Hello,

i am 30 and my wife is 24 now and we have been married for 2 years and we have a 9 months old son. We live in a country where sex before marriage is totally not accepted.

we met 4.5 years ago and started dating. Like any other couples we flirted, we kissed and even some physical action. Three months later while hiking in the woods we got physical **EDIT** We never planned this to happen. I was totally scared and didn�t know what to do. She was like �it�s OK don�t worry don�t let this affect our relation even if things don�t work out don�t let it affect your decision if you are not happy with me� she said this every time i tried to talk to her about what happened and what she wants me to do.

after that everything was great and we got engaged for a year before marriage. Since we got married we had ups and downs like any other married couple and she always says that i don�t talk much when i come home from work and don�t take care of her so much. And yes i am not a talkative person and over simplify things and maybe take her for granted.

two weeks ago she came to me crying and told me that she was not happy anymore because she tried to fix things so many times and every time she talks to me i get better and things get great for 2 months and then i get back to the way i was before.

she said she pretended to be so strong all the time even when she lost her virginity and she said she only married me for that reason because she was young and afraid if her parents found out and didn't know what else to do. And she never told me that before because she didn't want to hurt me but she couldn't anymore.

since we met she always told me that she doesn�t believe in love and she believes in actions and happiness. Things were great and she was so happy to be with me and i treated her right and she even said that in a certain period i made her love me because of the way i treated her and now she doesn�t want to give affection and doesn�t want affection in return anymore. She will keep taking care of the house and me and cook for me and take care of our son and everything else just like before but of course no sexual or emotional life and our son will be her only interest and she wants me not to ask for anything more than that. And she is still my wife only because it was a decision she took.

i am so deeply in love with her and would do anything to fix our marriage but she said that i can�t fix anything anymore. And she doesn�t want me to fix anything and she will not love me again whatever I would do or change because i will get back to the same way we are now and she will get hurt again. Now she stopped talking to me the way we did before unless it was something about our son and she says that she doesn't want me to get her involved in anything concerning my own life and she doesnt want me to interfere in her life as well.

please help me with some advice what should i do?

It is pretty unusual that a marriage can be ruined in just 2 short years. But you can turn it around if you will get into the habit of meeting her needs. If you do this for a while, you an draw her back.

It doesn't sound like you have met her needs much at all since you got married. What happened?

im just not a talkative person,my friends used to call me silent mode.
i can discuss for hours any interesting subject but im not the type of guy that just talk to talk but not that i dont talk at all,i do but not all the time.she says i only text her 3 or 4 times during the day while at work and only ask if she is ok or if she had lunch or if she needs me to bring anything on my way home.should i chat all day with her and have conversations while im at work?i over simplify things,i mean like if someone did something that bothered me i dont make a fuss out of it,i just take it in a simple way and dont like to argue.
i get her flowers from time to time, i buy her gifts from time to time,we go out once in a while since we have some debts that will end in 2 years from now. we never traveled or had a vacation since our honeymoon.
she said her friends took care of her and talked to her more than i did during the days when im at work and she is home alone.
all that was a reason why she shut off her heart.
but the main problem is that she didnt marry me out of love,she just married me cause i made her accidentally lose her virginity as i stated in my post and she had no other choice she says.and she never told me that before until now.

She can fall in love with you again if you will start meeting her needs. She was in love with you once and can be in love with you again. The best way to make that happen is to start going out on dates with her and give her all your attention. Dr Harley recommends 4 - 4 hour dates meeting each others intimate emotional needs of affection, converstation, sexual fulfillment and recreational companionship. If you will do that, she will probably not feel neglected anymore.

You can learn to meet her need for conversation. Read this article about it here: here.

And you should get the book His Needs, Her Needs. That will help you understand how romantic love is created and maintained in marriage.