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Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 3 |
My story is we have been married 13 years and together 16 we have 2 children 9&3 .My wife approached me in June of this year and said she wanted out of marriage, I found out about 2 guys she had been messaging on the wonderful facebook.The one guy is out of the picture as she has him blocked and such but the other guy an ex boyfriend from 20 years ago. I found inappropriate messages and that has stopped but the communication between them hasnt stopped all summer and now she is changing phone numbers in verizon site to show different number to try and throw me off .she says she loves me wants to be with me and such but cant stop talking to this guy,she has admitted she gets satisfaction from telling him stuff about our marriage our sex life etc.I have threatened to leave twice and never followed through and she said oh it will go away but hasnt I log on to phone records and walla I find it,Now she is having health issues and I just dont know what the hell to do going out of my way to support her like a loving husband should but find it difficult to go the extra mile when she just continues talking to this guy once a week and few texts she says they never have been intimate but he loves her I personally think he wants to uust get her into bed but I think there is more to it she says no.My wife just has the attitude she is here with me and loves me so I should just stop snooping and ignore it.. I cant ignore it ... I feel she is being very disrespectful of me ,our marriage, our kids.. I am a great guy if we have health issues and we need the health insurance or what not but ... we tried marriage counseling that lasted 2 sessions, she dont want to talk about anything just ignore and go along the way things are.. I am at my wits end!!!!
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Hi freigtman, welcome to Marriage Builders. Sorry for the reasons that have brought you here. Your best strategy will be to expose the affair and run off the OM. Please go read the thread in my signature and come back and lets talk.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 3 |
Her family knows mine knows but she says they are just friends and she is using him as an ego booster.. She has said numerous times it will go away but hasnt. I am sick of the attitude of its no big deal and because they arent sleeping together its no big deal says she doesn't want to 6 with him in that way.. she loves me and such.. she told me once to block him on verizon I told her She has to want to not contact him. I figure if I do that she will switch to Facebook which is harder for me to monitor. Like I said at my wits end and now She is having health issues and I am trying to be Supporting. It almost seems like a battle of the wills. I say if she love me you dont hurt someone you love by doing things to hurt them,she says she thinks its stupid and dumb that it drives me crazy. ..
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6 |
Is the OM married?
Who have you exposed to on OM's side?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 3 |
Yes and she claims his marriage is rocky but doesnt think he is going to leave his wife... ..
She claims she wants to be with me and the kids and loves our life the last time I came home rrom work and started packing my bag at first she was pissed and basically tried to guilt me with waking out on the kids but then she changed her tune and wanted me to stay ,but she wants to be able to chit chat with this guy after I discovered the sexual messages and a few photos...she doesn't get it and personally she is a very selfish person and she is having her cake and eating it to..
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Her family knows mine knows but she says they are just friends and she is using him as an ego booster.. She has said numerous times it will go away but hasnt. I am sick of the attitude of its no big deal and because they arent sleeping together its no big deal says she doesn't want to 6 with him in that way.. she loves me and such.. she told me once to block him on verizon I told her She has to want to not contact him. I figure if I do that she will switch to Facebook which is harder for me to monitor. Like I said at my wits end and now She is having health issues and I am trying to be Supporting. It almost seems like a battle of the wills. I say if she love me you dont hurt someone you love by doing things to hurt them,she says she thinks its stupid and dumb that it drives me crazy. .. Did you read the exposure thread? I don't believe for one minute that all her family and your family have all the facts about the affair and don't care. That doesn't make any sense. Sure, some family members don't care, but not 2 families. Haven't ever seen that happen in my 14 years here. Again, I would ask you to read the exposure thread and follow the instructions. That is your best chance.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Yes and she claims his marriage is rocky but doesnt think he is going to leave his wife... DID YOU EXPOSE TO THE OM'S WIFE?? DID YOU EXPOSE TO THE OM'S FACEBOOK FRIENDS? DID YOU EXPOSE TO THE OM'S PARENTS AND FAMILY?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 790 Likes: 4
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Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 790 Likes: 4 |
Yes and she claims his marriage is rocky but doesnt think he is going to leave his wife... .. They shouldn't be discussing his (or your) marriage. Huge red flag. the last time I came home rrom work and started packing my bag Don't leave your house. Did you read "start here first"? http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2695379#Post2695379 Expose (thread in Mel's sig). Plan A. Do not leave your house.
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