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And I sure hope you are not allowing your WW to take the kids while she goes out meeting these men, like her trip to Vegas. Well, she has no means of transportation, she doesn't have a car. I know that wouldn't really stop her if she's determined enough. Just thought I'd mention that. You are killing your marriage by enabling her affairs. You enable her affairs by keeping them a secret. Affairs thrive on secrecy so keeping this a secret only serves to fuel them. Her friends sympathize with her because she is allowed to LIE to them about you. Exposure would change all that.
It is very hard to save a marriage when you choose to be an enabler.
If her phone is broken, why don't you take it to the phone shop and retrieve all the data from it? The phone is being repaired as we speak. She doesn't even know that it's currently being repaired, she still thinks it's broken. That will give me plenty of time to go through it when I get it back later today. I'm not going to keep it s secret for much longer. I went through your exposure 101 thread. Seems like there's alot involved to doing it properly. But I'm going for it. You know it's strange, these people that she talks to on Facebook are more acquaintances then they are friends to her. In fact, she hasn't even told her childhood friends what she's told these people on Facebook. She was blasting stuff about me in a secret Facebook group that she's apart of. About how our relationship is still crappy, how after asking me to change, now I've changed too much and she doesn't know who I am anymore. And that she feels bad because she should want me but doesn't and can't figure out how to tell me. And now, now she's talking to another guy on Facebook. Except this one she actually knows personally. He use to live not far from us. Apparently she told me years ago before she was pregnant with our first child that he tried kissing her once. So he had or still has a "thing" for her. And I guess she did too, or still does. She told him that we're not together anymore but that we're still living together. She then proceeded to tell him that she's moving to Vegas soon. She conveniently or purposely neglected to tell him that we're moving out there together. I checked her Facebook this morning, and she had a new message from him saying, "Get out of my mind!" There's been some subtle flirting, but nothing sexual...yet. But, I did find an interesting statement that he made to here during the conversation, he said "You were the best I've had". And then she replied saying the same thing. That raised alarm bells in my head, to me it sounds like they've had sex at one point. Mind you she hasn't communicated with this guy for over 3 1/2 years atleast so it would've had to happen while we we're dating or shortly after we got married. And now they're talking alot on Facebook, this just started yesterday after she re-activated her account. She lied again to me the other night. She told me that he messaged her first, of course that isn't true. I saw the conversation and SHE reached out to him first! It seems that since her phone has been broken, that she has to get her cheating fix on Facebook now, my God she really is addicted? I didn't know there even was such a thing as "affair addiction". She's all over the place...having sex with some random guy in Vegas, messaging all different types of men on her phone and sending topless photos, to now flirting with an old friend that use to and still does have a thing for her. I just can't help but think that this is over, I don't want to believe that...but what else am I suppose to think? Can this ever be fixed?
Last edited by NickS; 02/29/16 03:57 PM.
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Are you taking screen shots of the facebook flirtations? I would focus on being more strategic here and working on an exposure plan.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I just can't help but think that this is over, I don't want to believe that...but what else am I suppose to think? Can this ever be fixed? It can be fixed if she makes a radical change in her lifestyle. If she won't do that, then you won't have a future with her. You will be better off without her if she won't change. She is dangerous as she is now. She exposes you to STDs and risks the security and safety of your children. I would be collecting as much evidence as possible in case your marriage doesn't work out because you will need to get primary custody of your children. With her promiscuous lifestyle of revolving creeps, your children will not be safe. Your best chance is a nuclear exposure. That is the about the only thing that might motivate her to change. If she doesn't, you need to prepare to separate and take your children.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I just can't help but think that this is over, I don't want to believe that...but what else am I suppose to think? Can this ever be fixed? It can be fixed if she makes a radical change in her lifestyle. If she won't do that, then you won't have a future with her. You will be better off without her if she won't change. She is dangerous as she is now. She exposes you to STDs and risks the security and safety of your children. I would be collecting as much evidence as possible in case your marriage doesn't work out because you will need to get primary custody of your children. With her promiscuous lifestyle of revolving creeps, your children will not be safe. Your best chance is a nuclear exposure. That is the about the only thing that might motivate her to change. If she doesn't, you need to prepare to separate and take your children. x10000
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And I sure hope you are not allowing your WW to take the kids while she goes out meeting these men, like her trip to Vegas. Well, she has no means of transportation, she doesn't have a car. I know that wouldn't really stop her if she's determined enough. Just thought I'd mention that. You are killing your marriage by enabling her affairs. You enable her affairs by keeping them a secret. Affairs thrive on secrecy so keeping this a secret only serves to fuel them. Her friends sympathize with her because she is allowed to LIE to them about you. Exposure would change all that.
