You have a lawyer that does not want to work for his money. No BH has been sent to jail for doing the MB plan to kill an affair.

Get a new lawyer because this one is clueless. She doesnt understand the law so she should not Be representing you.

There is no legal recourse against the truth. Sure the WW will scream 'foul.' but telling the truth is 100% defensible in court.

She also reviewed the scenario with another lawyer at the firm and they concurred that it could be detrimental in the end. I guess I just don't know if I'm willing to risk time with my children for it...just seems so risky. Would this ever be a scenario to do a more limited and focused exposure? (I realize this is not what's recommended in Exposure 101).

I may also seek out a new lawyer for a second opinion.

If having an affair is not a problem, then I see no problem you spreading the good news. Why would it be a bad idea. Besides, you would not tell about your source.

I agree get another attorney.
Exposure is not for divorce, it is to break the affair and restore the marriage.

If restoring the marriage is not your goal, then all the intelligence you collect would be useful in establishing patterns and tendencies on why WW is unfit, etc.

Get a new attorney. They are either wayward or chicken.

If it were true and you were called out in court for exposure, you could use Dr Harley's plan in SAA to defend your position. Certainly a judge could not fault you for taking the advice of a clinical psychologist with over 40 years of experience dealing with infidelity, or for doing whatever you could to bust up your wife's affair and save your family.

That being said, in the 5 years I have been here I have yet to read a case where someone was actually called out in court for exposing.

rockerman77,

Your lawyer probably doesn't understand the tone of the exposure you are advised to do. They probably imagine you sending a message to 1000 people saying "My WW is a lying whore!" and making a bunch of threats.

That IS NOT what you are going to do. The tone of your exposure is going to be one of a calm, rational man who is very humble, saddened, and wants to save his marriage by asking for emotional and material support from those who know the parties involved.

On what planet is that going to be viewed by a honest third party as grounds for a restraining order? Restraining orders are for people who make threats.

Tell your lawyer to grow some balls. WE have done thousands of these exposures and NO ONE has ever "risked time with the children over it." GOOD GRIEF. WE HAVE SEEN ADULTERERS RISK TIME WITH THE CHILDREN AND EVEN LOSE CUSTODY OVER THIER ADULTERY. See, lawyers want to facilitate the easiest divorce possible and they don't care about you or your children, so they would naturally prefer that you do nothing to rock the boat. They have no experience, expertise or even concern in helping you from a psychological or marital standpoint.

Find a lawyer with some balls.

Dr. Harley has been at this for 40 and I have been here for 14 years. Never seen that happen!! But I have seen many adulterers penalized and even lose custody of thier children because of their reckless behavior. Their misplaced "concern" should be focused on the adulterer.

Update: canceled the PI for the weekend since I had to stay home and had the only remaining vehicle. However, on Thursday WW went out with a relative at a local bar and posted a pic on FB (around 10 pm). 15 minutes later the GPS pinged at POSOM's house and didn't leave until 1:30 AM. Additionally, a co-worker came to me on Friday morning at work and told me that her husband worked with a person from our town that heard about our separation. The person from our town said "I heard that WW had been seeing a man that then got engaged so now she's moved on to his friend". Can I trust rumors of this sort?? I have no clue why this person would have any reason to lie about the situation. Do

I'm devastated. I'm seriously considering filing for divorce. I deserve better than this. However, I badly want to confront her. I just want to say "I have solid evidence that you're having an affair with so-and-so, and it's time for the truth."

Had the conversation with WW. No surprise she wants a divorce. She says that this current guy is just friends (but she does like him *barf*) and they've both agreed that they need to back off....like that will happen. Either way, I sent him a Facebook message telling him to stay away from my family. But, to be honest, It's hard for me to care at this point. WW also admitted "I think I have a lot of issues" and "You're right I have issues with boundaries." Then she also went on to admit that she has been "infatuated with" other men online over the course of the past few years. So, she feels it's time to move on. I almost feel that way too considering she's basically now said that she has problems and is seemingly unwilling to fix them.

Hey Rockerman,
This is indeed, terribly insulting behavior by your WW. If you decide to divorce, no one will fault that decision. I urge you though to make that decision dispassionately. That is probably impossible right now, today.

My ExWW was an unrepentant serial cheater, and it was completely liberating to escape from that. At the same time, that is not what I wanted for my two kids.

I'd suggest you take a couple days to gain some perspective and decide what you want the future to look like. Tell us what it is and we will help you work with making a plan and working the plan.

Maybe touch base with the forum once a day until you decide just so we know you are working on that.

Stay healthy my friend.