Hello,

I'm new here and haven't yet filled out the agreement/discussed with my H, etc.

All my life, up until the last few years, I've felt like I have been a pretty positive person (with one of my major faults as being way too sensitive). Well, the last several years have been really difficult with loosing my mom, economic hardship, depression, etc., and I and my H have pretty much checked out of our marriage. I've told him, several times over the last few years, that we need to either work on things or call it quits. For a while we do better, but then we're back to where we started. Nothing has worked, and though I used to think I was a fairly positive person, I am very pessimistic and really at the end of my rope in my M/ coming to this site as a last resort.

These are a few of our problems:

1) I feel that I am pulling way more than my weight in this marriage (financially, physically, and emotionally).
2) My H and I are both really selfish.
3) My H does not take personal responsibility for much of anything. He is one of those blame everyone else types.
4) My H is very lazy (except doing things he enjoys like bike riding, etc.), while I am a very hard worker.
5) I take too much responsibility to a point that I feel used, manipulated and blamed... Then I get angry, we fight, we make up, and we start over at the same place.
6) My H is critical of everyone and everything except himself.

As I write this list, I have really had it... There are so many more reasons why I think a divorce is really the only answer. But I look at the few reasons as to why I keep holding on, and they are good reasons:

1) My kids - two teenagers - would be devastated if we divorced.
2) I am a Christian and my faith tells me not to quit/to keep trying.
3) I know that my H really does love me and would be deeply hurt if I divorce him.
4) Though I don't feel it often, and sometimes I really feel like I hate him, I still love my H enough to keep holding on.

I guess what I'd like to know are stories from others who came here at the end of their ropes and experienced great improvements through MB. If you wouldn't mind sharing your story, I'd appreciate it.

Thanks.

Hi Sunnychance, welcome to Marriage Builders. Most of us regulars here have romantic, passionate marriages as a result of using this program. It is a step by step program that is designed to create romantic love in your marriage. Please check out this article that explains the program: How to Create Your Own Plan to Resolve Conflicts and Restore Love to Your Marriage

Sunny,
Just a hug from another woman in a similar situation.
Thankful for the kind support of others on this list.
At least I feel like there are people that understand and really want to help.
My thread is "where to from here: Plan B?" in this same section.
Saying a prayer for you and your family.
God is GOOD!

Hi Sunny!

You are in the right place. Marriage Builders concepts help us create great marriages and lifestyles, one habit at a time.