When you have your question and answer session, i would ask him how their affair ended.

Such great news! Yes, hopefully he will come with you on your trip. The two of you should not be apart now.

I asked him to go to with me. He was very happy I asked and had been thinking about it before I asked. Said he had even considered doing that while he was travelling and told his brother he might be back shortly after Christmas.

He said he has a few meeting with potential clients set up for people that are coming to town for Christmas. So, he would not be able to leave on Tuesday but is looking at coming after Christmas and being there with me.

I knew of the meetings, so I do think that is true (saw the emails in our company email account).

I said that the other option is cancelling until he can go. He felt strongly that I should see my mom now. She is 75 and having more and more health issues. He thinks I should be there for this Chrismtas in case I do not get another chance. He said he will do want he can to be there with me as much as he can.

ML, that question is first on my list! He did say that the template letter was along the same vain. Maybe that is why he was ok with sending it.

If he does come, say a day or so after Christmas, do you think that works?

No, he needs to be there. I am unimpressed with a man who can galavant away from home for about 2 months but now cant take two extra days to be with his wife. Your marriage should be priority number one. He needs to reschedule his meetings.

Remember that you have to see, approve, and YOU mail the NC Letter so that YOU know that the letter was not only sent but that the letter that was sent was the letter that you saw and approved.

Dr Harley says no nights apart. What part of NO do you not understand is it the N or the O? Or is it when you put the N and the O together?

NO means NO.

You tell your WH no more nights apart ever. The both of you will leave together as soon as his appointments are finished. Stand firm.

Idea: is it possible to change your trip by a few days? I have to work right up to Christmas also. My H and I have decided to have a romantic Christmas for two before flying to visit family the day after. Would something like that work for you?

We realize these plans can be difficult to xan be difficult this close to the holiday, but this could be the Christmas you save your marriage.

Also, if you are moving, should he be meeting with new clients at your current location? Would it make more sense to start looking for work/clients at the new location?

I have a bad feeling about this. Where is the OW?

In Alaska, I would guess construction is VERY seasonal, occuring mostly in summer when OW is there. Since he used his variable work schedule to hide the affair, Y'all need to be out of there before Spring is over. (Honestly, I'd have trouble with any job allowing so much unaccounted for time IIWY.)

Me too. Who has construction meetings on Christmas eve and Day?

You are all right. This is more important.

I just talked to him about it. Told him that it is very important to me that we follow the plan and not be apart. That his original answer was concerning about our ability to recover.

He seemed to genuinely feel bad and said he did want to do anything to put us at risk. He also said that he was gratful I said something about it and that I need to be sure to keep telling him these things as we begin this journey- we both need to-so he can give me what I need to be happy and I can do the same for him.

So, he is currently rescheduling his 23rd and 26th meetings to after the trip. In the winter, he does mostly custom concrete countertops. That is what these meetings were.

Anyway, I am looking for a ticket for him that gets him in the same day I get there. Return is easier, not same flight but close.

Now, I need to tell my family. Any suggestions how I can tell them in a way that might help them be supportive? They have had the brunt of my tears, so it might be hard for them.

As far as I know POSOW is in WA. We will be staying far from there!

Apples-Funny you should mention being out of here by Spring. He suggested the same thing so he could be somewhere new to start working for the 2016 construction season. He is looking for jobs in a few states we are interested in.

We are getting closer to be ready to list the house. And, I found out Wednesday, the hiring official for a job in MT is doing reference checks on me. Maybe we will be out of here before Spring if that works out!

yeah!!! Tell your family that he has returned on bended knee and asked to reconcile. Tell them that you have set pretty strict conditions and he has agreed to them all. I would also tell your husband that it will go a long way if he uses this opportunity to apologize to your family. He has put them through hell too and he can now assure them that he will not hurt you anymore.

Great advice. Told both my parents like you suggested and they were good with it. My mom is the matriarch of her family so everyone else should be easy and she had them filled in in less than 15 minutes.

Now I need to tell my cousins on my Dad's side and hope it goes as well.

We are going to surprise his parents.

Ticket secured and we are ready.

This feels pretty good.

SO VERY HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!

I am so super super happy and hopefull for you. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

I can not thank all of you enough. Things are going very well on our vacation together.

Spending 24 hrs a day together has given us a lot to time for meaningful conversations and do fun things together. That has helped both of us feel much closer.

He said he last saw POSOW the day before he flew back. He said he told her that he could not "do this anymore" and that he was going back to me to work on the marriage. Not exactly MB w�rthy, but it seemed to make her a little crazy according to H. In any case, I wrote and he signed the template MB letter ending it, I mailed it before I left.

POSOW has called and texted him, but I had the phone and she was blocked. Guess she figured that out so is now calling BIL and SIL and throwing a fit. BIL told H about it and he told me. Since she is their BFF, I fear BIL and SIL are taking her side - no proof, just a hunch. Hopefully that is not the case. But, neither one said a word to me during this, just one snotty reply to E. Yet another reason to move.

I have been checking spyware, just in case and so far so good. I have seen some very nice messages about us to other people which makes me feel good.

He did say he still thinks about her on occasion but that happens less each day and he seems to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I know from this site, he is like a drug addict going through withdrawls, so this is not unexpected. But, we are moving in the right direction.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.

Happy New Year!

Looks like I was a bit of a fool. When it came time to fly back to Alaska, H did not come with me. I delayed my return as much as I could but he did not come and did not know when he would be ready to come back. I had to choose between losing my job (I am sole support for us, he is making zero) or come back alone.

Since I came back about 2 weeks ago, we had been talking, texting, FaceTiming and doing ok. I told myself we were just not reconciling and more like a weird Plan a. Then last Friday, I got a normal text text from him about 11 am then nothing. No response to my two texts and two calls. Even after a 7.1 earthquake close enough that the house was rocking like nothing I have ever seen!

I called him on Monday about 2pm, he answers and acts normal. I had just found out I did not get the job I MT so I was upset, he was nice but was working with his dad at a job site so could not say much. Said he would call later.

Did not call until this morning. Acts filpent and friendly. I said I missed him very much and he said something like- that must be hard. I said something about oh you don't miss me, I see. He laughed and said what a jerk he was. He was nice and friendly but not husband like.

Needless to say the double whammy has me back in tears. I know I strayed from MB by being apart. I had to either pay our bills or quit my job when he is not making any money other than a few bucks with his dad.

On top of all this, I ran over his phone when we were on vacation so I no longer have tracking or snooping ability.

He is at his parents house. Looks like he may have a concrete countertops job down there and a led on another one. So, he is planning to stay as long as he has work.

Not sure is OW is back in the picture or not. If he is not going to try then does it matter?

I know I messed up. What do I do now?

Hoping the vets drop by.

noone, I am so sorry to read this. You most certainly are not a fool! I would go back into a dark Plan B and just stay separated. I don't think he is serious at all.

So sorry, dear.