This week our neighbor's dog killed my beloved therapeutic lap dog. The next day, my husband tells me how much he hated my dog and I we'll never have another one again.

I've cried myself to sleep the past 3 nights and still crying for the loss of my pet. I'm angry. When he told me we weren't getting another one, I mentioned that wasn't part of the joint agreement. In fact, I'm angry at him for not being there emotionally for me at all.

Before we were married, he promised to buy me a monkey because I wanted one. I don't need or want a monkey now but what happened to his compassion or caring about my emotional needs or wants? In fact, our first puppy was the same type of puppy as my therapeutic dog and it was his idea.

How is there a joint agreement with a pet when one spouse feels that can't function without it and the other doesn't want it?

Feeling unimportant.

The Policy of Joint Agreement: Never do anything without an enthusiastic agreement between you and your spouse.

Getting a new dog when your husband doesn't want one would be the violation of the POJA. The default is do nothing -- you do not get a new dog.

You can negotiate together to find an alternative that you would both be happy about, but in order to do that your marriage needs to be free of lovebusters. It sounds like you still struggle with lovebusters, though, so I would suggest the two of you read through the book "Lovebusters" and work on eliminating demands, disrespect and angry outbursts before attempting to negotiate. You might also check out the book "He
Wins, She Wins."

Read: The Policy of Joint Agreement

Are the two of you getting 15 hours of undivided attention every week?

In addition to what Prisca posted to you, please listen to the radio clips in here.
Radio Show of the Basic Concepts