Threads merged. Please stay on one thread.

Sorry, since it was a general question and not that i am thinking of giving up. i thought a new thread was in order.

Thats an interesting question.
Dr. Harley has written and said that when people approach him, he typically doesn't advise to stay married or divorced. He considers that a personal choice and he uses his methods to help people who choose to remain married. At the Same time, he states that as a Christian psychologist, he believes that victims of adultery have a moral right to divorce their cheating spouse.

So such decisions are personal. It all boils down to what your personal philosophy on life is. Some fight to the bitter end, some throw in the towel to fight another day.
When i was in a similar situation to yours, I was reminded of the Rocky movies and I resolved to give it my all. I decided that i would fight for my marriage in Plan A until Divorce day and when the bell rang, that was it.

I fought the good fight and i can look at myself in the mirror and say i fought and gave it my all. But when the bell rang, that was the end. I suppose i lost the fight but won the war.

I encourage you to watch the Rocky movies. Watch Braveheart and the Patriot. John Wayne movies. They inspire you to give it your all. At all costs avoid chick flicks during this time.

I feel like I am missing something, it does not look like what I have done has had a effect on my WW and the OM. There messages are between them thanks for the support during these hard times, etc but fewer messages and shorter calls. A intresting development looks like she got a new friend at work and he wants to meet for coffee and is telling her how attractive she is. I am pretty sure it was the young guy that served me with my WW divorce stuff.

They are saying that they're going through "hard times," and yet you don't think what you did had an effect? I don't remember what your exposure entailed. Did you expose on both their sides? If so, you've done all you can, and you need to stop worrying about how it is affecting them. Focus your thoughts on more positive things.

If your wife is now juggling several boyfriends, though, you've got a larger problem on your hands.

Well its coffee now, who knows what's his intentions are, and not far off turning into another affair.
Man life sure has a way of kicking a guy when he is already down.

If she agrees to it while he's made his intentions clear, then I think that might put her into the category of a serial cheater.

I just want to cry, so far I never have cried so much in my life.

On the positive side of things the kids seem to grown closer to me in all this and last night I started to read the first book in the Chronicles of Narnia. The 10 and 3 year old made a fuss since thy wanted me to read what thy picked out. But after I got started I had the 3 year old in my lap and the 10 year old hovering closer and she started to read along.
It just had the great feeling we were growing closer together and there was peace in the house. I really thanks God for the family I have. Kids are great even if thy can be a pain some times.

Man i sure feel for WD, i am half way through his thread.
From reading his thread i have a idea i have the OM posted on playerblock but he does not appear to use the internet. So my idea is why not print out the people in the area that cheat and start posting them on the public board at stores?
Good idea or bad?

Similar ideas were exchanged with WD, even to hire unemployed or homeless people to wear body poster sugns and walk in front of the drug store he worked at.

But, as far as your Own wife's cheating goes, anytime you expose the situation, it is supposed to come from a place in your heart seeking assistance for her to end her marital miscues and restore a once decent marriage, with the willingness to create a fantastic and daily romantic marriage.

LTL

For those that are not famiar with the wild roller coaster ride of WD, which is WifeDivorcing as the actual User Name, Melody Lane currently has a link in her Signature portion, directing you to that posters thread and the trials areyou d tribulations he endured, yet achieved a beginning of reconciliation as of his last written update.

LTL

Ron,

The problem is that WD 's OM was a businessman and active member of the community. Exposure was starting to hurt his business.

Your OM is just a classic deadbeat.

He is probably looking for easy sex.

Yes, you continue to Plan A. Up to two years or as long as you can continue without it negatively affecting your health. It's not for the weak of heart. Dr. Harley does not recommend continuing past the 2 year mark. The odds are in your favor up to that point.

I know its going to be along hard road, wish in my case i did not have to live through another divorce.
It seems the odds will be really low after the divorce, and when the affair dies she just keep moving on.
My step daughter says she will not be happy with her mother till this family is back together. I know thats what she says now i hope that resolve does not fade, i guess i see that being the one thing that might help in the long run.


My poor kids i it really does break my heart seeing thy will have to live through this.

Its very difficult on kids but if you provide stability and routine habits they will get through it much better.
Do you attend a local Church?
If not I encourage you to attend a church tomorrow.

It has been slightly over 3 1/2 years since my Wayward Serial Cheating Wife left me and my just turned 9 years old Son, (at that time), and it has now been over 2 1/2 years since she has had ANY contact with him at all.

Last week, for the 1st time in over 6 months, we slightly discussed her, and his response, now at 12 1/2 years old, is that he used to be a little hurt by her leaving and having no contact, but now he doesn't trust her at all and it doesn't bother him at all anymore. Plus, in the past he has told me that I am everything to him, because I am such a good Dad.

Like Jedi said, develop routines with them and keep them occupied in fun, yet responsible activities. Our routine includes, Catechism Class once per week, enrollment in tge school orchestra playing the violin, enrollment in his schools choir, Boy Scout Meetings once per week and campouts, karate classes 2 times, per week and plenty of time at the local library along with his weekly fun playtimes with friends of his on our block and from school.

Do the Absolutely Best job of continuing your Plan A, but always prioritize the emotional security of any children first.

LTL

I do go to church, but my WW has forbidden the kids to go to that church anymore. Thats the church i did the exposer at and the OM used to attend.
In a few weeks Awana is going to start and thy will be doing that.