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He asked me not to install spyware on one device That's the device I would get spyware on ASAP, without his knowledge. Prisca, he's been watching porn since before I knew him. Although he admitted he wasn't a fan of it back then. Usually around the time I give birth to our babies he increases the amount of times he's watching it. Im positive this is due to me not being able to meet his sf need since during that time I'm healing from a csection. our youngest turned 1 in May and this time around he didn't ever stop watching it. I would say 18 months is about how long he's been looking at porn with no breaks. This concerns me. I wouldn't trust him when he says he'll quit. You need to watch him and make sure he actually does.
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He asked me not to install spyware on one device Don't tell him when you install spyware there. 
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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It is very alarming that he would not want you to have spyware on one device. That sends up all kinds of red flags. What is he hiding? You need to find out.
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It is very alarming that he would not want you to have spyware on one device. That sends up all kinds of red flags. What is he hiding? You need to find out. Just agree with him and install it anyway.
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I think his issue was that he didn't want it to ruin his device? I honestly know nothing about spyware... what's the best out there?
D-day 5/29/2010
FWW-29
BH- 31
3 beautiful sons (6,3 & 1)
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What kind of device is it?
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He has an android Samsung s4 and Samsung tablet of some sort. Not worried about the computer so much since that's easy to figure out.
D-day 5/29/2010
FWW-29
BH- 31
3 beautiful sons (6,3 & 1)
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He mostly uses his phone for watching the porn. Not quite sure if the window opened today was from yesterday or today. His history is swiped clear of the porn sites.
D-day 5/29/2010
FWW-29
BH- 31
3 beautiful sons (6,3 & 1)
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Thinking teensafe may be the easiest route?
D-day 5/29/2010
FWW-29
BH- 31
3 beautiful sons (6,3 & 1)
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If he knows about the spyware, then it is not going to do the job for you.
It must be installed secretly and work in stealth mode.
LTL
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Well he found the teensafe app. He's pissed. Says that its messing with his phone and he didnt agree to it. He routed his phone so he thinks anything I install will ruin it. He also offered to find me an alternative program he's ok with. I refuse to discuss it in front of the kids because he cant keep calm.
D-day 5/29/2010
FWW-29
BH- 31
3 beautiful sons (6,3 & 1)
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He's planning to carry on under your radar. I'd separate. He simply isn't taking you seriously and thinks surface pandering will do.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Well he found the teensafe app. He's pissed.  He should care about making you feel safe more than he cares about the device being ruined. The fact that he isn't more worried about your feelings is alarming. Essentially, he has a secret second life on that phone, and he's not safe as long as he will not allow accountability.
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He also offered to find me an alternative program he's ok with. You cannot trust any program he finds. If he's aware of the spyware, he can get around it. Markos once put a keylogger on my computer, and I found it. I was then able to easily work around it.
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Sounds like a dumb phone is the only option.
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Are you sure guys? I mean he's spent a LOT of time making sure his phone is rooted and deleting programs from it. I remember acting the same pissy way when he said he wanted access to all my email/txt/bank accounts. I didnt have another affair, just showed anger. Isn't it normal to react that way? He's been having twice as many AO'S today, is that normal? I really wasn't the one researching what a WS acts like so I'm genuinely asking these questions with no idea of what I should expect.
D-day 5/29/2010
FWW-29
BH- 31
3 beautiful sons (6,3 & 1)
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What is he doing about his AOs?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Are you sure guys? I mean he's spent a LOT of time making sure his phone is rooted and deleting programs from it. I remember acting the same pissy way when he said he wanted access to all my email/txt/bank accounts. I didnt have another affair, just showed anger. Isn't it normal to react that way? He's been having twice as many AO'S today, is that normal? I really wasn't the one researching what a WS acts like so I'm genuinely asking these questions with no idea of what I should expect. No the behaviour is not good at all. Why did you get upset about him accessing your things? Maybe there wasn't an affair to discover but I bet there were some things, like non PoJAd spending that made you defensive. It's unlikely he is making such a big song and dance about a spyware program if he has nothing to hide. Now he knows he's in a corner where he knows the jig is up - unless he can browbeat you, hence the AOs.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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There is absolutely no reason for a man who is familiar with MB to have an AO at his wife over a phone.
Seriously, is the rooted phone more important than you? I don't care how long he has spent rooting it ... is it really worth more than your peace of mind?
I would tell him you are no longer enthusiastic about him having a device you can't watch at your leisure. I would not accept any programs he offers as a replacement -- as I said before, any spyware he suggests is spyware he can get around.
Then read the link in my signature: What to do with an Angry Husand.
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Well he found the teensafe app. He's pissed. Says that its messing with his phone and he didnt agree to it. He routed his phone so he thinks anything I install will ruin it. He is playing you. He knows that rooting the phone opens it up to a LOT more options and it WON'T ruin it to install spyware. You are trusting him when you shouldn't be. That is a HUGE problem. Why would you even discuss the monitoring with him? He told you that you could put protection on it. He is gaslighting you so that he can keep some avenues open. He also offered to find me an alternative program he's ok with. Great!! Take him up on this for the parental controls!! AND, have an additional, secret back up keylogger spying method. I refuse to discuss it in front of the kids because he cant keep calm. That�s okay for now. But once you know what is going on, depending on his attitude, you will need to expose to the kids. AND, hopefully you read the article that Prisca pointed out. Did you?
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