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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 16
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 16 |
Dear Fellow Joint Agreement Friends,
My wife and I had a discussion, and we've had a disagreement on how to find joint agreement on our yard. We were curious if you could help us on clarifying some of the terms of Joint agreement.
We have bought a house and are trying to find joint agreement on the some changes we want to make to the yard. One of us feels the yard should be viewed as a blank slate with (for example, cutting down all the mature trees and starting over so we can pick things we both agree on). The other person feels that any changes made to the existing landscaping needs joint agreement (so in this instance, you wouldn't cut down any trees unless both of you agree enthusiastically).
Any thoughts on how to navigate this and which point of view to take?
Thanks,
-Super POJ Man
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
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Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Any thoughts on how to navigate this and which point of view to take?
Thanks,
-Super POJ Man Keep negotiating until you find a THIRD POINT OF VIEW that you BOTH LIKE. Don't do anything until you find a solution that suits you both. Just keep brainstorming until you find an alternative that makes you both enthusiastic. One suggestion would be to go to a landscape professional and get a professional survey. My H and I did this and we use this as we make improvements to our yard. That is what suited US, though. It might not suit you and your wife.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
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Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
The other person feels that any changes made to the existing landscaping needs joint agreement (so in this instance, you wouldn't cut down any trees unless both of you agree enthusiastically). The rule in the POJA is that nothing is done without mutual enthusiastic agreement so this would be correct.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,823 Likes: 7
Member
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Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,823 Likes: 7 |
The other person feels that any changes made to the existing landscaping needs joint agreement (so in this instance, you wouldn't cut down any trees unless both of you agree enthusiastically). The rule in the POJA is that nothing is done without mutual enthusiastic agreement so this would be correct. But you also don't stop negotiating until the other person is satisfied, as well. Don't stop at "do nothing." But don't do anything until you find something you are both enthusiastic about.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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