Someone is the acting Commander in your H's location. You should be talking with that person. A meeting with a SGT, a person with no have command authority over your husband, may not produce results, either in curtailing the affair or ensuring your financial support.

What attorney did you talk to? Military JAG? The IG is not an attorney.

Please answer Mel's question that she has now asked twice. Has your husband ever hit you?

My husband is very upset with me - he said I would never ever see him again for doing this to him. He thinks he will get kicked out of the military for an affair and non-support.

They think he is not supporting me properly because they asked me some questions about it. So I guess they will try to find out more about it. Once long time ago but typically throws away/breaks stuff.

I do not know who is the acting Commander. Not military JAG. Not one in my area.

Now I feel like I am the worst person in the world for doing this to him. He told me I am stupid to involve the military with his affair and that it causes only problems and nothing good comes out of this. Now, if he gets kicked out he will not be able to get a federal job. He mentioned he will be coming tomorrow. They won't stop the affair. They will cause a lot more trouble than that. How do I look now in his face? Like the worst person in the world to be doing this to him, to cause him dishonorable discharge. The AP - she is now staying by his side agreeing how horrible of a thing I have done to him and supporting him. I am not sure how this will help end his affair.

This is why you need to be in Plan B.
Why do you feel that way anyway, after what he has done to you?

I guess because I have conscience and I still love him. I feel really horrible for what I did. What would make your spouse come back if you destroy their career? They will hate you for that for ever and probably never forgive you.

So why is he upset with you? IF he is kicked out it will be due to his behavior entirely. I am sorry he chose to behave in ways that will cause him problems.

This is very irrational and i hope you can calm yourself down. It is wrong to commit adultery and stop supporting your wife. It is not wrong to expose such a person. That is silly and childish to say you are the "worst person." You have done nothing wrong.

You MUST contact the commander and tell him about your husbands threats.

You're buying into his cr*p.
If he had a conscience he wouldn't have cheated on you.
If the Affair continues, he will not come back.

You need to focus on your safety and your problems. Ask the sergeant who the Acting Commander is.

You don't have the power to destroy his career. If his career is destroyed it will be SOLELY due to his poor choices.

STOP these thoughts. You are being "gaslight". Check out the definition, thread and movie about gaslighting. All of this that he's told you is extremely unlikely. My husband was a Colonel, had a six month affair with a Sergeant. He still retired (my requirement), she remained in the service. Both were punished; none of the punishment caused either of them to get "kicked out".

Are you talking to him everyday? Stop!

BTW, the AP is not staying by his side. She is trolling for other Soldiers to take their money.

And you didn't do anything to him except tell the truth. He brought this attention on himself by acting in a despicable manner.

AM

Your conscience is not telling you it was wrong to expose his affair. That is your irrational emotions. You are not thinking clearly.

Melody and Sugar and Brain can all tell you how long it took me to get on board with plan B....forever....take their advice NOW and quit hesitating....you are only hurting yourself as you sit paralyzed in your lack of action. Take the control back and ACT. You're wasting time feeling sorry for yourself. You have a very short window to act since he's coming home tomorrow. You didn't cause this HE did.

I don't know for sure if he is coming home tomorrow but he mentioned it. I don't know where to go. I guess stay at a hotel. This is too fast.

Change the locks in the very least.

I feel so horrible. I think when you are at a higher rank, it is much harder to discharge you because you have a lot of responsibilities. He is not, so it will be very easy to discharge him. If you do not mind telling me AM, what was the punishment they faced?

Call his commander or commander on duty right now!

It is past work time now. Why should I call? Talk about what? They will call me tomorrow and tell me what they will be doing. I feel sick to my stomach now.

While I was talking to my husband, his AP was calling him on Skype. I wonder if she realizes that she is part of the problem here and if she will continue to be selfish enough to continue the affair for her own sake. If I were him, I would begin to hate her. I told my husband today that this is entirely due to mainly his and partially her behavior. I did not take him by the hand and tell him to go cheat. I told him that all these years he has been in the military he never once got in trouble while he was with me, now he has been in an affair for several months and he got in big trouble. I wonder if he will make this association of reckless behavior with her:

his AP's influence on him = his reckless behavior (wasted all his deployment money, did not properly support me, chance of getting STDs, chance of ruining his career)

Go change the locks TONIGHT. Block his number and take no more calls.