My wife had an affair with a co-worker/supervisor, I found out yesterday and she told me she needed TIME to decide who she wants to be with. I've started communication in order work through this. I've admitted my emotional absence and financial burdens I've caused by not spending within our means.
Prior to my discovery we discussed her unhappiness and her wanting TIME to figure out how to fix us. Since then I discovered and confronted the affair which she partially admits to.(claim of no sex, only hugging n kissing, which I know about the sex) She admitted that she is now in love with us both and needs TIME to figure out who she wants to be with because she will hurt one of us even more.
I told her I don't want her to leave and I'm not leaving because I want to work it out. Basically I'm looking for a duration of how much TIME I should give her because plan a of six months is not reasonable to me and considering they work together? Financially this is difficult because we need her job now. She did say that if I'm chosen she will quit so that's why I'm confused on my duration given to her.
I also want to know if during our truthful open conversation I should make her reveal all the gruesome details of their sexual encounters?

Hi NG, welcome to marriage builders. You are in a very unique position in that you have the other man by the balls. His career is in your hands. All you have to do is squeeze. The way you do this is by exposing the affair to the authorities at your wife's company. Please go read the exposure instructions at the link in my signature.

Your greatest fear should be that she doesn't lose this job, because you don't have a marriage if she doesn't. The only way to save it is if she leaves. Otherwise, you are going to get divorced. So choose which one you want: your marriage or her little job. You can't have both.

Your wife is waiting to make a "decision," she has already decided to keep you both. Therefore your mission is to blow up the affair through exposure and run this piece of crap off.

Is the OM married?

He has a fianc�.
My wife is also a supervisor that's what makes it tough for me bc we have a child and her income is for my child so causing her to lose it right now would only hurt my child.
Any advice on the previous question about our conversation content?

If your wife continues to work with the OM, the affair will continue and your marriage will end. This will be more devastating to your child than the lose of a job.

The only people you should be conversing with should be: the Director of Human Resources, a key Vice President, both of their supervisors, the OM's fiance, his family and friends and your family and friends.

What will hurt your child is your upcoming divorce. If you want to choose her little job over your marriage, then be prepared to lose EVERYTHING: the marriage and the job. She won't support you when you are divorced, I assure you. You will be kicked to the curb.

If you want to protect your child, then you should fight for your marriage and stop being an enabler.

When it comes to affairs between a supervisor and a subordinate, you as the BS of the subordinate are really in the driver's seat. I know, because this is the type of affair my wife had. The supervisor has everything to fear from you. He is totally vulnerable. He and the company can even be sued for this, and he knows it. This makes the affair quite easy to break up.

Exposure is the tool. Don't negotiate, just use it. Follow ML's advice. Don't wait for your WW in her fogged out state to do anything. In the long run, she will thank you for rescuing her from the web she has found herself entangled in.