It is very hard to save a marriage when you choose to be an enabler.
If her phone is broken, why don't you take it to the phone shop and retrieve all the data from it? The phone is being repaired as we speak. She doesn't even know that it's currently being repaired, she still thinks it's broken. That will give me plenty of time to go through it when I get it back later today. I'm not going to keep it s secret for much longer. I went through your exposure 101 thread. Seems like there's alot involved to doing it properly. But I'm going for it. You know it's strange, these people that she talks to on Facebook are more acquaintances then they are friends to her. In fact, she hasn't even told her childhood friends what she's told these people on Facebook. She was blasting stuff about me in a secret Facebook group that she's apart of. About how our relationship is still crappy, how after asking me to change, now I've changed too much and she doesn't know who I am anymore. And that she feels bad because she should want me but doesn't and can't figure out how to tell me. And now, now she's talking to another guy on Facebook. Except this one she actually knows personally. He use to live not far from us. Apparently she told me years ago before she was pregnant with our first child that he tried kissing her once. So he had or still has a "thing" for her. And I guess she did too, or still does. She told him that we're not together anymore but that we're still living together. She then proceeded to tell him that she's moving to Vegas soon. She conveniently or purposely neglected to tell him that we're moving out there together. I checked her Facebook this morning, and she had a new message from him saying, "Get out of my mind!" There's been some subtle flirting, but nothing sexual...yet. But, I did find an interesting statement that he made to here during the conversation, he said "You were the best I've had". And then she replied saying the same thing. That raised alarm bells in my head, to me it sounds like they've had sex at one point. Mind you she hasn't communicated with this guy for over 3 1/2 years atleast so it would've had to happen while we we're dating or shortly after we got married. And now they're talking alot on Facebook, this just started yesterday after she re-activated her account. She lied again to me the other night. She told me that he messaged her first, of course that isn't true. I saw the conversation and SHE reached out to him first! It seems that since her phone has been broken, that she has to get her cheating fix on Facebook now, my God she really is addicted? I didn't know there even was such a thing as "affair addiction". She's all over the place...having sex with some random guy in Vegas, messaging all different types of men on her phone and sending topless photos, to now flirting with an old friend that use to and still does have a thing for her. I just can't help but think that this is over, I don't want to believe that...but what else am I suppose to think? Can this ever be fixed? I say this in support of you, your marriage and your children. You're wasting time and emotional energy on these long posts. There needs to be less hand wringing and we need to hear more about exposure. Who are your exposure targets?
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Well I have bad news. They can't fix the iPhone because the the lcd connector on the mother board is worn out. So I have two choices, either replace the entire phone, or replace the motherboard. Either option will wipe out all data and evidence that's on there. So I'm pretty much screwed. Any technically inclined people want to weigh in on my available options?
