Hello all,
This is a somewhat long story, I'll try to keep it brief.
Over 1 1/2 years ago my wife started an affair with a coworker. I found out nearly one year ago, from texts from the OM (they were in a fight and he wanted to get back at her). He spilled the beans and told me more than I wanted to know.
Needless to say, I was devastated. I confronted her and she admitted and said she wanted to work on our marriage.
Fast forward a year, and she is still seeing him. I have exposed her affair to friends and most of our families. I have not told the children, as I don't think it would be good for them (they are young). They have an on again/off again relationship (from what she tells me), and seem very volatile. He has expressed to her his frustration with the situation as well. He seems (from what she shares with me) like he treats her like crap and calls her names, etc. which I have NEVER done.
She will not make up her mind to stay or go.
I am at my breaking point, having given this a full year and trying to follow all of Dr. Harley's advice. I have offered her nothing but forgiveness and love, but all I get in return is anger and vitriol. I managed to get her to go to MC once, but that was all she would commit to.
We both work full schedules, and are not home together very much as our jobs take us away from home. That is where her affair continues, on trips out of town with the OM.
The OM will not stop pursuing her, and I think they are both addicted to each other, as the intrigue and secrecy are still a factor.
My wife and I have not been intimate in a year now, and she won't even undress in front of me. She tells me she loves him, and has expressed guilt.
How long can I go on like this? This has been the most painful year ever, and I'm at my breaking point. I know ultimatums are not good at fixing a relationship, but she seems content to keep this going on indefinitely. I know most of the times they see each other and it eats me up inside. I'm trying to hang on for the family, but am getting the feeling that it may be healthier to just move on.
