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Sounds like they probably need to know up front so they go into the date without the expectation of sex. You might consider running a personal ad in the paper or online and specifically put that in the ad. That could fulfill the dual purpose of finding more people to date and also managing expectations up front. Markos, I have tried to tell girls up-front I do not want to have sex and just want to learn to know them... (I've think I written about it here some years ago) IT HAS THE OPPOSITE EFFECT! Once I started doing that women would invite themselves to my bed! If I asked them why... they would say things like: "You are the only single guy I date that does not want to have sex with me." Interesting. What do they do if you decline?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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I am sure there are people who have the exact same experience here. I am equally sure that there are people there who don't have sex until marriage. And I am DEFINITELY sure that there are women there who would like to avoid having sex until marriage. I'm certain of it! I am sure there should be some around here, but as I said, I hardly meet single 30+ in general. I don't know a single married person that did NOT have pre-marital sex including my parents, uncles, aunts and extended family. Including all non-religious friends I've made while living in Portugal, Thailand, Cambodia and Indonesia. NONE! I have dated 20-something Muslim girls in Thailand and Indonesia. (Dating over there includes another female as chaperone!) Ofcourse these girls abstain from SF because of their religion and that was never a problem for me because it's the NORM over there. But in Europe you are ABNORMAL or religious, if you abstain from SF. I am neither. there are lots of women who only do this because they think they have to. Ofcourse! You are 100% correct. But threading these paths when things get heated while kissing is an emotional minefield... These are my observations not my credo.
Last edited by geroldmodel; 08/26/16 04:42 PM.
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But he says that you might discuss the question: "If we were married, would you refrain from doing anything that I'm not enthusiastic about?" I did! She does not want to marry ever again. She said she does not want to change herself for anyone ever again. She said refraining from anything for a significant other is the same as locking herself up in a prison. Wow. She's definitely failed the job interview for marriage. Really? Because this just sounds like a normal freeloader to me.
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[
This is Western-Europe, this is how it is.
I do not have a single male friend who experiences things differently here. We have hoes here too, but you just need to avoid them. What in the hell does having a degree have to do with being loose and easy? There are lots of women who have degrees who are not promiscuous. It is no different than America. You just have to fish in another pond. If you tell a woman you don't agree with premarital sex and she won't go out with you, wouldn't that be a good thing? Do you really want to date a woman who puts out with other guys?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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But he says that you might discuss the question: "If we were married, would you refrain from doing anything that I'm not enthusiastic about?" I did! She does not want to marry ever again. She said she does not want to change herself for anyone ever again. She said refraining from anything for a significant other is the same as locking herself up in a prison. Wow. She's definitely failed the job interview for marriage. Really? Because this just sounds like a normal freeloader to me. huh? Did you read your post? Marriage material would be willing to abandon her freeloader ways in marriage. The above example is an indication that she won't. In other words, she failed the job interview for marriage. Why would you DATE someone who is just there to DATE when your goal is marriage?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I just want to point out that geroldmodel is not a very good catch himself right now, if he is also willing to jump in the sack within the first two weeks of dating.
I would not date a man who did this, or anticipated it, or suggested it. I would not consider him marriage material.
This goes both ways. Expect more FROM yourself, not just FOR yourself.
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I did! She does not want to marry ever again. She said she does not want to change herself for anyone ever again. She said refraining from anything for a significant other is the same as locking herself up in a prison. Wow. She's definitely failed the job interview for marriage. Really? Because this just sounds like a normal freeloader to me. huh? Did you read your post? Marriage material would be willing to abandon her freeloader ways in marriage. The above example is an indication that she won't. In other words, she failed the job interview for marriage. Why would you DATE someone who is just there to DATE when your goal is marriage? Hi Melody, Well if I did NOT date her... I wouldn't even know her thoughts about marriage, would I? I've dated girls in the past who said they don't want a relationship... Yet, want a relationship a couple of weeks later. I've dated girls in the past who said they would never marry, yet when I broke up with them they got engaged to someone else... My female friends say that no single woman will ever claim she wants anything more than a fling at first. Because if she does, it means she will be easy... and no woman wants to appear easy.
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My female friends say that no single woman will ever claim she wants anything more than a fling at first. Because if she does, it means she will be easy... and no woman wants to appear easy. That has never been my experience and I don't believe that. And a woman who wants a "fling" is EASY. She is a hoe. I think you are hanging out with a loose crowd and should fish elsewhere.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Could someone point me to that part in Buyers/Renters/Freeloaders about NOT having SF before marriage... I can't find it in His Needs/Her Needs or Fall In love/Stay in love either.
If anything the Dr. speaks about fullfilling that need.
I also seem to have missed the part that all women who have premartital sex are hoe's...
Last edited by geroldmodel; 08/29/16 11:01 AM.
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Could someone point me to that part in Buyers/Renters/Freeloaders about NOT having SF before marriage... I can't find it in His Needs/Her Needs or Fall In love/Stay in love either.
