I know WS is mad...but he was almost more ambivalent.

How long after exposure does it take for the affair to implode. Because while I could only send to 10 people...those 10 people will undoubtedly talk to others...office gossip kinda thing...so I'm hoping it spreads like wildfire.

I'm scared of fallout. OW friends were livid. Said OW was gonna sue me for slander...tho I said nothing slanderous and OW never mentioned that. But it's scary thinking about potential ramifications.

They are blowing smoke. Truth is not slander. I would print the conversation from both of them via his FB so the date and time stamps are included. It is further proof of the affair.

Oh heck ya...I did...incl her part owning it. She claims that after they had sex she found out he is married and she urged him to tell me. Yuck. Who knows...but it didn't deter her from continuing with him despite her claims that she doesn't make it a habit of sleeping with married men. Gross. And she claims she just can't help her feelings for him but neither said love...and WS said nothing about his feelings for her...which after exposure I would've thought he would want to emphasize in retribution for the exposure letter.

I was on such a high yesterday and today about exposing...now I'm feeling down...why is that?

I felt so hopeful...now I'm just kinda blah...weird. I suppose it's normal.

OW is livid? (lol)
Stay strong and let anyone who says anything about her suing you hear this

"I will counter sue her for alienation of affection". (even if it isn't allowed in your state....you are not weak nor to be threatened.)

This is text book reaction to being exposed. Wayward and OW become quite nasty in reaction EVERY single time.

You hit bullseye! Good girl!

Thanks. I feel dumb as I was only able to tell 10 of their coworkers of hundreds. But I hope office gossip does rest for me. And they have no idea who I told. Some went straight to them....others said it was wrong to air dirty laundry publicly...others were shocked and had no idea...but office gossip is still office gossip.

But I still feel sad. WS has no intention of ever coming back even if OW leaves him. He IMd me right away. While I was still sending out the message. He even had the balls to let OW IM me from his acct at one point. She has remorse....but clearly not enough to leave my husband alone...prolly cuz he is back peddling something fierce on all the info my exposure letter contained that she did NOT know.

Don't let this worry you! It's textbook behavior and talk.

Stick to your guns and don't weaken now. You're doing fine!

Alwayslooking up? KEEP looking up!!!

God Bless,

Thank you older wiser. I know it's not a quick fix...if ever...but oh to be a fly on the wall in their conversation after that exposure letter hit. I've gone dark again...but then again...he went dark before I ever did. It's just no fun...this ugly weird unstable place I'm in...but I know that at this point...I've done all I can and its now firmly in the Lords hands now...as it's always been...but I've done everything humanly possible and I can hold my head high with dignity and grace.

This is the most important part! You have your dignity and did not sell yourself out!

You will eventually find a new "normal." It won't be "life as I knew it" before A was exposed....but it's a new normal. Life will go on, the sun will still rise, and you will find a way to keep slogging along day after day. This is a guarantee. It's just one more way any Affair affects lives.

This is the good part of Plan B. It gives you time to focus on YOUR needs, and build yourself up, and find a way to cope and begin to heal. You're not caught up in all the drama. Enjoy it! Embrace it! This is YOUR time. Use it to get yourself stabalized and strong.

Life will eventually look "normal" again, and you will find ways to cope and continue doing the things that need to get done. Your WS will just have to figure out what he's gotten himself into. And he'll do it by himself! In the meantime, remember that God's got you firmly by the hand!

God Bless,

What are you doing this week to better enjoy your life? Out with female friends, see the doctor for ADs, change your cell phone and other contact info, exercise,shop for a new apartment, etc. plan B is about taking care of you.

I don't do much for me...don't feel like doing much. I talk on phone to my friends and family. Take my son back and forth to his stuff..etc...but not much. For me I've been focusing on better eating and lost 35lbs...which feels great. I would like to hop on treadmill...but most days I find an excuse not to. Sigh.

Have you changed all your contact information?

Go exercise, it will help you feel so much better and plan a dinner or outing with a friend.

No I've not changed any contact info. My cell...email and home phone are all the same.

If OW had Facebook why couldn't you find her family to expose to? I know she shut it down (for now), but before you exposed did you capture her contact list?

This is a workplace affair, correct? Why didn't you expose properly as it says in the exposure thread?

Since your WH is violent why haven't you changed all your contact information to protect yourself?

Yes I could see her FB list but was unable to see who was her family sine her last name is her former married last name.

I didn't expose to work because I need him employed to pay the truck which is in my name and which he will have to refinance into his name solely or I will have an even bigger problem on my hands. Even Harley cautions against workplace exposure...to think it through. Which I have. Trust me...if his coworkers spread it around as I imagine they will...eventually it will get to a supervisor. If they get fired that way so be it.

I have not changed any contact info because the RO is still in effect and I don't find it necessary to do so at this time.

When did he say that? I have been here for 15 years and listen to the radio show every day. Did he make this change yesterday? I missed the end of the show. He has always recommended workplace exposure unless the WS is willing to put in their resignation and leave the job within 30 days. That is the ONLY condition under which it should not be exposed at work.

I don't know your full story, but has your husband put in his 30 day notice?

Right, that advice only applies to a repentant wayward to give them a brief chance to find a new job.