Hi Melody,

It's been almost a month since I've posted. Hard to believe it's been that long since I read the forum every couple days.

I haven't posted because I haven't had any specific questions.
However I just read one of your posts in another thread about how not being active on the forum may be viewed as not taking this seriously. It made me realize I should post updates even if I don't have a specific questions.

The past month has been relatively good, but with little progress. She no longer asks me to move out, but its clear that at some point she will be willing to move out herself. Since I've made it clear that I'm not going to move out she's no longer interested in some of the home improvement projects. She's asked what we would do with the house if we split up. I tell her I haven't thought about it because I don't want to split up.

I still can't get 4X4 dates a week. I usually get two and they aren't always four hours. The dates she agrees to usually involve dinner or some type of show or entertainment. Anytime I suggest more interactive dates it doesn't appeal to her. I don't think she views the time we spend together as dates, but more just like eating dinner or seeing a show.

Sometimes conversation flows freely and other times she's more withdrawn. It seems like she catches herself and forces herself to pull back whenever it seems like we might take a step forward.

We went on our cruise the week before last and had a great time together but it does not appear that resulted in any significant progress.

Tuesday was our anniversary. I bought her roses, gave her a card, and took her to a nice dinner at a nice restaurant with a great view. This caused her to shut down more. Anytime I try to do anything romantic she wants to shut it down. I don't think she would have even acknowledged our anniversary if I hadn't asked her out.

In the meantime, I keep doing what I've been doing. I try to give her attention, keep working on myself, and try to avoid love busters.

Thanks for the update, Notgivingupinphx! It sounds like you are doing a great job. What you are doing is all you can do. The longer you do it, the more impact it will have. It will take a while to fill up her lovebank.

My point about being active on the forum applies to those who are in a state of crisis and need frequent guidance to get them out of the woods. You have a good plan, can follow the plan and don't need frequent guidance, so your instincts were correct.

Keep up the good work!!

Thanks.