Not yet.

To date I am still acquiescing to her desire to prove it isn't a drinking problem or alcoholism.

Not yet.

To date I am still acquiescing to her desire to prove it isn't a drinking problem or alcoholism.

A drinking problem is defined by drinking that causes a problem. That has already been established. That is why we are having this conversation. So playing along with her ploy only serves to give credence to something you know is not true.

I've already stated I'm pretty certain she has a drinking problem and she can't control it. Your next step is mandate the drinking stop or separate. I'm not prepared to do that just yet.

I am responding to the letter that you wrote.

First off: You said that you would like me to seek professional help and that you are not happy with the plan that I made.

This is a perfect example of what I was trying to tell you that you do that I would love it if it were changed.
You told me that you did not like my getting drunk and drinking all of the time. I agreed and came up with a plan that I thought that I could do and would meet your request to not drink all of the time and not get drunk.
At first you seemed to agree with it and I was very happy but then you decided that you didn�t like my plan
And thought it should be different because you saw some �red flags�. I am not perfect. I am trying very hard
And thought that I was doing really well. I told you that I would still like to drink because I like to go out and
Have a few but that it would now be just that�.a few. I am sure there will be times that I have more than you
Think I should but remember, I have to want to do this or it will not be successful. Either way if I continue
Like I did last week to not drink during the week and only a few on the weekends I would think that would
Be a big change and feel that you should be ok with that because it gets us both what we want. I know that
You don�t want to drink but that is you, not me. I am also aware that, as I told you, if I can�t keep it under
Control then maybe I will need to seek help but since it has only been a week, and I stuck to the plan that I
Had, I do not think that I need outside help. Changes are not going to happen overnight. This will take time.

Like I said this, is an example of the fact that when you want to make changes you want them done your way or they do not seem to be good enough. I understand your concern that I have a problem, I am working on that problem, and if my way does not work would be willing to consider a different approach. I would love it if that could be good enough. You commented that I was not putting you first if I did not do it your way. I do not think that is fair. I feel that this is putting you first without out me loosing myself in the deal. I enjoy hanging with friends and having a few but I let that get way out of hand and am trying to change that. So far I have been successful but I need your support, not criticism to continue. Isn�t the fact that it has changed for the better the ultimate goal anyway?


You said that you had found your re-attraction and desire to me even though my appearance is not what you would like it to be and now are looking for SF. It has only been a week and I am sorry that I don�t yet feel that we are close enough that this would be an option. Right now it would feel like�.hey I decided that I want this to work, spread em��.i know that sounds crass and that it is your way of feeling close but we have both spend a long time closed off towards each other and I just am not quite ready to take it to the next level. Can we just give all of this some time?

Hopefully you understand what I am trying to say that I need. I am very glad that we are working on this and hope we can find a way to make this work that makes us both happy.

Once again, how can we help?

And how do I get her to agree that it is a drinking problem? I can't.

And how do I get her to agree that it is a drinking problem? I can't. I'd hazard to guess that she would argue that point. I know that she doesn't fully incorporate POJA like Dr Harley would recommend we do. Despite the counseling she prefers to pick the parts of the program or levels in which one incorporates the MB program. Remember she doesn't like people telling her what she should do (FYI today's radio show is hitting on this. I'm listening.)

I've already stated I'm pretty certain she has a drinking problem and she can't control it. Your next step is mandate the drinking stop or separate. I'm not prepared to do that just yet.

Also, they talked about it yesterday too.

Thanks Apples. The Android MB Radio app didn't list the days so so far I haven't been able to listen.