Thank you SUgar Cane, like you said he is trolling for action. He has just told me (or let me say confessed paritally) to sleeping with over 60 women in the last 3 years. and 4 last week. he says he is a sex addict. He leaves work to go and have sex in hotels in the afternoon. I just realised my marriage was a sham, i have been totally blinded. For now i have decided to separate for now. Till i decide if i am staying here or moving back home.
Unfotunately his parents and mine who i did exposure to are convincing me to stay and endure...something about it being a plan of the devil and how God wants to use me to change his life....i will not stay to endure anyway.

I wont be able to go full NC with him because of the child we have for now, but i wll not live with him. I dont see the marriage working to be honest.

Sorry you are here. Sugar has given you some excellent advice. I am not sure that I understand your response.

Is your WH willing to create a lifestyle that would make cheating impossible? Meaning changing his job, and giving up the things that allow a SSL to be possible (no independent behavior, no unfettered access to cell phones, internet, etc).

If he is NOT, then you should immediately plan to separate, which is Plan B. Otherwise you are putting your health at risk and basically giving your M zero chance for recovery because you will be telling your WH that his serial cheating ways are acceptable.

We have posters here (like myself) who have children and go into Plan B (no contact) with their wayward spouses all the time. Of course it is possible.

How much of this site have you read? Do you have SAA?

This is terrible news, and I am so sorry to hear it.

You are at high risk from life-threatening diseases. Please have no further sexual contact with your husband, and get an STI test immediately.

Please tell your H he must move out TODAY. Do not worry about where he will sleep; that is his problem. You must not let him back in the home. I don't know whether he is a sex addict (please see Dr Harley's article on sex addiction, via the Articles section in the red area at the top of every page), but he is living a dangerous lifestyle, and there is no reason to suppose that he will stop.

You must not communicate directly with him for any reason,. He must pick up and drop off your daughter to his or your parents, or a friend's house. You need to get an intermediary who will pass only URGENT messages between you, by email.

Do both sets of parents really know what he has told you - about the 60 women, and the sex in brothels? (Hotels my hind end.) And they tell you to stay with him? Can you imagine in your wildest dreams ever saying that to your daughter?

If they won't support you and help you kick him out and keep him out, you need to cut off contact with them, too. I have never heard such cruel things said in all my born days.

You need to get him out, right now.

Yes they have both heard....but its a cultural thing (we are orignially africans) my parents are worried about stigma from thier friends if thier daughter is divorced. His parents are just considering thier son only and being selfish which i guess is expected.
I didnt bother to talk to him about the other things because i think he has not told me the full truth yet. He has not unlocked the phone, which means there is more than he is saying. It makes no sense talking about it if he will not even start by being honest or truthful, hence i told him to leave.
I have cut contact with his parents for now, but just told my parents i was sticking to my decision. His sisters however are fully behind me and have advised i get a divorce at is is unnacceptable. He also admitted to being a sex addict but said nothing about wanting to change. In his stupid words ' I am a sex addict but i want you and my daughter in my life'.

however i feel weak, i havent eaten in 5 days, is there any advice to get thru this easier. I cant think properly too, i think i am in a haze since he told me this yesterday.

We do not have SAA here....this place is pretty strict. If i actually report him to the police he will be jailed for a year and deported.

Well that may be your answer. Get him out of your lives and wash your hands of him

Get into your doctor for ADs.

You will feel so much better when you get away from him.

Read this.
Please Explain Gaslighting

It is disturbing enough that your WH has confessed to 60 affairs with women who have a very high likelihood of disease. But you are saying that he is still hiding things and he has seemingly no intention to change this.

You need to do whatever you can to get away from him. Move back to your home country if you can. If you need to get him arrested and deported to do this, do it. Cut off all contact with him. I would even petition the courts for full custody and supervised visitation, who knows what he could expose your daughter to.

My dear, you have Surviving an Affair everywhere in the world. Just download a copy from Amazon.

oh so sorry i htought you meant sex addicts anonoymous.

What is your plan?