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Well I have bad news. They can't fix the iPhone because the the lcd connector on the mother board is worn out. So I have two choices, either replace the entire phone, or replace the motherboard. Either option will wipe out all data and evidence that's on there. So I'm pretty much screwed. Any technically inclined people want to weigh in on my available options? Don't you have other evidence on facebook? What other evidence do you have? You also have her confession, right?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Well I have bad news. They can't fix the iPhone because the the lcd connector on the mother board is worn out. So I have two choices, either replace the entire phone, or replace the motherboard. Either option will wipe out all data and evidence that's on there. So I'm pretty much screwed. Any technically inclined people want to weigh in on my available options? If you can't retrieve the intel, you can put spyware on her new phone and give it back to her.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Well I have bad news. They can't fix the iPhone because the the lcd connector on the mother board is worn out. So I have two choices, either replace the entire phone, or replace the motherboard. Either option will wipe out all data and evidence that's on there. So I'm pretty much screwed. Any technically inclined people want to weigh in on my available options? Don't you have other evidence on facebook? What other evidence do you have? You also have her confession, right? Well the real evidence was on her phone. The things on her phone would've really told me how far back this has been going on for.
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Well the real evidence was on her phone. The things on her phone would've really told me how far back this has been going on for. No use crying over spilled milk. Put the spyware on the new phone and check it, it will tell you the real story soon enough.
Last edited by LostOnWestCoast; 02/29/16 06:35 PM.
Me-BH, 47 Spouse-WW, 47 Married for 18 years DS, 11 D-Day #1 - November 1998 (7 months after wedding) False Recovery, 16 years D-Day #2 - November 2015 WW filed for D - February 2016
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Okay. Well in the mean time. She did tell me some things today. Apparently, her old friend that she just started talking to again, they had sex before I met her. She just admitted to it.
She also admitted that they're having some sexual talk. But that she's not interested in being with him.
When I told here that I didn't think that was appropriate, her response was that she needs her friend and that she can talk to whoever she wants, whenever she wants, about whatever she wants. And that she doesn't feel there's anything wrong with it because she considers herself single.
She said that she likes to talk about that kind of stuff, she likes to have fun. I guess she said that I really broke her verbally and emotionally. Those were her words.
I could type a lot more, but then you'all say I'm rambling! Haha
Last edited by NickS; 02/29/16 06:48 PM.
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Okay. Well in the mean time. She did tell me some things today. Apparently, her old friend that she just started talking to again, they had sex before I met her. She just admitted to it.
She also admitted that they're having some sexual talk. But that she's not interested in being with him.
When I told here that I didn't think that was appropriate, her response was that she needs her friend and that she can talk to whoever she wants, whenever she wants, about whatever she wants.
She said that she likes to talk about that kind of stuff, she likes to have fun. Those were her words.
I could type a lot more, but then you'all say I'm rambling! Haha Does this seem funny to you? How are they talking? What device is she using to contact him?
BW Married 1989 His PA 2003-2006 2 kids.
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Okay. Well in the mean time. She did tell me some things today. Apparently, her old friend that she just started talking to again, they had sex before I met her. She just admitted to it.
She also admitted that they're having some sexual talk. But that she's not interested in being with him.
When I told here that I didn't think that was appropriate, her response was that she needs her friend and that she can talk to whoever she wants, whenever she wants, about whatever she wants.
She said that she likes to talk about that kind of stuff, she likes to have fun. Those were her words.
I could type a lot more, but then you'all say I'm rambling! Haha Does this seem funny to you? How are they talking? What device is she using to contact him? Never said it was. I just think it's funny in the sense that I keep getting told that I'm adding too much information that'she not usefull. I think it paints a bigger picture in the grand scheme, but eh. I'll leave it alone. The main communication right now is Facebook on my old computer that I gave her.
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Never said it was. I just think it's funny in the sense that I keep getting told that I'm adding too much information that'she not usefull. I think it paints a bigger picture in the grand scheme, but eh. I'll leave it alone.
