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Any recommendations on how to deal with stress and being exhausted?
I seem to be making no head way with my WW, I am getting to the point were I just want her to go. She has no care for me and makes demands over what she wants the kids to do and I feel like I am being used. She does not want to talk and when she does it feels like demands and case over no discussion. Have you spoken to your doctor about ADs? Dr. Harley recommends ADs for a short period during Plan A and Plan B. No I have not, I don't really have a regular doctor. When I go in I just see however is available. Well this help with being exhausted? My exhausted is more physical just from work and then picked up all the slack around the apartment that needs to get done that my WW is just not doing anymore. Yes it will help. It will help your attention be more focused and will help you sleep. I would make an appointment and tell the doctor what you are going through. Thanks I'll make a call in the morning and see what's the doctor says. My WW just asked really nicely in a text if I would help her clean the apartment before she goes to work on Saturday. I had plans on working on the car, but I am not going to pass this opportunity up and help her out. I have no idea if the affair is dieing or if this is a good sign. All I see is away to make some love bank deposits 
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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So I snooped this morning it seems she wants me on place to serve me papers.
Oh well, helping in the long run still has to make some kind of deposits.
It seems the POSOM dad is really not on board because it looks like he's helping her out be recommending a mechanic. That's makes me upset, but nothing I can do about it.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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Any recommendations on how to deal with stress and being exhausted?
I seem to be making no head way with my WW, I am getting to the point were I just want her to go. She has no care for me and makes demands over what she wants the kids to do and I feel like I am being used. She does not want to talk and when she does it feels like demands and case over no discussion. Have you spoken to your doctor about ADs? Dr. Harley recommends ADs for a short period during Plan A and Plan B. No I have not, I don't really have a regular doctor. When I go in I just see however is available. Well this help with being exhausted? My exhausted is more physical just from work and then picked up all the slack around the apartment that needs to get done that my WW is just not doing anymore. Yes it will help. It will help your attention be more focused and will help you sleep. I would make an appointment and tell the doctor what you are going through. The other thing that AD's can help with is the extra energy that is consumed by being in a stressed state, it takes far more energy to keep stressed than relaxing. The other thing that helped me, was working out. It seems counter intuitive but focusing on my fitness goals, which were completely within my own control, helped to crowd out some of the bad stuff with good stuff.
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The other thing that AD's can help with is the extra energy that is consumed by being in a stressed state, it takes far more energy to keep stressed than relaxing. The other thing that helped me, was working out. It seems counter intuitive but focusing on my fitness goals, which were completely within my own control, helped to crowd out some of the bad stuff with good stuff. Thanks, I'll definitely look into AD's. I been trying to workout be it seems by the time I the kids in bed and the apartment cleaned up. That if I take the slightest sit down brake I am asleep.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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My WW seems to be getting more unstable, getting short with the kids and me. It seems its taking less to set her off.
I get a thanks for helping around the apartment to i dont do enought and anger then mad. Then she leaves and apologize for her behavior.
I am not sure what to expect from moment to moment.
It almost seems her world if coming apart.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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My WW seems to be getting more unstable, getting short with the kids and me. It seems its taking less to set her off.
I get a thanks for helping around the apartment to i dont do enought and anger then mad. Then she leaves and apologize for her behavior.
I am not sure what to expect from moment to moment.
It almost seems her world if coming apart. Just keep PlanA'ing. Expect her to test your resolve using awful methods. When you feel it getting to you, remove yourself from the situation. I think your PlanA is effective, so keep it up as long as you can, but understand your limits. BTW...did your get served while helping her clean your place?
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My WW seems to be getting more unstable, getting short with the kids and me. It seems its taking less to set her off.
I get a thanks for helping around the apartment to i dont do enought and anger then mad. Then she leaves and apologize for her behavior.
I am not sure what to expect from moment to moment.
It almost seems her world if coming apart. Just keep PlanA'ing. Expect her to test your resolve using awful methods. When you feel it getting to you, remove yourself from the situation. I think your PlanA is effective, so keep it up as long as you can, but understand your limits. BTW...did your get served while helping her clean your place? Boy, did i feel like this weekend was a test, when she asked for help cleaning, then asked for me drip off lunch at work well more like dinner it was 9pm. Then yesterday she got angery and start throwing insults and anything else she could to get me upset. I sure had to hold my tongue. I wanted to yell back if your so unhappy living here then leave. But i keeped my cool. She is now changing her story from always been unhappy with the marrage to just been unhappy with the last year. I'll take that as she is confused herself. I did not get served as i expected, so not sure whats up there. My lawer pulled up the docket motion, and he said my WW is tring to skip to the end and get the divorce finalized. He now stepping in, he said i cant be defensive anymore, otherwise i'll be on the losing end and also lose my ablity to keep the custody of the kids. I really wish it did not have to come to this, but temp orders for custody and her move out has to be done the lawer said. She will get the papers in two weeks and about 10 day after the is the start of hearings.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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He now stepping in, he said i cant be defensive anymore, otherwise i'll be on the losing end and also lose my ablity to keep the custody of the kids.
