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Tom6969 Offline OP
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Wife insisted on trial separation tonight. She is sleeping in separate bedroom for first time. I KNOW this is a terrible idea, and I refused to do a trial sep, but please give me help to combat it? Or good links from here? It is hard to even think, much less think straight...

History: Suspected wife having affair with her boss, about 3 months now. Began plan A and just got serious snooping, confirmed she left work to meet someone at the park. I know its slim evidence, but it seems like too weak proof for exposal - yes? or no? Boss's wife and I have been talking without their knowledge, we confirmed each others suspicions 100%. I think I need to expose now, but I am totally not ready, I need to have my [censored] in order to expose swift and hard, omg freaking out, any advice please???

Last edited by Tom6969; 04/01/16 09:17 PM.
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Hi Tom, welcome to Marriage Builders. You should not do anything except spy on her and get direct evidence. Can you hire a PI for a couple of days?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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I have her car GPS tracked, so I know her every move. How much evidence do I need? Checked into PI last week, they want like $500 down + hourly... ughhh...

Struggling to decide when I should/should not expose, any advice or links greatly appreciated

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Originally Posted by Tom6969
I have her car GPS tracked, so I know her every move. How much evidence do I need? Checked into PI last week, they want like $500 down + hourly... ughhh...

Can you do that? You need direct evidence of an affair. You have no evidence right now.

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Struggling to decide when I should/should not expose, any advice or links greatly appreciated

FIRST get the evidence and then we will help you expose the affair.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Tom6969 Offline OP
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Melody, thanks so much for your replies, they are greatly appreciated!!!!

The PI would be very hard to afford frown As painful as it is, I am sure I will get many more meetings recorded with the GPS tracker.

Last edited by Tom6969; 04/01/16 09:59 PM.
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Originally Posted by Tom6969
Melody, thanks so much for your replies, they are greatly appreciated!!!!

The PI would be very hard to afford frown As painful as it is, I am sure I will get many more meetings recorded with the GPS tracker.

A GPS tracker will not give you evidence though. It just shows you where she is. You need to get evidence of the affair. You could put a voice activated recorder in her car and follow her and take pictures. Can you do that?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by Tom6969
Melody, thanks so much for your replies, they are greatly appreciated!!!!

The PI would be very hard to afford frown As painful as it is, I am sure I will get many more meetings recorded with the GPS tracker.
In addition to the VAR and GPS do you have spyware on all her devices?

You need to get the evidence.


FWW/BW (me)
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Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Voice activated recorder in her car and where she hides to take phone calls or texts

They are cheap and effective.

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Working on getting a VAR... any suggestions or have experience with a good one?y

How do u get spyware installed on her phone? She has a company owned work phone. Thinking that's a major offense... plus its locked, and never left alone - when she showers its like a foot from the shower.

Almost caught them this weekend. Missed them by like 4 minutes, according to GPS tracks

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So what is your plan? To catch them on the GPS?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Come on Tom, a VAR is under $60 at BestBuy probably cheaper and available at WalMart or Target.
Cant you get yourself to go get one and hide it in her car.

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I am definitely getting a VAR, but it is not exactly simple. Battery life on most of them is only like 8 hrs. Plus I think they mostly text not phone.... plus no one answered my questions on how to get the cell phone spy program installed??

Sorry all I am very, VERY stressed tonight... its a bad night...

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Tom
I am no expert, but to install on the phone, you have to get it and download the app. You will need her password and her account password.

Battery life on a VAR is very lengthy, depending on how long talking is happening. Hide it in her car where she doesn't look. I hid it in the sunroof channel, they are small.

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VAR recording time and battery life are maximized because it is "voice activated" and goes into standby mode until noise is heard. There are several settings. Read the manual. If 8hours isn't enough then buy 2 and swap them out as needed. It's probable that if they text all day, they are also calling. Could be with a burner phone.

Practice installing the software on your own phone if it is similar to WS's phone. Make sure to go back and delete any notifications as well as the original ddownload.

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Tom6969 Offline OP
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No chance in hell I can get her phone password, and account password. Hell I can't even get her phone, I'd have to sneak it out of the bathroom while she showers, and I'd only have like 3-4 minutes, tops.

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What about while she is sleeping? Does she fall asleep before you? Many of the things I found that kept me snooping were found after my WH went up to bed and I was "getting ready' for bed.


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HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got it. I recorded my wife telling her girlfriend about the entire affair, how she is angry cuz he's trying to go back to his wife, how she was gonna kick me out in two weeks, I got it ALL. And I backed it up.

OMFG... what do I do now? I thought I was prepared for this but I can barely breathe much less think straight!!!!!!!!! I have to expose... omg... 3 adult children 18-28. How much do I tell them? Do I let them listen? Am I gonna get arrested for secretly recording her?? OMFG I'm panicking and I am soooooooooo maddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

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Originally Posted by Tom6969
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got it. I recorded my wife telling her girlfriend about the entire affair, how she is angry cuz he's trying to go back to his wife, how she was gonna kick me out in two weeks, I got it ALL. And I backed it up.

OMFG... what do I do now? I thought I was prepared for this but I can barely breathe much less think straight!!!!!!!!! I have to expose... omg... 3 adult children 18-28. How much do I tell them? Do I let them listen? Am I gonna get arrested for secretly recording her?? OMFG I'm panicking and I am soooooooooo maddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

First off, calm down and stop panicking. I would prepare to expose the affair tomorrow when you have your wits about you. You will want to START with the OM's wife and play the tape for her. Follow that exposure with exposures to her family, friends, his facebook friends and lastly, your family and children.

You tell your kids everything and let them listen to the tape. But do them LAST.

CALM down and go read my exposure thread for best practices.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Good job getting the evidence!!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Isn't this her boss? If so, you need to plan on exposing to his boss and the director of HR.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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