative feelings today dont really follow into the next day.
Praying and keeping God in the for front is what keeps my spirits up and and strength for the next day.
Its one day at a time.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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You have not drug your feet the way many of the failed MBers did (I was guilty of not exposing). Some Betrayed's need 2 x 4s over the heads before they take that step. Good luck! Your kids will be so much better off because you are fighting for their family.
Belle, Domestic Goddess
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what do i need to do to get this OM from seeing my wife? she left this evening and it looks from tracking the phone she is on a walk with him. i have talked to his father and the OM keeps telling him nothings going on. I really need to break them up for good.
The Church has proven to be worthless on this matter.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Posts: 20,469 Likes: 4
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Posts: 20,469 Likes: 4 |
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Ok them, tomorrow I am paying a visit to the OM and tell him I care about my wife and to leave her alone. And I know about there affair.
this will be intresting, oh I am taking my brother as a witnesses just incase.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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