Are you going to pay another visit to the POSOM?

LTL

I was thinking about it, will it do any good. He's liking to everyone nothing is going on, but in text messages thy are expressing there love, and she writes back how she wants to make love to him.

It seems to me unless reality hits it's nothing will happen

It may take awhile but if you keep up with Plan A, and if you are patient, you can kill the affair.
Did you tell the neighbors that your wife was using their borrowed car to visit the POSOM? [Piece of Sh.. Other Man]

My 10 year old daughter told me yesterday that her mom talked to her, saying she had divorce her dad because she married the wrong person, and the OM is just a friend.

In her messages to the OM she is trying to get his ring size. And know there spending hours on the phone over weekend.

Funny thing she said was to him "I wish I was with you, I want to know what it feels like to be with a real man....:-*"

She must be deep in the fog........

At this point, I think you should email Dr. Harley for guidance.
The purpose of Plan A is to win your wife back and Dr. Harley encourages men to plan A for 6 months to 2 years while they wait for the wife to end her affair.
However, since she is actually filling out divorce legal paperwork I think you should contact an attorney and file for divorce and custody.
You need to be extremely careful and ensure that any assets are protected.
So I suggest you email Dr. Harley something like this:

Dear Dr. Harley,

My wife and I have ___ children and have been married for ___ years. I have been able to determine that she has been carying on an affair for ___ months. I have exposed the affair and confronted the OM, who lives with his mother.

At this time, my wife refuses to end the affair and recently received a Do-It-Yourself Divorce Kit in the mail and states she intends to file for divorce.

What do you recommend? Should I contact an attorney and file for divorce first? Or should I just focus on continuing in Plan A?

I been in contact with a lawyer and told him what I am trying to repair the marriage. I guess luck for me she is filing in the wrong county, so we are using that to by time and have it thrown out. Then she has to start over in the right county. He said I'll be ok when she refills in the right county.

I made a intresting discover tonight going though her filing cabinet looking for some stuff.
I did not know I am her 3rd marriage. The first one lasted just over a year, the second marrage that I know about lasted about 3 and know mine at just shy of 4 years.

Good thing I was sitting, I would have fallen over when I saw that.

Well more news, last night my wife got home at 5 am, work is over at 2 am or so.
bassed on what the texts messages last night things got physical between them.

More sad, sad news.

It's only by the grace of God I am still not flying off the handle over all of this.

I am still holding out hope and God's help there is still a chance to repair the marrage.

Boy did a get a earfull this afternoon, my wife was yelling at me for telling the kids about the divorce and she wanted to stop. She will still not admit to the affair and the 10 year is fully aware to that is going on.

I don't know whether you told the neighbors who lent your wife the car about her affair with the POSOM. Remember, Plan A. Exposure. It's like Raid on bugs
I guess you might need to find an attorney and file first to protect yourself and the children.
I don't know whether you could file for custody of the 10 year old. I hope so. You are the safest parent for her, though not her bio-dad.

Well the 10year old told her before I could.
Thy are talking about a longterm relationship now and how there felling are getting stronger, so far what I have done seems to have no effect. Other than she keeps complaining to him that I am making it hard on her.
at what point will things turn and what else should I do?

I have email Doctor Harley and it's been a few days and no reply.

What I would not give to have my wife in my arms again. I just will not give up, I can't give up, even though it hurts so bad.

If you don't hear back from them soon, Notify the MODS and they can relay the message to him.

So they are talking about the future. Doesn't mean there will be a happily ever after for them.

Reality will hit. Stay strong. You are in Plan A. If your wife moves out, there is always Plan B. [Read up on it when you have time.] Plan A includes exposure - you have followed that. Plan B will include a love letter to your wife. You should read up on sample Plan B letters and draft one to post here. After you fix the love letter and road map back to the marriage with the help of the veterans here, you cut off all contact with your wife. But, Plan B is for later, in case your wife moves out to be with the POSOM.

Continue making yourself the attractive alternative for when Stupid POSOM starts screwing up. Which he will.

POSOM may already be wondering what the heck he is doing with a married woman with a lot of baggage and a persistent husband/father of three. He could be thinking "How do I let this woman down easy and go on with my life?"

I don't think he's there yet, he has invited to a event. But she has to show up like she was going there herself and happen to run I to him.
Oh I guess he got him self a job too.

I guess I feel helpless, since what I have done on the serface has does not semester to stop them.

Have you emailed the Harleys?

Don't give in to feeling hopeless. You don't know how your actions are affecting the happy couple. It can take time for the exposure and your Plan A to do its work.

He doesn't love your kids they way you do. They will become an irritant in time. They won't seem so adorable and cute to him when they tantrum, make incessant demands, insist on getting up early and making noise, all the things our kids do in life. They cost money too. Money that could be better spent on self-indulgence. Kids are a lot of work. Parents sacrifice willingly. Strangers (Other Men, Other Women) - not so willingly.

I have sent a email in to follow up from the radio show. I have not heard anything yet.

True, it would be nice to see things move faster in the right direction.

You know I been asked from the pastor at church what I would like see them do since I feel like thy not been doing much. Right off hand I could not think of more than keep the OM accountable.
Any other ideas? I get the feeling thy don't like me talking.

I am trying my best to hang in there, know my wife desided she is going to sleep on the couch. So it's abit more lonely at night.

Please clarify. "They" don't like you talking. Does this mean your wife and the POSOM don't like you talking?

If so, talking about their affair?

Or is there someone else who doesn't like your talking? The pastor, or neighbors, ???

Oh sorry, late nights and using my phone does not always work well posting to a forum.

I get the feeking the pastor's don't like me going around and talking about, but then I also said it feels like thy have not been doing much to help me out.

Tell th pastor to read First Corinthians for his answer on what the church should do to someone living in sin.