The main communication right now is Facebook on my old computer that I gave her. Do you want to focus on the task at hand, or do you want to complain about your incomprehensible posts yesterday, which you were advised to get rid of, and you did, and since then people have got on with helping you? Shall we talk about the length of your posts? If she is contacting him on a computer, put some spyware on the computer, right now. Have you looked at his Facebook page and copied and pasted a list of his contacts into a Word document? It tells you to do this on the exposure thread. Are you going to take any specific steps to attack this affair, or are you going to continue to blog while time is being lost?
BW Married 1989 His PA 2003-2006 2 kids.
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Well I have bad news. They can't fix the iPhone because the the lcd connector on the mother board is worn out. So I have two choices, either replace the entire phone, or replace the motherboard. Either option will wipe out all data and evidence that's on there. So I'm pretty much screwed. Any technically inclined people want to weigh in on my available options? Don't you have other evidence on facebook? What other evidence do you have? You also have her confession, right? Well the real evidence was on her phone. The things on her phone would've really told me how far back this has been going on for. Do you have evidence of an affair? That is the question. We don't need to know how far back it went.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Well I have bad news. They can't fix the iPhone because the the lcd connector on the mother board is worn out. So I have two choices, either replace the entire phone, or replace the motherboard. Either option will wipe out all data and evidence that's on there. So I'm pretty much screwed. Any technically inclined people want to weigh in on my available options? Don't you have other evidence on facebook? What other evidence do you have? You also have her confession, right? Well the real evidence was on her phone. The things on her phone would've really told me how far back this has been going on for. Do you have evidence of an affair? That is the question. We don't need to know how far back it went. Other than her recent talking to her old friend on Facebook, no. All the evidence was on her phone.
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Well I have bad news. They can't fix the iPhone because the the lcd connector on the mother board is worn out. So I have two choices, either replace the entire phone, or replace the motherboard. Either option will wipe out all data and evidence that's on there. So I'm pretty much screwed. Any technically inclined people want to weigh in on my available options? Why don't you tether the iPhone to your computer and do a backup with iTunes, then restore from backup onto a functioning iPhone?
me-65 wife-61 married for 40 years DS - 38, autistic, lives at home DD - 37, married and on her own DS - 32, still living with us
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Well I have bad news. They can't fix the iPhone because the the lcd connector on the mother board is worn out. So I have two choices, either replace the entire phone, or replace the motherboard. Either option will wipe out all data and evidence that's on there. So I'm pretty much screwed. Any technically inclined people want to weigh in on my available options? Why don't you tether the iPhone to your computer and do a backup with iTunes, then restore from backup onto a functioning iPhone? Well, it has a pass code on it. And unfortunately, you need to type that in to unlock it before plugging it in. Not only that, but it won't even turn on anymore. I'm going to try another repair shop and see what they tell me. I only need it to work for a little while to get what I need off of it. If not, then oh well.
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Well, it has a pass code on it. And unfortunately, you need to type that in to unlock it before plugging it in.
Not only that, but it won't even turn on anymore. I'm going to try another repair shop and see what they tell me. I only need it to work for a little while to get what I need off of it. If not, then oh well. Wouldn't you or the repair shop need the same pass code in order to access it? If you have it, then you can use iTunes to back it up and restore it, right? That's the same problem that the FBI is having with the terrorist's phone right now, right?
Me-BH, 47 Spouse-WW, 47 Married for 18 years DS, 11 D-Day #1 - November 1998 (7 months after wedding) False Recovery, 16 years D-Day #2 - November 2015 WW filed for D - February 2016
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Well, it has a pass code on it. And unfortunately, you need to type that in to unlock it before plugging it in.
Not only that, but it won't even turn on anymore. I'm going to try another repair shop and see what they tell me. I only need it to work for a little while to get what I need off of it. If not, then oh well. Wouldn't you or the repair shop need the same pass code in order to access it? If you have it, then you can use iTunes to back it up and restore it, right? That's the same problem that the FBI is having with the terrorist's phone right now, right? True, yes. But the connector on the phone's motherboard is worn out and so the screen won't connect properly. So it's either a new motherboard, or a new phone.
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