If anything the Dr. speaks about fullfilling that need.
I also seem to have missed the part that all women who have premartital sex are hoe's... I don't remember seeing Dr Harley's comments about premarital sex in the books. You can find it in his radio show, though. If anything the Dr. speaks about fullfilling that need. Show me where he EVER says to fulfill that need outside of marriage. I don't think that ALL women who have premarital sex are hoes and never said that. But women who won't date some guy who won't hop into bed with them is a hoe.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Seriously, if some woman won't date you unless you agree to have sex with her, don't you consider the strong possibility that she might have a disease? That should indicate to you that she is promiscuous, or is "rode hard and put up wet" as my dad used to say about such women.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Show me where he EVER says to fulfill that need outside of marriage. Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders Personal Characteristics That Match for Compatibility 1. Intelligence 2. Energy You and your partner should be roughly equivalent to each other in energy. Energy is an important determiner of compatibility because so many of your lifestyle predispositions depend on your energy level. Leisure time activities and sexual interest are particularly sensitive to the amount of energy you have. People high in energy enjoy activities that burn that energy, even after work, while those with low energy levels would find such activities exhausting. In the case of sex, the more energy a person has, the more sex he or she tends to need. Since leisure activities and sex are two of the best ways to enjoy time together after marriage, incompatibility in these areas can make it very difficult for a couple to create a fulfilling and permanent romantic relationship. If one of you lies around watching TV while the other scurries about and can�t sit still, you�re probably a bad match. But if you find that you enjoy activities that require the same amount of energy from both of you, you probably pass the energy test. Harley, Willard F. Jr.. Buyers, Renters & Freeloaders: Turning Revolving-Door Romance into Lasting Love (Kindle Locations 374-378). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
Last edited by geroldmodel; 08/29/16 11:50 AM.
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Show me where he EVER says to fulfill that need outside of marriage. Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders Personal Characteristics That Match for Compatibility 1. Intelligence 2. Energy You and your partner should be roughly equivalent to each other in energy. Energy is an important determiner of compatibility because so many of your lifestyle predispositions depend on your energy level. Leisure time activities and sexual interest are particularly sensitive to the amount of energy you have. People high in energy enjoy activities that burn that energy, even after work, while those with low energy levels would find such activities exhausting. In the case of sex, the more energy a person has, the more sex he or she tends to need. Since leisure activities and sex are two of the best ways to enjoy time together after marriage, incompatibility in these areas can make it very difficult for a couple to create a fulfilling and permanent romantic relationship. If one of you lies around watching TV while the other scurries about and can�t sit still, you�re probably a bad match. But if you find that you enjoy activities that require the same amount of energy from both of you, you probably pass the energy test. Harley, Willard F. Jr.. Buyers, Renters & Freeloaders: Turning Revolving-Door Romance into Lasting Love (Kindle Locations 374-378). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. gerold, since Dr. Harley doesn't believe in premarital sex, what do you think he meant when he wrote that?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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[In the case of sex, the more energy a person has, the more sex he or she tends to need. Since leisure activities and sex are two of the best ways to enjoy time together after marriage, incompatibility in these areas can make it very difficult for a couple to create a fulfilling and permanent romantic relationship. Since Dr Harley does not believe in pre-marital sex what do you think he means when he says "AFTER MARRIAGE?"  Were you able to find ANY PLACE where he ever endorses pre-marital sex? Unless he changed his entire position last Friday,[haven't heard Friday show yet] his position has always been against pre-marital sex.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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If one of you lies around watching TV while the other scurries about and can�t sit still, you�re probably a bad match. But if you find that you enjoy activities that require the same amount of energy from both of you, you probably pass the energy test. Right here he tells you how to test this, and it doesn't involve having sex.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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My female friends say that no single woman will ever claim she wants anything more than a fling at first. Because if she does, it means she will be easy... and no woman wants to appear easy. Having been a single woman, I can tell you that's bull. And only easy girls say stuff like that.
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I just want to point out that geroldmodel is not a very good catch himself right now, if he is also willing to jump in the sack within the first two weeks of dating.
I would not date a man who did this, or anticipated it, or suggested it. I would not consider him marriage material.
This goes both ways. Expect more FROM yourself, not just FOR yourself. I very much agree with this. Decent women will not go on a single date with a man who lives like this. If you want a higher class woman (more than a freeloader), you're going to have to be higher class yourself.
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My female friends say that no single woman will ever claim she wants anything more than a fling at first. Because if she does, it means she will be easy... and no woman wants to appear easy. Having been a single woman, I can tell you that's bull. And only easy girls say stuff like that. It doesn't even make any sense. Saying you want to have a "fling" gives the appearance of being easy.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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gerold, you're in a box and describing the box to us. The rest of us are out of the box and telling you what a wonderful world it is out here and encouraging you to get out of the box. I'm not sure you believe there's a box or an outside, though.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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