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Today is surprisingly hard for me. I haven�t been affected by this date in years.
Today was D-Day 7 years ago.
The first one after MDW�s passing
We had gotten to the point in our recovered MB marriage that we didn�t even take notice.
But this morning I am so sad.
I remember hearing Dr. Harley� say in his video that to some an affair is more painful than Death of a spouse; I guess I am one of those �someone�s�
I feel so bad for thinking about this but I can�t stop.
Me 59 newly married after being a widow
Married 1 year
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I think that the mourning of the affair has been brought back by the mourning for your wife. If she were still with you, you'd be thriving in the recovered marriage that you described to us here, and the affair would be unimportant.
This too shall pass, and one day you'll remember your recent happiness again, and the past will remain distant. You're in my prayers.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Today is surprisingly hard for me. I haven�t been affected by this date in years.
Today was D-Day 7 years ago.
The first one after MDW�s passing
We had gotten to the point in our recovered MB marriage that we didn�t even take notice.
But this morning I am so sad.
I remember hearing Dr. Harley� say in his video that to some an affair is more painful than Death of a spouse; I guess I am one of those �someone�s�
I feel so bad for thinking about this but I can�t stop. I am so sorry, wle. Be good to yourself.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,470 Likes: 5
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Today is surprisingly hard for me. I haven�t been affected by this date in years.
Today was D-Day 7 years ago.
The first one after MDW�s passing
We had gotten to the point in our recovered MB marriage that we didn�t even take notice.
But this morning I am so sad.
I remember hearing Dr. Harley� say in his video that to some an affair is more painful than Death of a spouse; I guess I am one of those �someone�s�
I feel so bad for thinking about this but I can�t stop. I�m so sorry you�re having a hard day, my friend.  How is your support system?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Posts: 286
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SugarCane, markos and as always BrainHurts
I guess I just needed to come back here to read your words and seek the comfort and guidance I did back then.
Oh my we were hitting on all cylinders completely head over heels in love when she left so Sugar Cain you are correct.
As the day closes here in Georgia I feel better. I will markos!
BrainHurts I have a strong support group around me of family , friends and church.
Thank y�all so much for the years of help given me and so many others God bless!
Wle2
Me 59 newly married after being a widow
Married 1 year
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[quote=wle2]
It's also important to note that you are NOT supposed to bring up the A, at all. It only brings the past into the present - as we say around here. Dr. Harley is very clear that even with the policy of radical honesty that discussing the affair - or triggers - only reminds you both of the betrayal. It is difficult to grasp how you are supposed to be open with your spouse while not bringing up the trigger, I know. I had a whole discussion on it on my thread. At what point should the FBW not bring up the A any more?
Last edited by ClearlyNow; 06/16/21 04:16 PM. Reason: typo
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ClearlyNow, is this an issue that affects you directly? Why not start your own thread and ask your questions there? Somebody else's thread really isn't the right place for that. I would urge you also to read all the free articles on this site (those written by Dr Harley) on the topic of infidelity. Begin here:
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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