Ok I am new so forgive me if this is in the wrong part of the general forum for marriage things. OK backstory, hubby and I have been married for 3 years but together since 2003 and basically married cause we were living together and all that jazz. Anyway I have always been the more outgoing one, I call him my vanilla bean haha. So naturally I am more sexual in nature but he has mostly been able to keep up. Now we had a kido (my 4th and his 1st) it was a difficult pregnancy which made him all the more nutty since it was his first go at the pregnant thing plus I was high risk...not fun😑. Ok so I had my 1st ever c section and I'm a big chicken when it come to surgery recovery that I didn't just jump in to lose my baby weight right away. Also very demanding toddler who is excellent at preventing any brothers or sisters, if ya catch my drift haha. I was slipping into the "letting it go" stage but was awoken when a friend of mine told me to snap out of it!! I wanted to go back to my bubbly sexy but tasteful self so joined a gym. Now I have taken sexy cell phone pictures before and sexted
To my man long before that was given a name?! So I didn't think two thoughts of snapping a picture of my butt or other things to see my "progress" of working out. Well cell phone cameras are actually pretty nice now so I was like whoa!! The hubby will wanna see these. And at first he was like omg this is the best thing ever....I did not do this every week or anything like once or twice a month to see the difference and share with him as well. I have gotten pretty darn good at taking these pictures that I will probably go to hell for but he has lost interest 🙁 or so it seems. I mean I thought guys wanted a wife who would surprise them, want to have sex, dress up in things they liked, cooked and cleaned. Is my husband too spoiled? Am I doing something wrong?! Of corse my female brain is probably just over thinking it which I do that a lot too but I can't help to think is he bored with me?! I'm close to my pre-baby form or as close as I will probably get cause I do like my curves but he just seems to complacent to me. Yes I have spoken with him about this and it's always the same, " nooo I love them it's just I'm busy" or "ya I have seen that before" (this is the one that makes me 😔 cause it's hurtful). He is no beefcake and I don't care. I tell him he is sexy all the time and I mean hello I'm sending you pictures of my butt...come play with, so it's pretty obvious that I'm totally into my hubby. So guess my question is, can guys become overly spoiled and lose interest because their wife is too sexy? I mean would guys enjoy having naked selfies and sexy lingeriepictures sent to them a couple of times a month and sex as often as we can steal a moment away from being parents. Also not seeking attention or bragging, this is a real question. I can't ask any of my guy friends cause the 1st rule to having guy friends is to not show weakness of a marriage or you could loss the guy friend cause he goes into the grunt grunt, caveman, must try to have sex with vulnerable female mode. So I thought I would ask the Internet instead. Ok ok I have rambled enough. Hope someone answers. Oh and I also stopped sending him pictures for months now. I still take them for myself cause it's fun but I just don't share them with anyone. He hasn't said yay or nay about that change. It's only made me more 😢

Hi, Rogue,

The actual first rule of having opposite sex friends when you're married is don't do it.

Does your husband look at pornography and/or masturbate? That will definitely lower a guy's sexual interest. It will decrease his sex drive and will also cause a negative contrast effect. That would probably be the first thing to check. If he doesn't do any of this then it might be a good idea for a doctor to check his testosterone levels and his testosterone uptake. Dr. Harley has mentioned this a few times on his radio show.

One of the first things to do might be to tell him you'd like more sexual interest from him. Talking about problems to your spouse is always a good idea and is one of the first steps in negotiating the solution to any marital problem:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3350_guide.html

Hello Bunny. Welcome to Marriage Builders. You have come to a great place to get help.


Maybe, but only your hubby can answer what it is that you may be doing wrong.



It doesn't matter what other guys might become. What matters is what does your H think of all this?

Sounds like there is some missing radical honesty in your R.

Things have changed in your marriage and you have concerns and are maybe feeling a little insecure about his reactions. You are here communicating those concerns to us instead of communicating your concerns to him (Unless I read your post incorrectly). In a good marriage you should be able to talk honestly about this with him. Complaints and expressed concerns are a great part of a good marriage (so long as they are communicated in the proper way. No angry outbursts, disrespectful judgments or selfish demands, etc.). Complaining gets the issue out in the open and allows you two to work on a solution that you are both happy with.