In the state of Washington there is common law relating to pseudo facto Parenthood, which means I can make a case in the courts and if I win it's one stop short of a adoption for my step daughter. In the eyes of the court of Washington if I win will me I'll have all the rights and responsibilities of a father to her.

reading, The Last Battle has layers to it. I never read it when I was a kid. I found a website about C.S. Lewis and the Chronicles. I had always thought it was an allegory about Christ and Satan. I was wrong. He wrote them as a simple fairy tale. But a Christian could interpret them as allegory about Christ if they wanted to.

The ape forcing Puzzle the donkey to dress up in a dead lion's skin could be seen as faking the return of Christ. Aslan had not been present for ages, and many people didn't believe in him any more. The Ape used the simple donkey to manipulate the Narnians to do his bidding.

Another aspect of the books is that the child heroes make mistakes, sometimes very bad ones, and they manage to redeem themselves. I think there are good lessons for children that you can repent from your bad deeds, that you can become a better person, but that you have to face your mistakes and own up to them.
Sorry to thread jack. I've worn those pages thin with re-reading.

Ron Clark, she is fogged in with her affair. You did good remembering your 4 year anniversary. It's Plan A. If the fog lifts, she will remember your kind romantic gestures. She is very hard to reach right now.

Your oldest [step]daughter is learning lessons from you now. If G-d forbid she faces a cheating husband, she has a playbook to follow. And closer to the present, she is learning that you are the parent committed to saving her family, and she's learning how much you really love her mother.

think about tossing stones into a brook. If you toss enough stones, you can eventually have a raised pathway and finally you might have a bridge. Only a loving spouse has the courage to hold on and persist, like you are doing.

A POSOM will cut and run when things become hard.

Good man. I hope you succeed with custody of your daughter.

Thanks, none of this is easy for me or on the kids.

I really pray all this will end well.

On Saturday me and my wife went out to a brewfest and had dinner afterwards. For a few hours she had lots of fun I could see on her face. To bad she went to see the POSOM afterwards. Even the next day she said she had lots of fun and wants to do it again.

On thing I can't figure out is she keeps taking like we are married, even thought she had me served with divorce papers.

She is cake-eating and probably had this fantasy in her head wher you and she and OM will be one happy patchwork family and the best of friends. There is nothing wrong with telling her it is killing you inside when she goes to see posom. Not in a pathetic needy way, but so that she understands how your heart is bleeding.

Dr Harley says that women tend to love only one man at a time, so they "want" the best man to win their hearts, while men enjoy the attention of both women, and would sometimes try to keep the limbo going to be able to have to women meet their needs longer.

What else can I do to push the POSOM away? It looks like the POSOM stopped going to church I did not see him today and the pastor hinted that he might be coming.
My wife is still seeing him and is like no other man has me so wound up and I never want to leave your arm's at least in her texts. Thy seem to be talking more than texting.
I have the POSOM posted on the two cheating sites. I just can't seem to get the right pressure on him.

Am I going to have to sit tight till the GL starts checking him out and doing backgrounds checks on him?

I guess I would like to see things move faster in the right direction.

You are doing all the right things. Actually your prospects are good. You have 2 children together and POSOM does not sound like the responsible father type who will want to take on 3 children.
Make yourself as attractive as possible and an enjoyable person to be with for your wife.

I do not remember if you confronted the OM? Dr. Harley reccommends that you let him know that you will always be there for your wife and he has nothing to win in the long run. You can confront him, if you take a witness and if you can constrain yourself. POSOM probably wants something easy on the side and it is not romantic if your "girlfriends" husband confronts you to tell you that you are breaking up a family. It may also impress his mom who lives with him.

There are no guarantees though, because everyone is different and it can take some time for the affair to enter the quarreling phase (but it will).

She probably wants to be your friend after divorce.
My wife would do the Same things

He did confront him at mommys house, where he lives.

Why would you go to the church if he was going?
I dont think this church is doing what they are supposed to be doing and you should consider finding a church that does not encourage unrepentant sins

Well I have found support and there praying for me and my family.
Thy might been slow to react, but talking with the pastor this last Sunday. Thy believe in the sanctity of marriage and thy told the POSOM that the consequences of continuing with the affair would be he would not longer be welcome to come to church to fellowship (church the pastor said is not a social club) and he will no longer be able to providing security or any other services for the church.

It sounds like the pastor put his foot down on what is right.

In fact I did not see the POSOM at church this Sunday.

A condition of recovery is that you would never see this man again so if the church doesnt ban him there is no point in attending.

Anyway, it is positive that he will suffer negative consequences.

Now my concerned that my WW is getting comfortable were she is at. She is talking to him on the phone in my living room at night.
Which is making my daughter upset, well anything to do with the POSOM makes her upset now.

Talking gets no were, am I going to have to sit tight till the court ball gets rolling to get her uncomfortable again?

If she is carrying out the affair under your roof, that is where I would draw the line. I would calmly let her now that she is not allowed to carry out her affair under your roof. That is not a DJ.

You can disconnect the phones. You don't have to provide any means to her which help her contact POSOM.
Who is making the money in your houshold?

Well its her cell phone, that's in her name now. She works now but does not help with household expenses. She also wants to use my money like it's hers. The lawyer says since she filed for divorce it's no longer her money to take.

No. Dr. Harley has made it clear that a betrayed spouse cannot make demands, even a demand to end an affair. In Plan A he can tell her he is devastated when she leaves to be with OM, and try to meet her emotional needs. He should not offend her in any way.

However, he should not make any demands.

If he can't handle plan A and it becomes too stressful he should enter Plan B

Ron,

She may be trying to get you mad so you will leave the house and she can move OM in.
I don't know what to suggest to you in line with Plan A.
We aren't allowed to encourage divorce in the forum but I can tell you that my wife was texting and carrying on her affair in public. I'm divorced now and very happy.

I think you should enter Plan B. But understand that the prospect of winning her back is slim after entering Plan B.