I will emphasise that it is not just the issue of what your wife might accuse you of.

If this is indeed your stepdaughter that you were speaking about, then any idea of her sleeping in your bed is wrong, in and of itself. This is a ten year-old girl, who is not your daughter. Her sleeping in your bed would be morally wrong.

Ok, will do HEARD LOAD AND CLEAR. I never given it any thought because the kids always come to our bed lots of times.

So on another note I just start to posting photos with a nice comment of my WW and kids on FB. Letting my friends like and comment first then a few days latter tag her and let her friends comment and like. It seems like a good idea and to leave some history behind.
So far I am impressed how many like and comments there has been, most of my FB friends have no idea what's going on.

My WW seems far away, she even swearing around the kids according to the 10 year old. The 10 year old says the 3 year old is now dropping F bomes. I have yet to hear the 3 year old say that, but just a matter of time.

It has me wondering how much hope there is for her.

I wouldn't single her out. I would just make it a rule for all the kids.

Your WW is sinking. They turn into strangers.
You will be correcting the kids whenever they cuss. You might be hearing about their F bombs from pre-school teachers, parents of the kids' friends, etc. Good news: you can break those bad habits if you are consistent with corrections.

I'll be on top of the kids if thy use such language, I am lucky that the 10 year old hates that language as much as me.
The 3 year old is might take some doing though.

Well I hope sinking of my WW is a good thing.

A update today Thursday my WW had some bad food and called in sick and has been sleeping between here stomach cramps.
I guess I call it my lucky day, I mean I hate seeing her sick, but she seems more her old self and I was able to help her and get close and help her get around the house.
I know it's short lives but I had the chance to be there for her.

It's really going to be short lived, because on Saturday I am having serving her papers for a hearing to have her divorce thrown out for wrong venue.
The hearing will be a week on the 31st. I am trying to brace for the anger I am going to receive. And I pray the hearing will go my way with out much trouble.
I can see why it would not, but strange things happen.

Plan A points scored for taking care of your wife while she was sick. Good work!

You said you plan to serve your wife. You know you can't personally serve her, right? Because you are a party to the case. Did you mean a process server or a sheriff will serve her? You want this all done by the book.

Oh, and of course she will be furious with you. Her fury will not be the ending of your marriage or your chances for recovery. Your failure to act to protect your marriage, and your children, could be very bad for all of you. You are doing absolutely the right thing!

Have some stock responses for when she goes ballistic.
"I will do everything I need to to keep our children safe."
"I don't want to talk divorce. I want to save our marriage. I love you."

She might hurl some pretty ugly stuff at you. Don't respond in kind. You're in a marathon. Satisfaction of a minute by saying the wrong thing isn't worth it. Good luck!

Thanks,
Oh I know I am not personal serving her, a friend of mine is, that's going to happen tonight or in the morning.

So my decision I have to make is do I sit tight after Monday or server her with legal separation to by time.
From more snooping it looks like my WW having me served has made her happy and it's a step closer to be with him.

I am leaning towards to filing and my laywer thinks it could by time if she is not paying attention.I thunk it just might put extra pressure on her and the OM. I can't stop her from refilling so what do I have to lose?

I have to say besides the cost my lawyer been great, writing up documents with the footer that has my name instead of the lawyer office. Trying to keep things under the radar until he needs to be in the picture.

Also in my snooping last night I guess she hate me touching her, so I am guessing the hugs and a kiss on the cheek or hand.

And this might be hope, my WW apologized to the POSOM for getting upset at something. It was not clear what it was about.
It's hard to snooping on my WW she guards her phone like a hawk, even when she sleeps.

My ex wife also slept with her phone.
These cheaters would risk their life to save their phone from being run over.

My now ex kept his phone on vibrate in his pants pocket. Whenever the OW called him, he would jump in the tiniest way. Then he would run into the bathroom and close the door. A few minutes later, he would put the dog's leash on her collar, put on a jacket, and take the poor critter out on an hour or longer walk. It's classic cheating behavior. I think if they could, they'd have the cell phones surgically implanted under their arms where nobody could sneak a peak at the call history.
(I used to look at his while he showered in the morning, just to confirm to myself that I was really not crazy; that the incomings and the dog walks were at the same times.)

