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Originally Posted by DidntQuit
Originally Posted by apples123
You need to review POJA. I getthe impressionthat you keep talking and questioning your wife to find a hole in her argument by which to you can make her do what you want, or maybe in hopes she gives up. This is why we tell people not to argue. Argumention is an adversarily technique in which one side loses, by definition.

You are to look for win-win agreements.

THIS.






oops, I used all caps in my last post. Sorry to offend.


Let me correctly say,


this


rotflmao That's just me taking your advice to lighten up.

It's all good, Erastis.

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Originally Posted by Erastis
I understand that the forum gets a lot of hard headed men who you may feel like you have to "straighten out". I figure that, like parole officers, law enforcement, counselors, etc. that y'all may become affected by dealing with all of those knot heads. I am suggesting that maybe you should consider toning it down a notch with the sarcastic, negative crap. IT IS NOT PRODUCTIVE. STOP IT! JUST STOP IT! LOL.

And specifically, if you feel like it is your calling on the forum to "straighten me out", through that kind of negativity then no. I do NOT need that brand of help. There may be some point in the future where I can look that deep for a morsel, but today ain't the day.

And give me a break. If you are going to dish it, don't complain when it comes back from those of us who haven't been "reformed" yet.
Your posts have contained "sarcastic, negative crap" from the first day you posted here. The way you address people is deeply unpleasant. Your posts on the private forum are unpleasant. The bits in bold above are examples of sarcastic, negative crap (and so very rude: "give me a break").

It is YOU who has been dishing this out and who is complaining when it goes back to you. The arrogance in the partially-quoted post, in particular, takes my breath away.


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SugarCane, you are off the deep end with your suppositions. You are answering the meaning of life based on a magazine article. You may want to consider clarification before jumping in head first.

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Originally Posted by Erastis
SugarCane, you are off the deep end with your suppositions. You are answering the meaning of life based on a magazine article. You may want to consider clarification before jumping in head first.
Sarcastic, negative crap. You are the master of it.


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Originally Posted by Erastis
you are off the deep end with your suppositions.
And I haven't "supposed" anything. I quoted your words.


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Originally Posted by Erastis
[

Now you are getting it! So will you STOP IT? If you want to effectively turn your marriage around that is exactly what you need to do. Don't give yourself permission to "progress;" give yourself permission to STOP IT. Stop yakking and start acting.

You do realize you could have never read past page 1, right? Never posted? LOL I'll stop when you stop. MrRollieEyes
[/quote]

You do realize that you are the one with the troubled marriage, right? You came here looking for help. You could STOP IT when you behave in offensive manners, instead of posting, right?

Quote
Yep. I get the saying even without the explanation. I'll send you a YouTube video about doubters when I have achieved MB greatness.

You won't achieve "MB greatness" if you are spending your time on this forum brawling and making long posts instead of taking simple action steps, such as STOPPING IT.

Quote
EXACTLY. Nor I to you. Thank God. wink

One of us really can stop now. We sound like my kids.

Speak for yourself. You are the one on this forum wasting valuable forum time brawling with volunteers. WHY?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by DidntQuit
Originally Posted by DidntQuit
Originally Posted by apples123
You need to review POJA. I getthe impressionthat you keep talking and questioning your wife to find a hole in her argument by which to you can make her do what you want, or maybe in hopes she gives up. This is why we tell people not to argue. Argumention is an adversarily technique in which one side loses, by definition.

You are to look for win-win agreements.

THIS.






oops, I used all caps in my last post. Sorry to offend.


Let me correctly say,


this


rotflmao That's just me taking your advice to lighten up.

It's all good, Erastis.

LOL

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Instead of arguing, could you review POJA?

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Originally Posted by Erastis
SugarCane, you are off the deep end with your suppositions. You are answering the meaning of life based on a magazine article. You may want to consider clarification before jumping in head first.

"Clarification" - the smoke people like you and me blow in order to make it not worth anybody's while to try to help us not be our own worst enemies.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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I think you need to do these two things:

first:
Originally Posted by Prisca
Quote
You can decide today not to ever say or do anything that your wife feels is disrespectful.
"Honey, I love you, and I don't want to abuse you with DJs anymore. From now on, if I DJ you, I want you to call me on it AND I want you to report it to Dr. Harley and our coach. I will not debate you with questions of "why?" I will accept whatever you say is a DJ, and I will stop whatever I'm doing or saying immediately, and we will not continue until you feel safe."

second:
Originally Posted by Prisca
Start making a list today of every way your wife has said you disrespectfully judge her. Keep the list with you at all times and add to it. Review it daily, and recommit daily to ending all the behavior on the list.

If you are really serious about eliminating disrespect, and would like some accountability, post it here.

I've seen you respond and say you'll do the first. Did you? Have you started the second?


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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The path to MB greatness is to take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth.

Seriously. If you read through other threads you'll find that this is so.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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