Whether the cheating was remote, it is new to her. You should approach it as if it happened yesterday, because for her, it did. And now she gets to decide if the marriage is worth recovering.

We don't waste time here; we go directly to the most impactful points. If you have a question about the program, feel free to ask. Dr. Harley tells women that a wayward husband should return on bended knee, especially a multiple offender. If you do use MB, dont skimp on the Exposure or extraordinary precautions.

Good luck.

Thestral, it is extraordinarily easy to just click the "ignore" button on posters you don't like so you don't have to read what they have to say.

Of course, most of the time people are the most uncomfortable with the things they NEED to hear. Not sure you are going to make it if you are this unwilling to grow.

When a wayward husband says that, there isn't much hope for recovery.

I don't believe that. Your story is not believable.

Thestral, do you expect that fixing process to be completely comfortable and painless? Do you want us to let you know when you are making a big mistake so you have a chance to fix it, or would you prefer we just let you keep going the way you are going and head for disaster?

Scroll up and down and look at the dates people joined here and how many times they have posted on this website. Dr. Harley has been broadcasting a daily radio show since 2006 and there are people here who have listened to every single show. Hundreds of hours of tutoring from the best marriage counselor on the planet. Specializing in infidelity. Years spend working on their on marriages and helping others and learning from their own mistakes and from others.

Most of us came here because our best thinking ruined our marriages, and yet for some reason we all show up thinking we know all the answers and trying to tell people how to help us instead of listening to people who already know how to help.

Check out MelodyLane, who has been here for something like a decade and a half. When ML showed up at Alcoholics Anonymous years ago as an alcoholic, they told her to take the cotton out of her ears and stick it in her mouth. It was good advice. She learned how to overcome alcoholism from experts. She's given the same advice to many people here, who have gone on to learn how to save their marriages from experts who actually know how.

When someone is really serious about turning their marriage around, wild horses can't stop them, much less a little pointed criticism.

What seems lacking to me is an appreciation of your betrayed wife's perspective. Being totally focused on self is a wayward characteristic. Your BW is experiencing pain that is ten times worse than yours. Don't you think you should endure a little criticism for her sake?