3. Read the books, but don't stop at His Needs, Her Needs. Read on through Lovebusters and He Wins, She wins.

Many couple fall out of love because of sacrifices they make for one another. HWHW shows you how to negotiate win-win agreements

PS summer is a great time to get started because there are so many activities available.

You have gotten a lot of great advice here.

Many of us came here unhappy for one reason or another, and with marriages in shambles. Yet we maintained our defenses and argued that we did not have 'that kind of marriage' (ie one with lovebusters...one that was susceptible to affairs...etc.). We ALL had to take the cotton out of our ears and put it in our mouth at some point, there is much to learn here and an amazing opportunity to transform your marriage. I hope you can do the same. Your marriage *is* very susceptible to an affair right now for a variety of reasons. And you are doing a great many things wrong. But you didn't know before, and now you have the opportunity to learn how to have a great marriage and make it affair proof, I hope you take it.

The marriages that are most at risk are those who believe they are immune to affairs. [because they don't take any precautions] Go look at the thousands upon thousands of threads over on Surviving an Affair forum that can attest to this. How do you think affairs start?

We are trying to help you recognize a true risk. Anyone who knows how affairs begin can see the red flags in your husbands opposite sex friendships. It is not because we are "biased" but because we have long experience.

Those articles on opposite sex friendships apply to you and to EVERY married person. And they especially apply to yours because you have fallen out of love. When you are not in love, that leaves the door wide open for another person to come in and meet your needs or your husbands needs. Your H is very high risk because of his lifestyle of no boundaries.

Your marriage is at high risk for an affair with its independent behaviour and opposite sex friendships and is certainly not the way to build a team.

I bet before the Las Vegas incident that you thought your DH would never get mad enough to leave you and refuse your phone calls for a few days. I hope you can now see that, given the right circumstances, we are all capable of stepping outside of our normal character.

You struck gold when you found MB. It is now up to you to decide to pick up the tools or to continue on your current path.

125,

In my experience, the stuff that people don't want to hear here on this forum is the stuff they most need to hear. If they get upset at people, 9 times out of 10, they come back and say they wish they had listened.

Rather than telling people what to do, I'd encourage you to listen. If you don't feel like listening, I'd encourage you to just hit the ignore button rather than fighting with them, for your own sanity.

125,

When I first came here many people suggested my wife was having an affair.

She wasn't, but she started one within a year.

I'm just saying, the people here have been around the block and learned a LOT. You might want to listen closely. There's no need to get upset at somebody for saying something you don't want to hear. Even if they aren't correct.

Do you have the Marriage Builders app?

Are you listening to the radio show, daily?

Is your husband listening?