I told her nothing was stopping her. I think I need to go into plan b, I'm wore out physically and mentally. Just sucks I gave my whole heart and soul to that girl for 21years through times when most men would've walked away. Especially sucks for my 4 kids.

You have given this your best shot. Now its time to take care of yourself for your kids! If you will go into a dark plan B, you will feel amazingly better than you have in a matter of a few weeks.

I would send her a Plan B letter as outlined in SAA. Set up an intermediary who can screen out any non pertinent communication from her. Are you familiar with Plan B?

I'm going to do dark plan B, I need to. I will look at the plan again to familiarize myself. I will also send her the letter... Thank you for the input MelodyLane

Sorry about your divorce.

The Plan B template from SAA is in here.
How to Plan B Correctly

So I have a couple questions. I'm not fully in plan b yet, but over weekend heard from some mutual friends on how my ex wife has been saying her and the OM meet. Lol, what a joke she's been saying it was after she was out of house and filed for divorce. 1st question is Do I expose again to everyone of their friends on both of their Facebook accounts before I delete mine? Or do I just ignore it? 2nd question OM has been text messaging my 11 year old daughter saying how pretty she is and if she has a boy in her life. Not sure how to handle that? Or if I'm overreacting? At least her answer was her dad Thanks for any advice, past month has been very hard for me.

I would go so far as to contact the POLICE. He is GROOMING your daughter! I would not be surprised if he's a pedophile and thats the beginning of his grooming her. Call the police.

No, you are not over reacting. At the least, he has proven he has inappropriate boundaries with little girls. (what grown man texts a little girl!?!) at worst, he is a pedophile. He has already proven himself a predator with your wife. Read 'Identifying Child Molesters' by Carol Van Dam.

Small boundary violations like this are how pedophiles test the child and adults to see how much he or she can get away with.

Have you done a background check on OM?

I have only looked him up on ccap court records, I believe the social worker in my divorce custody battle did background checks. I need to check into it.

YIKES.

What everyone else said. I would take this very seriously. He might just have bad boundaries. But that is downright creepy. Inappropriate at any age, but she's 11 years old. "You're pretty. ...is there a boy in your life?" WTH? Can you imagine saying or texting that to any 11 year old girl you know?

Keep a copy of that text. Keep all texts.

I would call the police like suggested and talk to your attorney about a restraining order. I would not want any of my children around this at best highly inappropriate person. (At worst, God only knows, and you don't want to find out.)

Just sitting here off the top of my head I thought of 3 people I know who were molested and I found out many years later.

ONE was one of my step daughters from my first marriage and the guy who did it? You guessed it - the mom's boyfriend. I remember one time he came with no warning to pick up the kids to "surprise" her. (Odd since she made no effort to see them on her own.) When he was putting them in the car her "affectionately" rubbed one of them on the back for a second. She is not the one he molested and doesn't remember anything weird about him today. But I remember something about the way he did it gave me the heebie jeebies. I hugged and patted these kids all the time, but there was just something about the way he touched her that set off alarms in my head. I figured I was just paranoid.

I can never look at a person and think THEY would be a pedophile. But we know some of them are. And what better way to gain access to a child than to date her mom? Protect your children.

Yes you do. And report him texting your DD11. That is so inappropriate and you need to protect your DD11.

Can you find out if any complaints have been filed even if no charges were pressed?

Oh, yeah, OMs texting your daughter is definitely creepy. Maybe you can visit the Dr. Phil show's website for the show from yesterday. Jared (Subway) talked for years with a woman who was helping to trap pedophiles. If you heard the audiotapes ---- you might get sick. OM IS grooming your daughter.
Your ex wife cannot think clearly and will not protect your children. It's up to you.
As to exposure at this point - You need to re-do it. Your ex wife is trying to re-write history. Don't let that happen. There are four young people depending on your courage to dare to anger their mother.
Do everything you can to keep that *#@! away from the kids.

If I found my WW POSOM was doing this to my daughter, I would be doing everything legally possible and try to get a restraining order to keep as far away from my daughter's as I could.

And I would be paying him a person visit let him have a piece of my mind. It's bad enough to have a affair with a married woman. This guy has not morals and as far as I see it is a huge threat to your kids.

Oh I would turn in him into child services. not sure if thy can do anything but worth a shot.

I would block his phone number so he can't message her.

Do whatever you can to make sure this man is nowhere near your daughter ever. Call the police and talk to an attorney. Take every step possible to protect her.