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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860 |
So wrong for you to be denying the truth to the OMW. That is lying. Lying by omission.
You must expose this affair far and wide.
They rehearsed their stories and you believed their lies. They had sex and lots of it.
16 month old child. Time for a paternity test. For this affair could of started before they led you to think.
Polygraph tests are not a bluffing tool. To be effective a test must be scheduled. The WW will then try to get you to cancel with don't you believe me. You tell why should you, she broke your trust with her PA.
WW's then trickle truth some more, claim you now know all, so cancel the test ploy. You say the test is on for you need to confirm what she has just said is the full truth.
You have the best people here giving you a plan to follow based on many years experience with way to many affairs.
Yet you think you are smarter then them. So foolish of you.
This affair will not end for you because you will not do a full exposure, including work. Will not demand NC including work.
Your wife places more importance on her job then your marriage and maintaining contact with the OM.
You place more importance on your WW's job then your marriage.
When a marriage is low priority it will fail. Make it a priority, expose, get your WW to quit or get fired from that job. Then move far away from them OM.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Not telling the OM's wife makes you an accessory to the crime. You are now in collusion with the adulterers in their mission to hurt others.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391 |
We need to start a "Told ya so" thread of all the folks who ignore our advice and come back and say...."You were right and I was wrong." And are looking for "emergency" advice bc the WS is moving out or is talking divorce.
What they don't realize is that they already are in an emergency situation and any deviations from the MB plan when there is an affair (even a potential affair) usually has DISASTROUS results (Dr Harley's own words).
There have been hundreds such cases since I started posting here and maybe it would help to get through posters such as pokerguy.
Sigh. Excellent Idea!!! LTL
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I really hate saying "I told you so," but what I hate worse is sitting by watching someone squander each and every chance they have at saving their marriage. It is downright painful to watch. By the time they come back ready to act, it is usually too late because the longer the affair goes on, the harder it is to turn around.
What I can't fathom is why some people come here, ask for advice, and then don't take it. That makes no sense to me whatsoever. I can understand why someone would ignore advice if they had a better plan, but they don't. And why ask in the first place if you aren't serious?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 810
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Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 810 |
I think that often the BS is in a deep fog themselves, and so it doesn't compute that their marriage is truly as bad as the (clear-headed) folks on here are portraying. Especially for those with a long history of independent behavior, the wayward's gaslighting has done a number on the BSs personal view of reality. Looking back, I know that is what my sitch was. It takes what it takes, I guess. The BS eyes will be opened when they are ready. But in the meantime MelodyLane and others, do not for one second doubt the amazing care that you are (freely) giving here.  And yes, I also think an "I told ya so!" thread would be good.
DDays - six months of them THANK YOU God and Marriage Builders. We never knew that it could be this good!
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