I am so sorry you find yourself here perusing the internet desperately trying to figure out what to do. Your internet searching for "can I save my marriage" or "surviving an affair" are the same searches that lead me here over a decade ago.

While I certainly think it takes a special kind of broken person to register and participate in a infidelity website like Ashley Madison. I do not believe it is a death sentence for every single marriage where use of Ashley Madison is discovered. Wayward is wayward. Sin is sin. There is no reason your spouse can't repent and "turn" from their sin just as my wife and many others have coming to this forum for years.

Post here. This place is your best shot...by far. I've seen a few other websites and forums already trying to recruit you victims and their messages aren't pretty or encouraging. The topic of infidelity on the internet has, in the last 10 years, been taken over by several various groups of individuals and psuedo-professionals. There are undisclosed wiccan & atheist forums seeking to covertly complete the destruction of your marriage, there are divorce forums that will pressure you to divorce at the first sign of infidelity proclaiming redemption and reconciliation are unattainable and unbelievable and there are other websites that are either a self-proclaimed uneducated expert or peer counseling forums with completely irrelevant or inapplicable folk wisdom from random people whom, more often than not, lack significant knowledge and relevant experience with your situation. If you see really slick graphics making promises if you'll just pay for the magic document or "one on one counseling session" they'll make everything OK again then you are in the wrong place.

Dr. Harley and MB have been around a long time. Dr Harley is retired. You can buy his books here or used on Amazon. He doesn't care. The books will help but most of his information can be gleaned from these forums and his main website. It's not hidden and only accessible if you pay $_____. This is NOT a marketing website or forum. You can call his radio show and ask for advice FREE of charge and he'll actually send you a free book for doing so. Call now because I'm sure he probably would like to address this current issue in the next few days/weeks. Finally, we here are real people that saved our real marriages after infidelity on these very forums using these MB methods, principles, philosophies and tactics. We share our experiences and collective wisdom; but, uniquely we attempt to base the majority of our advice on a real expert's (Dr. Harley) writings and teachings versus believing our limited experience somehow makes US the experts on infidelity.

I know it seems really dark and bad right now but there IS hope. Post your story and let us help you.

Godspeed,
Mr. Wondering

This is snippet of something I wrote a long time ago but I think it really applies here. Seeking out and having sex with completely random [probably mentally ill} women on the internet says a lot more about your husband than it says about you. This is THEIR soul sin sickness.


Wayward Spouses ALWAYS affair down. They NEED someone beneath them, who will admire them and give them feigned respect. Your husband is not seeking out the younger, better looking woman, he is taking whatever opportunity presents itself and meets his needs for sex, admiration, and boosts his self-esteem. SHE IS NOT SPECIAL. If she happens to be younger and pretty that is just the luck of the draw and a RARITY...most of the time it IS NOT the case. After reading here you will discover that the OW could have been anyone and your husband's choice of OW was not in any way an indication or indictment of you as a beautiful, attractive, desirable, intelligent, mature, moral, loyal, spiritual woman, wife and mother. OW is, I guarantee, no match for you.

Think of it this way, your husband is behaving low and dirty. Thus it necessarily takes a pretty low class woman to admire him at this point ... DO NOT allow this trash to rock your self confidence. You may or may not have let yourself go...but you can get it back and be the classy, beautiful, respectful, upstanding, Grade A woman you always were whereas the Other Woman WILL ALWAYS remain trash.


Good luck again,

Mr. Wondering