I really wish it did not have to come to this, but temp orders for custody and her move out has to be done the lawer said. She will get the papers in two weeks and about 10 day after the is the start of hearings. I am sorry, I do not understand why your lawyer would advise your that you need to initiate proceedings or you will lose custody. Did he explain it to you in a way that makes sense to you? If not, stop any proceedings until he does. If he did, do you mind sharing what he said? I would only proceed on that course when you can no longer PlanA. Remember your lawyer is best served by litigating a nasty divorce. Your family is best served by being led with a loving and caring marriage.
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What he said we need to get a temporary parenting plan, but to do that she needs to leave the apartment. From the sounds of getting temporary parenting plan will make it ease to keep in place and prevent her from getting temporary parenting plan in herself.
My lawyer know I am trying to save this marrage, he is also worried my WW might try to have me removed from my apartment. I'll talk to him again.
How much should I risk?
My WW has already started the ball rolling and is trying to skip to the end with a docket motion on the 21st to finalize the divorce.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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I can honestly say my heart is not in it to have my WW move out yet, but on the other hand I feel like I am enabling the affair because she can come and go as she pleases.
My WW keeps talking about how hostile it is living here, and all I can figure out it is her making it hostile.
When it's just me and the kids the place has peace.
My WW is running to the POSOM when the just kids don't listen to her or are throwing a fit. Pretty much everything day kids stuff to me.
I am the oldest of 1 sister and 7 brothers, blended family. I have seen how interactions work. There is bound to be arguments between the kids. It's are job as parents to teach them to work things out.
WW can't stand it when thy don't listen to her every word and pretty much makes things worse because she does not spend the time and show them to how to work things out.
In contrast I have a ton of patiences and she has zero.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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All is fair in love and war. This is a war for your family. You just might save it....you might not...but the battle against evil will never be won if good people don't stand up for truth, light and right. When you grab a sword, grab your shield as well. Wear the Full Armor of God
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his great power. 11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can fight against the devil�s evil tricks. 12 Our fight is not against people on earth but against the rulers and authorities and the powers of this world�s darkness, against the spiritual powers of evil in the heavenly world. 13 That is why you need to put on God�s full armor. Then on the day of evil you will be able to stand strong. And when you have finished the whole fight, you will still be standing. 14 So stand strong, with the belt of truth tied around your waist and the protection of right living on your chest. 15 On your feet wear the Good News of peace to help you stand strong. 16 And also use the shield of faith with which you can stop all the burning arrows of the Evil One. 17 Accept God�s salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 Pray in the Spirit at all times with all kinds of prayers, asking for everything you need. To do this you must always be ready and never give up. Always pray for all God�s people. I just read this and gave me encouragement and just had to post it here.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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I have tried to email Harley about this, I would love to talk to him again. But I have not gotten a response, in fact I never got the book thy were going to mail me 
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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I have forwarded your email to Dr Harley...
JustUss
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I have forwarded your email to Dr Harley... Thanks
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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Hi Ronald,
I generally encourage a husband to avoid a separation, but if an attorney advises it to protect the interests of the husband, I usually go along with the attorney�s advice. What can happen in an affair is that the betrayed husband ends up giving up all of his legal rights in an effort to win his wife back, but then she takes advantage of his generosity and leaves him in worse shape than he would have been if he had defended himself. The time may come after her affair dies a natural death that she wants to work things out with you, and if that time comes, you need to be in reasonably good shape financially and emotionally because she will be a mess financially and emotionally.
Best wishes,
Dr. Harley I just got a reply from Dr. Harley
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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The primary purpose of plan B is to save a betrayed person�s health from the stress of a spouse�s affair. Women are far more susceptible to long-term health problems due to stress than men, so I encourage women to go into plan B after about 3 weeks of plan A. But for men I usually advise them to check their own physical reactions. If they can�t sleep or are losing weight, I recommend plan B (no contact whatsoever). If they are doing okay, I recommend that they stay in plan A even when separated. You should decide based on how you are doing physically and emotionally during this time of tremendous stress for you. I asked Dr. Harley about staying in plan A or move to plan B while separated.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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I sure wish there was away to get thought to my WW, its seems all she wants is to escape.
All this affair stuff is getting old, I keep praying for a glimpse of hope she might come around.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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The primary purpose of plan B is to save a betrayed person�s health from the stress of a spouse�s affair. Women are far more susceptible to long-term health problems due to stress than men, so I encourage women to go into plan B after about 3 weeks of plan A. But for men I usually advise them to check their own physical reactions. If they can�t sleep or are losing weight, I recommend plan B (no contact whatsoever). If they are doing okay, I recommend that they stay in plan A even when separated. You should decide based on how you are doing physically and emotionally during this time of tremendous stress for you. I asked Dr. Harley about staying in plan A or move to plan B while separated. So what are you planning on doing? Plan A or Plan B?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I am sticking with plan A, I am sure I can last a good while longer.
I know plan A will be harder while separated, so I'll just need to plan more and be quick on opportunities aso thy come up.
Any advice will be appreciated going forward.
BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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