Ron,
I have been following your thread and I just wanted to lend my support, you are doing a great job, the patience in all this sometimes is the hard part. It's not for nothing believe me she sees the difference.......
in every relationship there are times when one of us has to carry the other one to the right side of things this is your turn. Keep that smile on your face, make home her soft place to land..............

Thanks for your support, I can say I would not be in plan A without support.
I am always questioning my decisions and hope I am doing the right thing.
One thing I really hated to do is turn in my WW for pushing my step daughter out the door and hard enough for her fall down the stairs, but I have to protect my family and kids.
I know it's going to make her mad but I hope in the end she will see her behavior for what it is and I was there keeping the kids safe in the mist of all this.

Good job on your plan A.

Has anything come of you reporting your WW for pushing your stepdaughter?

A social worker stopped by, and my WW told me she told the social worker my step daughter just walked out and satdown one the steps. My step daughter said thy did not ask her about what happend.

I do have to say it's put my WW on notice, because today my WW and her daughter started to argue and she dragged her to the door and said get out, then she changed her tune right after she said that.

I guess I am doing something right my WW really hates me for fighting this divorce and seeking right over the step daughter.

I am getting to the point I am sick of my WW actions and I just want her to leave. And maybe some peace will come back in my life.

Disappointing that they did not talk to the child. On the other hand, the girl knows you are trying to protect her.
I hope your ww comes to her senses before it's too late to repair the marriage.

I know, but it's on record I guess.
A friend on mine things I need to deal with my WW much harder. Lay down the law and when she starts yelling at the step daughter call the cops, also he things I should get a restraining order before she really flips out.

As of right know she wants to leave at all costs take and take the kids. She is even pushing me out when the kids need discipline.

I can say I am done with her verbal abuse, disrespect and getting angry and not saying what's wrong.

Hi Ron,
Keep up the good work in Plan A.

Also if you are at a disadvantage since your step daughter is legally in your custody, you can ask the court to appoint a guardian ad litem.

You are demonstrating with your deeds that you are the husband and father your family needs.

A update on things, my WW found a lawyer and is going to fight my parentage case. I found a email to the lawyer for discovery to summarize.

she is blaming me for her daughters anger towards her saying I tell her everything that goes on. I don't take care of the kids and leave the apartment a mess and don't help with anything and ignore her and the kids. And how I am hurting her and the kids. How she is trying to keep her kids safe. Oh I been harassing her friends about the divorce and how I am very manipulation person by making her dinners and then turning her daughter against her.

That summary of a page she sent to the lawyer. I'll be more than glad to post it if you want to read it and it's ok.
I wish there is more I can do in plan A, but at this point I am not sure what is going to received or not.

Last night I noticed I big red mark left on my step daughter arm from my WW grabbing her and dragging her to the door on Saturday. My WW was dragging her and telling her to get out and then stop at the door and changed how she was dealing with the situation.

And all this started because I was going to run some errands and asked if she could come along. My WW got all angry but would not tell me or her daughter when she was asking what was the problem.

Did you take pictures of her arm and document this?

Oh yes, and told my lawyer. The unfortunate part is I am in a holding pattern over the de facto parentage really gets started. Then I can take more action over my step daughter.

I keep asking why, it does not seem right the way she treats her. All I can think of is she is smart and keeps pointing to the lies her mom spouts.

Good job. I'm so glad she has you there for her while her mom is in the fog.

Also I wouldn't put too much into what she is telling her lawyer. She is still wayward and waywards lie.

Keep up the good fight.

It really seems backwards for a step parent to keep step kids safe.
Even my lawyer gave me a compliment for when I'm doing.

I am take his complement as a big deal. I would never expect that from a lawyer.

I hope some day my WW will see my actions as protecting the family and not out to hurt her.

Well guys I am not sure we're to go from here.I was just dealt a blow. I am not what's going on with my WW, but I just found out she made a dating profile.

It's getting sadder and sadder.

I wouldn't worry too much over that Ron, she is probably not getting what she wants from her affair partner. At this point she is too proud to return home. Ultimately, I think that the pressure you have been putting on the affair with exposure and your Plan A are allowing her to see that the POSOM isn't all that. The experience she has with the "dating" sites will likely leave her feeling as used and unfulfilled as her time with the POSOM.

Just be ready to do an exposure on all the "dates" she ends up with.

Like how? At least she is being honest and saying soon to be divorced.

So do I keep dragging this out as long as possible? I am just felling the hurt all over again. I cried going to sleep and cried on my way to work.

So far it seems my plan A stuff flowers, having a dinner waiting for her. She made a statement to her lawyer I am every manipulated person by doing all this stuff.

I know this is a long fight and right now it seems really dark.

seeing her getting text messages ever few secs and smiling over them like she use to do with me, really has restarted all the hurt, and it seems the longer this goes on the less and less support i am getting. my family, her dad, a few of my friends.
I am not willing to stop yet but its been a big discouragement.
and she still is making demands which adds the the whole matter.

Is there any good meterial on how to pray effectively? i feel that all i have left and for her spiritual future.

I know how it hurts to see your spouse all involved in text messages from someone else. Went through it for a loooong time.
Prayer? If you are a Christian, do it on your knees, in the room with the door closed. Talk to G-d like He is listening. (He IS.)

First, thank Him for all the blessings he gives you. (The kids, your life, living in a free country, your health). Ask him for help restoring your marriage. Last, "Your Will Be Done." Because He is in control.

[My 2 cents. Hope it's ok.]

Well I wanted to get in to prayer deeper, my bossed recommended me "Prayer" by Timothy Keller. I am going to order the book and go through it to start with.

I am just wondering how much hope there is for my WW to come around at this point. It seems she on the thrill of talking to and going out as if she is single. Even the 10year old is felling like her mom is neglect the family and her mon is just not all that safe.

I am starting to wonder if my WW even feel pain by the way she acts and treats me and the 10 year old.

Last night my 10 year step daughter asked if her mom was texting me, because she been texting all day. I said just a few before she went to work and showed her the messages.

Hey, Ron,

Are you listening to the Marriage Builders Radio program so that you can understand how marriages do and do not turn around and recover from this point?

I try to listen everyday. I guess the hard part is plan A and she thinks your trying to be manipulative and she thinks acting single is a cool thing to do.
I was hoping to see some change, I am just not good change, just more entrenchment in this thing of hers.

I would love to spend time/do things with her, I just get shut out. I luck if she does not leave from watching TV when I sit down. I am not talking about the divorce or relationships. Mostly what's going with the kids and work.
I keep asking if we can go do stuff together and she says I am busy or I want to spend the time with the kids.

It seems she put herself in this fortress and will not let me visit for fear things will get better in the relationship.