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Lovestarr6, have you read the info available here about Plan B? Did you send your husband a loving Plan B letter after you thoroughly exposed?
After doing those two things (exposure and Plan B letter), then you need to totally block any access that he has to you...and also any access that you have to him.
This must include your Facebook...if you are seeing details about him in your feed, then you need to remove those friends from your Facebook. Honestly, if they are still talking with him about plans, ignoring his behavior (accepting it), and not supporting you...then you don't want them as friends anyway, right?
I'm sorry for this pain. I didn't have to Plan B, but many others here did, and the beginning is the worst. Once you are totally dark for a couple of weeks, you will gradually start to feel better. BUT...each time that you see or hear news of him, it feels horrible again...so you definitely want to close up all of those gaps today.
Have you changed your phone number and email? I did the plan b letter. I have read a lot. I'm sure this is normal, but I feel my case is different that what I've been reading. He still hasn't admitted his cheating, or EA. He blames me.... He was nice to me two weeks ago, and then when he turns cold everyone on the form said to go into a real plan B, so I did. We have been separated now for a most 2 months, I feel he loves his new freedom. There is no real benifit of getting me back, so why would he. What are the child support arrangements?
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I feel like there is no more hope. I feel like I messed up. By talking to people who didn't have my best interest at heart. Now I feel my whole marriage is gone. How can I help myself get over this pain? My husband is already out talking to different women, someone told me to check to see if we were still married. It was an old fling of his. She messaged me to check before we wrote back. I feel like I am loosing myself. The purpose of Plan B is not to save your marriage but to save you. You should not know any of these things. If you haven't changed your details and if you are able to hear gossip about your H you are not in Plan B. If he were to die or win th lottery, you shouldn't know about it! If you haven't changed your phone number then he is either free to call - or you know that he is not calling. That is not Plan B. Soon he is going to test the waters that you are still on his backburner and it will likely be a very painful experience - like flaunting women under your nose. If you stay in Plan C (the plan most likely to lead to divorce) you can expect to waste away and possibly suffer a nervous breakdown. Even if his affair were to die a natural death you would not be an attractive option. If you enter Plan B, no matter what happens with his affairs, you will be healed and out of pain in any case.
Last edited by indiegirl; 07/11/15 01:41 AM.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Plan B involves not thinking about your husband. So remove any and all reminders. Particularly new information about his life.
Plan B is about making an amazing life for yourself - an attractive life. Interested?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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] , but I feel my case is different that what I've been reading. He still hasn't admitted his cheating, or EA. He blames me.... He was nice to me two weeks ago, and then when he turns cold everyone on the form said to go into a real plan B, so I did. We have been separated now for a most 2 months, I feel he loves his new freedom. There is no real benifit of getting me back, so why would he. No he sounds textbook. But the plan isn't about him anyways, it's about saving you. Your heartcrushing pain is very much like every other betrayed spoueses, right?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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His mother, his sister and all mutual friends.
Last edited by Lovestarr6; 07/11/15 11:39 AM.
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His mother, his sister and all mutual friends. His mother? No Brainhurts asked who did you expose the other woman to? Did you expose to her family and friends? Exposed her online? Did you expose to your own family too?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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His mother, his sister and all mutual friends. His mother? No Brainhurts asked who did you expose the other woman to? Did you expose to her family and friends? Exposed her online? Did you expose to your own family too? Thank you Indie for explaining. Lovestarr6, Who all did you expose to? Who on OW's side did you expose to? Who on your WH's side did you expose to? Who on your side did you expose to?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Is he supporting your child?
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There were more than one girl he was talking with. None of which I could find except on Instagram. All profiles were private and they wouldn't add me. So all I have is their Instagram names, and email address of the one he met up with. I have no idea how he met these women, maybe from the dating sites he is on. So exposure was only on our side. Be also only talked to them in email or a texting app.
Oh his side, his mom, sister and friends know
My side everyone knows because i had a public panic attack at my cousin's graduation party. So my grandma told everyone.
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He gets ojt son every other week for the whole week. This is how we do it until I start working full time.
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] , but I feel my case is different that what I've been reading. He still hasn't admitted his cheating, or EA. He blames me.... He was nice to me two weeks ago, and then when he turns cold everyone on the form said to go into a real plan B, so I did. We have been separated now for a most 2 months, I feel he loves his new freedom. There is no real benifit of getting me back, so why would he. No he sounds textbook. But the plan isn't about him anyways, it's about saving you. Your heartcrushing pain is very much like every other betrayed spoueses, right? You're right. I guess what I am saying is I haven't read anyone on the formMs story where they don't live in a home with their spouse, so I really didn't leave our home, but his parents. To me he has no need to fix thibgs because we don't have anything together but our son and bills since we were in transition. It seems easier for him to not wake up and get out the fog. The only thing is gone is me, which he describes as a nagging, wide who didn't give him sex when he wanted and who opened her mouth to "his business"
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We don't have any. Since we have him equal amounts of time.// is that the wrong thing to do?
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I asked because I wanted to be sure you weren't suffering financially unnecessarily.
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Going a very dark plan B will help you. If someone was beating you, you would get away. The same principles apply for emotional beatings.
Did you do something good for yourself today?
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I asked because I wanted to be sure you weren't suffering financially unnecessarily. So far I am good. I had a nice size savings when I left, and I also transferred half of our bank account to my account before stuff hit the fan. I am praying I get this job this month. All signs are pointing to that I will.
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Going a very dark plan B will help you. If someone was beating you, you would get away. The same principles apply for emotional beatings.
Did you do something good for yourself today? You're right. I went to church today. And I've been praying that God help me to forgive myself. I really blamed myself for exposing his actions to others, as well as not being the best wife. I was blaming myself, which I'm sure is normal. Like if I have him sex more regular maybe we wouldn't be separated, but the truth is he's been a serial emotional affair person since we were married. Only God can change him now
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Going a very dark plan B will help you. If someone was beating you, you would get away. The same principles apply for emotional beatings.
Did you do something good for yourself today? You're right. I went to church today. And I've been praying that God help me to forgive myself. I really blamed myself for exposing his actions to others, as well as not being the best wife. I was blaming myself, which I'm sure is normal. Like if I have him sex more regular maybe we wouldn't be separated, but the truth is he's been a serial emotional affair person since we were married. Only God can change him now You couldn't possibly have had sex in such an abusive environment. It would have created a sexual aversion and given you panic attacks with each attempt. You are a wife whose desire is to be coaxed, not a hooker.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Yea and I knew inside that something wasn't right. He stopped wanting to do anything with me, even as a family. And no one feels sexy when sex is all about his needs and not mine. I am starting to really dislike him! Some girl messaged me that he's been talking to her telling her we are divorced, and asking to take her out. This is so much to deal with. I know he's a cheater. I'm just mad at myself of marrying him, when I knew how he was. I just thought when you got married you wouldn't cheat or leave your family.
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Yea and I knew inside that something wasn't right. He stopped wanting to do anything with me, even as a family. And no one feels sexy when sex is all about his needs and not mine. I am starting to really dislike him! Some girl messaged me that he's been talking to her telling her we are divorced, and asking to take her out. This is so much to deal with. I know he's a cheater. I'm just mad at myself of marrying him, when I knew how he was. I just thought when you got married you wouldn't cheat or leave your family. Thankfully that woman exposed him for his attempted adultery.
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True... He's acting like a single man fresh out of their parent's home! Bachelor time I guess
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