It's funny how thy think thy can sneak around and his things and in reality it makes it even more obvious. My WW code work I need to go for a drive really means I am going to go see the POSOM and I'll be home really late.
I have to wait till she is sound asleep, because she locks the doors and takes her phone when she showers. I just wait up till the phone falls on the floor and sneak peak what's she's been upto.

What do you guys think after I get her motion for divorce kicked out I file for separation? It will give me a advantage. And my lawer is hoping the way she been doing things so far that we might get a default. That's would save lots of hassle.
It's abit of Russian roulette, but has a high chance of winning.

In answer to your question, i dont see any advantage in filing for a legal separation. Typically cheaters just use separation as a free pass to cheat nor openly. The purpose of this forum is to discuss how to implement Dr. Harleys methods and he has said he does not want posters being advises to divorce on the forum. That is a choice the betrayed spouse must make.
I think the advantages a divorce or separation would have to be weighed with your lawyer.
The question i would ask your attorney is what is the advantages of a separation over a divorce? You will presumably have to pay the lawyer twice if you go that route.

If you are trying to simply avoid divorce by beating her to the courthouse and filing for separation then you need to examine your motives. Dont spend your energy trying to legally force this woman to remain married to you.

Jedi is right--separation, post-Nups, etc. are cheater cart-blanch. Mine pushed really hard for a post-nup, but it was just so he could feel like he could cheat more openly.

Filing for divorce is a much more direct and stronger action.

I hear what you are saying, since my WW seems to be going down this path of divorce. I am into protectioning the kids. I could wait and hope she does it pro se again and then i files temporary orders and fight it out. If she get a lawer and that's a if. I would be fighting a uphill battle if she gets temporary orders. I feel like I am doomed if I don't doomed if I do.

So many hard choices

***EDIT***

I guess what I am asking, should I got forward and file, or should I wait.
I know by filing all the power is in my court and she's going to have a hard time getting what she wants.
I think I figured out how she got this plans. She makes 1500 a month right know. By geting custody of the kids she will have the my step daughter 400 plus 600 for the two of are kids, that's makes a nice 2500 a month to live on.
That's seems to make since from her paperwork on the divorce.

I am hoping to have some reality hit when she realize she not going to get that 600.
My lawyer says I should have no problem getting full custody of the kids with her working grave yard.

My end goal is till save this marrage but not at the expense of the kids or getting back together in the future with my WW.
I am just not ready to cut my loses with her yet.

Sir, Dr. Harley has said he doesn't want posters advising divorce on this board.
if its an issue of strategy, you should address it with your attorney.
You can also email Dr. Harley directly and ask for his advise.

Apologies. I've been away from the Boards for loooong stretches of time.
I guess I need to get current with the new ideals.

Well I desided to sit tight and let her refiles if she choises.

Today was hard in some ways and others I am not sure.
So she desided to unfriend me on FB, that sure hurt. I know it just a dumb social site but it did hurt none the less.

After I went to church, I came home and we went bowling as a family. When we got home she yelled at me saying she does not appreciate me trying to stop the divorce and how mad she is at me telling the kids about the divorce (she will not admit to the affair ) and then was upset that her daughter thinks she is a witch and will not listen to her and ordered me to take care of it it and spank her, because she was throwing a fit. I told my WW that she is told old to spank and I not going to do that.

Then I expand to her she can't expected me to rescue her every time she takes the rains away from me and when things are not work out have me rescue her when it comes to the kids. I told her we have to work together with the kids.
She sat down on the couch with are 11 month old and started to cry. I try ed to comfort her and ask why she was crying. She was crying because her 10 year old hates her.

After I came back from mowing the lawn, we had some dinner in the living room and she seems way more friendly and invited me to sit on the couch next to her.

I am not sure what's this week will bring, I guess next Monday will be really telling were she is at.

I do have to say one thing, no matter how much self control you think you have this really puts you to the test. It was really hard to keep my cool and try to deescalate things.

Sorry for any typos I am using my phone.