Prisca, if you spent half as much time on my thread being specific about the behaviors of mine you take issue with, as you do complaining about my behaviors in general, I would know what it is you're talking about. "Stop lovebusting your husband" doesn't tell me anything, especially when I barely interact with him and haven't been on the forum in a month. To be honest, I actually asked the moderators to have you blocked from posting on my thread (but they don't do that apparently unless you're breaking the rules) because your posts to me have traditionally been very snipey. I'm willing to listen. But when I ask you a question and you tell me to go figure it out, it's incredibly unhelpful.

I can't imagine why you would spend so much time on my thread if you're not trying to be helpful. Talking generically or telling me to figure it out is not being helpful.

So why then?

Day- Steve and the forum are complimentary they are not the same. I have had an identical experience as you. In situations like ours Steve focuses on the husband's actions. Steve may not have mentioned your lovebusters (he has never addressed mine, either) but do you really think that means you don't have to eliminate them? Eliminating lovebusters is fundamental to Marriage Builders. It isn't the forum's job to force Remark to follow Steve's advice. I've been in your shoes and I have felt your desperation. If you come to the forum to get help you will be held accountable for your behavior . If you aren't open to that, don't post. If Remark won't continue with Steve or won't do the work you can separate from him. You can also speak to Steve about your situation on your own, without Remark's involvement.

I do see where the forum's advice contradicts Steve's advice completely (based on what he told me over multiple sessions) but they are right that Steve hasn't and would never suggest that it is okay for you to Love Bust Remark.

You have been scolding Markos and Prisca for 2 days now for "contradicting" Steve Harley. Explain HOW.

JDD, your lovebusters have been pointed out to you in the past.

However, there comes a point when it is important for you to practice finding the disrespect in yourself. We all had to do it. You didn't even need to get it perfect -- you just needed to try. I have already explained this to you.

You were given an assignment. You didn't even try to complete it.

Do you think its helpful to come on the forum and brawl with posters who are trying to help you? This makes me question your judgment about what is helpful and what is not. I don't see how brawling with posters is helpful in the least.

Disrespectful judgment. Of course I tried. I tried like hell. I tried like hell to avoid doing them or posting something in the first place, and reviewed my posts again afterwards. Not being successful doesn't mean I didn't try.

And yes, you have already explained it to me. Still not helpful.

I think maybe you and Marcos are too far down the success path to remember what it's like to be in the trenches.

I know you aren't addressing me, ML and I respect you very much but I'm compelled to answer this. Markos and Prisca have implied that Remark's failure to follow the program and show extraordinary care are due in part to Day's lovebusting and refusal to engage in enjoyable UA time.

[I'm not trying to be helpful, I'm the one needing help and I'm being brawled with.

Disrespectful judgment. Of course I tried. I tried like hell. I tried like hell to avoid doing them or posting something in the first place, and reviewed my posts again afterwards. Not being successful doesn't mean I didn't try.

And yes, you have already explained it to me. Still not helpful.

I think maybe you and Marcos are too far down the success path to remember what it's like to be in the trenches.

You did not make one attempt to find and list your lovebusters. You argued and you fought.

You were given an assignment, and refused more than once to even try.

More accusations and belittling. I did try. I didn't list any because I didn't find any. I "refused to even try???" What are you talking about?