My husband and I have been married for 21 years. I found out about his affair in January and got the real proof in February. This was after he got a DUI and before I found out he was occasionally using drugs. Yes, my husband has issues. He has gotten the drinking under control and I don't think he's using anymore. I'm no expert on this, I can only take his word for it. And yes, I know the word of an alcoholic not in a program isn't much. He says they only had sex one time, but I've found evidence to the contrary. I have brought it up to him, but he is sticking to his story. I did not expose the affair, the OW is not married and we decided to keep it private. He says it's over, but the issue I'm having is they work next door to each other. They call and text each other almost every day for one reason or another. I have told him over and over to stop. That he needs to stop talking to her because she has no place in his life. But of course, I get, we are just friends, from him. Yes, I know it's the typical response. I can't say for sure if the affair is still on going. I haven't found any proof, but yes I am still looking. I just don't know where to go from here. He says he wants to try to work it out, but I'm hesitant. He has been home more often, but it's not going great. We argue a lot about her and I'm over it. I want to move on, but truthfully, I don't know if I really want to move on with him. There are a lot of past hurts and I don't know if I can get past them and go down this road. At first, I was all for reconciliation. In light of reading this website, I'm not sure I should. I just need a little light shed on this. Someone to give me a little unbiased advice.

Welcome to MB and I'm sorry for your pain.

He is still in his affair when they work next door to each other and communicate every day.

You need to expose this today. Also he needs to find another job.

You will not heal if you don't do anything.

The affair is very much active. By keeping his secret and going along with the continuing contact, you are enabling the affair.

You need to fully expose the affair. Then, you need to put extraordinary precautions in place, which will include cutting off all contact between him and his affair partner. They can not see or communicate in any form with each other for the rest of their lives. Anything less than that will doom your marriage.